Date: 31 Oct 2010 12:57 Title: A New, Old Order: Sleeping Dogs
This paragraph reminded me a lot of the Romulan one. Yes, the killing here is done a lot more brutishly, as one would come to expect from Klingons but perhaps those two people, as much as they may hate each other, are not so different after all.
I liked the notion that in the Klingon Empire the intelligence gathering is done by their equivalent of the Border Service. That makes kinda sense.
Also very glad that arrogant Fresac was put down the way he was. Too bad he didn't learn his lesson about the dangers of antagonizing an old warrior. With now being dead and all.
Date: 31 Oct 2010 03:34 Title: A New, Old Order: Sleeping Dogs
I think you really nailed the Klingon culture with both the mood and dialogue of this piece. "You wouldn't know honor if it crawled into your bed and mothered you a whelp" is just a grade-A Klingon insult. It will be interesting to see what this power play brings forth in the larger Border Dogs universe.
An intriguing look into the backrooms of the Klingon hierarchy, and highly enjoyable.
Date: 08 Aug 2010 16:23 Title: A New, Old Order: A New Command
For a moment there I was worried Amelia would be made first officer. She's quite the firecracker with a vicious temperament which I'm sure is much better suited to keep the engines running instead of command.
Great to see the forming of the Border Service here. Just like the service it will become, it's origins are less than glamours. But these are people who realize that somebody needs to step up and make sure that Starfleet can go and gallivant around the universe in peace without having to worry about pesky border incursions.
Ha, ha! Oh my, the thought of Amelia as XO would be just unthinkable! I just don't think she would be cut out for it - though thankfully onboard a border cutter she won't have as mnay diplomatic functions to carry out. Besides, she views the engines as being hers and that would be enough to pawn the ship!
Yup, these are the people stepping up to the mark, drawing the line in the sand and saying 'go on if you think you are hard enough!' And less than glamorous it is.
Figured it best to go this route as opposed to another talky chapter about the formation of the Service or the Federation. Given your feedback, I figured it would be best to mix such chapters in amongst more sparky and dialogue snapping pieces. Thanks for the helpful feedback!
Date: 06 Aug 2010 15:33 Title: A New, Old Order: A New Command
Well, there we go. An awesome look at the founding of the Border Patrol!
In one paragraph, we know EXACTLY who Amelia is -- and that she's pissed. Great characterization here for her, for her Captain, and for AnKorr.
Seems that command team has quite a history of being awesome together, so it will be interesting to see AnKorr forge a relationship with someone new, with himself in the top spot instead of the bottom. And I wonder how much we will be seeing of Hofschroer now that he's a Commodore. Could be interesting to see the approach he takes to such a large command.
A great installment, and having seen this crew in the future through the RR ... I have to say Amelia is going to live to eat her words about Lesley. She hasn't seen a stuck up, bitchy science officer yet.
Ha! Yeah Amelia kinda sets out her stall all in one go doesn't she! As for characterisation, I take no credit for her as she just spilled out onto the page. But pissed or about to be pissed are her most common moods. And yes, she will come to miss Lesley - the next stuck up bitch she meets is going to have pointy ears and dismissive eyebrows - I don't foresee things going well there.
We will see a bit of the commodore as he is involved in a lot of the setting up of the Border Patrol Service and of course has a vested interest in AnKorr and Amelia. So there'll be more of him. As to whether his style will suit a larger command and flying a desk is a whole other matter.
AnKorr does have a lot to get used. Commanding his own ship is going to be a huge step up from being XO to Dwight. In addition to that, we will have to remember at this time there wasn't a huge thing for multi-species crews - and if we go by TOS - that seemed to be a long time thing. So he will also have to contend with being a non-human in charge of humans, a non-Denobulan being in charge of Denobulans, etc. And indeed seeing a multi-species crew coming together and learning to work collaboratively. All of this in the back drop of the Romulan War and whatever fall out and tensions and scars remain after it.
Thanks for reading and reviewing and liking. Too kind. But don't let that stop you! ;)
Date: 28 Jul 2010 19:08 Title: A New, Old Order: Long Live the Praetor
I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the long, drawn out style you employ here. I suppose I'm more of a fast pace, dialogue over prose kinda reader.
Having said that, I got into this the more I read. I really like the setting and the period and getting a chance to see the outcome of the Earth-Romulan war from a Romulan perspective. The many Romulan terms tended to be a bit confusing I thought but a lot of other things were really fascinating such as the rationale behind remaining mostly secretive about culture and appearance.
The young apprentices death, or eventual death may be unfortunate but he really brought that on himself. As a Romulan, especially one dealing with keepers of secrets (read 'Bloody Spooks') he really should have known better.
In the end I did appreciate this tale and it does make me curious what else you've got plan for this series.
First off, thank you for reading and reviewing. Secondly, thank you for an honest and constructive review. I think I will go back and take out some elements of the ROmulan language. In my research I caught up a little in it. Though probably thinking if I dunk a good bit of Romulan flavour into this first section I won't have to do it in any later Romulan sections! LOL! But there really isn't a point in having it if it lends to confusion. Thanks for that perspective.
Yes, I really wanted to show things from a Romulan POV given their part in the Romulan War and the fact they seemingly stay low and hidden until the TOS era. My imaginings are that they didn't in fact stay out of Federation affairs, merely played a hidden game with spies, assassins and saboteurs.
As for what's in store, at present I'm thinking there will be some Romulan trickery to thwart some of the Federation plans, with sleeper agents and what not. Likewise, i enjoyed doing this Romulan POV that I've a Vulcan POV lined up about the propect of joining a Federation as well as a Klingon one that may or may not work. The Vulcan one being maybe, more of a long drawn out style. We'll see if it comes together or not. The Klingon one has a bit more happening in it.
Thanks again for the comments CeJay. Really appreciate the reviews.
Date: 28 Jul 2010 15:09 Title: A New, Old Order: Long Live the Praetor
Wow! I get to drop my red F! This was awesome, MF! Very richly detailed and full of manipulation and political intrigue. You really did your research, and it shows. I loved the inclusion of bits of the Romulan language and culture. Jonus is a creep, but creeps can make for wonderful reading. Tuvoth is every bit the Senator's son, too. Well-characterized and well-written. Loved it!
Whoo hoo. Thank you for the review. Good, bad or indifferent, glad to know somebody's reading this stuff! Jonus isn't a creep - he's a patriot! ;)
Very happy that the Romulan stuff went over ok - not sure if it wasn't overdone perhaps in this the first chance we get to meet the Rommies in the story. [Well apart from those zipping by and getting blown up in the Cheron war chapters!] Was there too much being dropped into proceedings?
But the characterisation is the main thing and you liked that so far. Thanks again for the review and for reading.