Date: 23 Jul 2010 18:45 Title: Chapter 4
A mirror that you can turn off is quite a mind jolt for a marine from his time! Hee, hee. I like where he finds the little things to marvel at.
Oh but things are interesting and even ominous with Guinan's words to Picard. And Picard after meeitng with Gavin is not too impressed by the fact that this young man is central to whatever Guinan speaks of. Liking that Guinan again displays her unusual sense of things and even Q's ways of playing about with the universe. Wonder how it is she does that? More importantly, how is it that this Marine is going to be central to whatever is going to happen?
Date: 19 Jul 2010 16:36 Title: Chapter 3
Again, another interesting instalment as we see Gavin/Charger adjust to his strange new surroundings. It is a lot to take in and to absorb never mind even try to adjust to. His military background appears to be helpful in the event at least. We still await the why of his being brought through. Good to see the mystery being played out and the focus at this stage his adjustment to his nefound surroundings.
One thing, validating the chapter I noted and corrected a few titles. Any lieutenant Hawks for example were changed to Lieutenant Hawks. Wit a given name it is usually customary to capitalise the rank [including doctor, if naming Doctor Crusher]. Also watch your opening and closing speechmark punctuation.
Otherwise, very interesting stuff still. Looking forward to how this plays out.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 16:24 Title: Chapter 2
So Picard and co. are back on trial with Q showing his hand already. Or as much as he deems to do so at the present moment in time. We still don't know what to make of Gavin being in the future and just why he is there, but it is certainly an interesting start.
So far he has reacted quite naturally to things. I love how this his second time round of being told he is in the future he handles it betters, even meeting an alien, but it's being able to speak in egnlish to the alien that floors him!! Hee, hee.
I also just love the line, 'Why does everything always beep here when they do anything?' Hee, hee. That is such a true observation and completely hilarious now that it has been pointed out. In fact, you may have ruined my watching of all things Trek now, as I'll be noting the constant need for things to beep! LOL.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 05:10 Title: Chapter 1
Nice start. The guy is a Marine and he talks like a Marine. And in a fight there would be a lot of colorful language exchanged. I am leanign towards White Guy being Q also, I don't think God would call his creations tiny puny humans. I look forward to seeing more.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 02:39 Title: Chapter 1
Well, that was certainly interesting. I'll be checking back to see how the fairly prim and proper Enterprise-D crew react to this potty-mouthed young soldier from their past. This story could go just about anywhere, and that's a good thing -- you've piqued my interest. Keep it up! And welcome to Ad Astra! (Love your name, by the way -- I really liked Lt. Hawk in FC.)
Date: 19 Jul 2010 00:48 Title: Chapter 1
I must say, that old man MUST be Q. How he was mentioned to be "snarky", and his obvious contempt for humanity, calling them puny, feeble-minded, etc. etc. And since the Q are said to be able to appear in whatever guise they may wish, it is highly plausible that that would be Q, trying to play God, as he always seem to enjoy trying to do.
I like Gavin. He seems really down to earth, with a don't F with me personality. I'm interested to see how he handles TNG.
Like MF said, it was very unusual for that kind of gritty, foulmouthed opening for a TNG story. But it worked, certainly. I myself was never a big fan of Bev Crusher, but I am at least curious to see how this situation looks from the POV of an often overlooked character.
Very nice, and can't wait for more~!
Date: 18 Jul 2010 19:30 Title: Chapter 1
Well it is certainly unusual to see such a gritty TNG story, opening with a very foulmouthed soldier. That though makes for it to be quite effective, showing a difference between our TNG heroes and our more uncouth era [albeit a WW soldier]. I wonder how the likes of Picard will handle this soldier given his more rough edges. Likewise Data.
And seemingly, a soldier with some sort of crazy adventure ahead, depending upon whatever Q is up to. That just ups the gripping introduction and sets the scene for an intriguing story. I do wonder where this is going. But then, that's the joy of a storytelling telling experience!
On one other note, from the blurb on the story, it appears that the focus is going to be Dr. Crusher. All too often she is overlooked, even hated, in many fanfics. So it will be interesting to see where you go with the story and dealing with Crusher as a main protagonist. Good luck with the story LtHawk76.