The transport shuttle was nearly to Bajor when Major Kira Nerys finally gave up on writing crew evaluations. The only reason she'd taken public transit in the first place, instead of piloting her own runabout, was so she could work on the dreaded reports. It turned out that was a mistake. So far, she had spent the whole trip fighting her own attention span, catching herself several times staring out the starboard window, lost in thought, and as a consequence had manged to get absolutely nothing done.
Kira looked down on the PADD in her lap, and heaved a sigh. If she didn't have these evals in to Sisko by the end of the week, her next trip to Bajor might be one way, but the only work she had started was a whopping one form, out of twenty. Maybe she could get that one lonely form done before they landed, and salvage something of her trip. Resolved, Kira picked up her PADD, and took a sip of her raktijino, reading the last thing she'd written.
Private Ch'thala has shown much growth since his transfer to Operations. We have been pleased with his efficiency, and his attention to detail. However, his performance would be greatly improved if Odo would shove me up against a wall, take what he wanted, and end this agonized mess for both of us.
Kira slapped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes popped. Had she really written that? Taking a furtive glance around, Kira double-punched the backspace, making those telling words disappear as fast as her fingers could make them. Prophets, if anyone had read that over her shoulder, she would have crawled under her seat and died.
Revealing statements gone, the Major shut the PADD off, and stuffed it back into her carry-all with an angry shove. There would most definitely be no more crew evals getting done today. Kira picked up her raktijino, and leaned back in her seat, trying to stay calm. What she'd written wasn't all that surprising, though, when she thought about it. After all, this wouldn't be the first time such ideas about her chief of security had distracted her. She was pretty sure just about every woman- and some of the men- on the station had wondered what Odo would be like in bed, at least once. After all, Odo was a shapeshifter, and though Kira was not the most imaginative person, she wasn't totally hopeless.
Not that all of her thoughts about Odo were dirty ones. It was the opposite, in fact. Odo was her friend first, her best friend, though Kira was uncertain how Odo was classifying their relationship these days. Since that night in Jadzia's closet, they couldn't seem to get back on track, and be the friends they were. Kira had tried giving Odo, and herself, some space, some time apart, in light of what they'd discussed that night. It had been intense, but if they could talk about their problems for eight hours straight, and not kill each other, there had to be hope things would work out.
The Major heaved a sigh, and looked back out the window. That closet conversation was over a year ago now. In all that time, Odo still hadn't made a move.
Kira thought about the near-disaster of the previous morning, in Vic's, where Julian's fancy hologram had almost spilled the beans about her and Odo in front of everyone. Jadzia was the only other person, besides Odo himself, who knew about Odo's feelings for her, and Kira didn't need a self-styled light bulb crying her business to the whole station. A part of her, though, almost wished that photometric busybody had finished what he was going to say, and had gotten things out in the open. Odo needed some kind of intervention.
How could someone profess to carry a long-burning torch for her, and then douse it when she was around? Whenever Odo saw her these days, it was 'Major' this, and 'Ma'am' that. She was getting 'How-can-I-help-youed' to death. To Kira, that night in Jadzia's closet was starting to seem like kind of dream now, a brief oasis where they'd both let their guards down, and finally found some honesty about their relationship. Much to Kira's confusion, as soon as they'd left that quiet nook, Odo had slid his formal mask right back on, holding her at arm's length and hiding behind rank to avoid being personal. As usual. For a whole year.
If it were up to her, Kira would carve the word "predictable" on Odo's crew eval, right at the top. Bolded. And underscored.
On that long ago night, Odo had said his feelings for her had not changed, and Kira had come out of that closet with her feelings not so clear, but with her heart definitely turning his direction. She had let go of that disturbing business with the Founder that had pushed them apart. She had forgiven Odo, fully, but was left with the sense that Odo was still having trouble forgiving himself. Kira figured it may have something to do with the current state of things. Still, she'd expected Odo to follow up in some way, to invite her to dinner, or for a walk, or a springball game, or...something. But for a whole year, there had been nothing. No cards, no invitations, not even so much as a drink at Quark's. Their Tuesday morning meetings had become downright clinical.
With all of this nothing going on, Kira would have thought the constable had lost interest in her entirely, but once in a while, just sometimes, Odo would forget himself. The mask would slip off, and his feelings were there for her to see, warm and sure. How could such water-cool eyes conduct so much heat? Those searing glances were enough to spur Kira to make a move herself, but what came out of Odo's mouth didn't match his eyes, and the disparity made her less confident than ever.
And if Kira Nerys didn't have confidence, she had nothing.
So, as usual, her relationship with Odo was an agonized mess, and thinking about those blue and blazing gazes again certainly didn't help any. Kira squirmed in her seat, fanning a blush. Against a wall, indeed. Was it any wonder she was writing scandalous things on official documents? Odo needed to decide what he wanted from her, and do something about it soon, or the station was going to end up a smoking ruin when she spontaneously combusted.
“Folks, this is the captain speaking. We'll be landing on Bajor in about ten minutes. For your safety, we're asking you to return to your seats, and buckle yourselves in for the approach to atmosphere. We appreciate your flying with us today, and hope your stay on Bajor is a pleasant one. Walk with the Prophets.”
As the captain signed off, Kira secured her carry-all under the seat, and then secured herself for the landing. She was actually looking forward to this assignment on Bajor. Maybe taking care of business with the First Minister would get her mind off of her Odo problems. Though this visit was supposed to be about the war, she and Shakaar never stuck to business for long. After all, they'd both been in the war business a long time, so how much time did they ever spend dwelling on it? They both knew their roles well, so this debriefing should be short. It would be good, though, to see Shakaar again, to talk with him again. Kira found she had missed his comradeship, despite the ugliness that had ended their romantic relationship.
The transport shifted down in speed, and the green-blue globe of Bajor appeared in Kira's window. Her brow drew down as she made out the Dahkur continent. She hadn't seen Shakaar in person since they'd split, had only talked to him through government communiques and the occasional private message. Kira had preferred to let go of what happened between them, and not dwell on it, and Shakaar hadn't tried to bring any of it up with her since, but Kira had the sinking feeling Shakaar wasn't going to be able to avoid it anymore once he saw her in the flesh.
On second thought, a long conversation with Shakaar Edon sounded like going from the proverbial frying pan, and into the fire.