Date: 31 Mar 2011 21:07 Title: Chapter 7
Wowzers. Well, seems the battle took it's toll on lives and emotions, and poor Jellico. Not an easy man to get along with, but I feel for him here...so wanting to do something yet unable to without sacrificing everything and even then, on a gambit with a very small chance for success.
Nice chapter. Look forward to seeing what's going on inside the Nebula.
Author's Response: Yes, it's enough to make us feel a little sorry for Jellico...on the other hand, maybe we should hold off on that until the ending, ha ha.
Date: 21 Dec 2010 12:09 Title: Chapter 7
Another hefty Dominion War dose - again with compelling details and character povs, shifting scenes and only their narrow perspective to glean information about what is happening. It adds to the mystery and to the revelation of whatever is happening here, which is continuing to be puzzling and dangerous in feel and then compounded by the losses of the Battle and the imminient victory for Betazed. Terrific.
Author's Response: Here's hoping you like the pending climax! And thanks again for taking the time to write!
Date: 21 Dec 2010 11:50 Title: Chapter 6
I gotta say - this feels at the moment like two different stories - two very compelling stories at that! We have a terrific Dominion War battle waging and this time given from a Cardassian pov that was fascinating and brilliantly conveyed. You got the sense of the starship captain playing gambits ala our canon heroes to out fox the enemy - only we see it played out from this intriguing opposing perspective with characters who come to life within one chapter. This is brilliant.
The the other story is this curious TOS like alien presence - that is confounding, strange, and ominous. Especially wiht the ending - the Inth are coming! Wow. Great.
So the question remains to be seen how this will all tie in together - which is quite compelling to wait and see. Very well written creating a top notch atmosphere.
Author's Response: Nice to hear from you again, Miranda. And thanks as always for such a well thought review. I'm happy you like this enough to keep coming back.
Date: 02 Dec 2010 14:45 Title: Chapter 6
Damn-I was kinda sad to see Katorn die. He was a riot of awesomeness. I hope he found a way out of there-he's too good a character to die on the spot.
As for Adol and Doug-dude, it's looking bad. I don't know who these Inth are, but they seem pretty angry if they messed Doug up as bad. I hope the two get out of there before any permanent damage is done. As always, good stuff.
I want more. :)
Author's Response: Well, I can only promise escalation...broo ha ha... Concerning Katorn, well, you never know. Some Cardassians are like bad pennies. Thanks for taking the time to leave feedback!
Date: 24 Oct 2010 23:56 Title: Chapter 5
Man oh man. The ending scene is troubling. What the heck have they wandered into in the nebula. Something NOT good that is for sure.
As for the depiction of Jellico and the battle of Betazed. Wow. Awesome details and sense of carnage and destruction along with a sense of seeing a glimpse of history. Very well done.
Author's Response: I suppose you could say everyone's having a bad day at the office at this point. To paraphrase Saavik: "And what is yet to come." Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Always appreciated.
Date: 24 Oct 2010 23:46 Title: Chapter 4
Well calamity has indeed descended upon them - the disaster I sensed waiting in the air has come - though I'll be damned as to what to make of it! Brilliant stuff. The brillian, fun banter between the two quickly becomes shorthand communication in a battle of wills to beat the odds and the elements. Great interaction portrayed here as well as great drama of the unfolding ... whatever.
Author's Response: Thanks, Miranda Fave. I'm glad the character work is ringing true. As we all know, without interesting characters even the most compelling story falls flat.
Date: 06 Jul 2010 18:53 Title: Chapter 5
Wow-Jellico goes hardcore, and Pal is alive! But mother of pearl, what has he discovered? What's this alien species that strikes such terror into his heart?
Great chapter and well worth the wait. Look forward to more!
Author's Response: I'm glad you're still enjoying it! More is on the way!
Date: 23 May 2010 16:18 Title: Chapter 4
Man, what is going on in that nebula?! First the Genesis device seemingly misfires and then a terporal vortex? This can't be good.
Love the banter between the two characters featured here and I hope they don't die...but it seems they're right in the thick of something and it doesn't look good. Look forward to the next chapter. :)
Author's Response: Our two friends are indeed up to their eyebrows in trouble! Thanks for your comments! More to come.
Date: 21 Mar 2010 22:24 Title: Chapter 3
Tally-ho indeed. Into the fray they go. It seems awful that such little faith has been put in the crew of Intrepid's shuttle to complete the mission. Oh ye of little faith ... I am hoping that they do indeed show the rest of the fleet what they are made of. I guess rooting for the underdog is going to be a theme in this tale. I like the description of the Intrepid as the experimental test bed that makes it one powerful but ultimately problematic ship. It seems Aubrey has his hands full regardless of the mission and the added complication of command of the Excelsior wing.
What really impresses me are the details that pepper the dialogue and the scenery. Details about ship movements, attack patterns and the engineering reports. All done so as not to intrude on the story telling but add so much flavour and authenicity to the tale. Very well rendered and brilliant realisation onto paper without being gimmicky or techno-babble like. This is seen most especially in the combat between the fighters and the Montreal runabout. Great action stuff that was of course then followed up with the heart stuff as Hiroko silently grieves her loss.
I am also liking our Vulcan friend Shantok. Her interesting background makes for her to be one formidable Vulcan and character. I'll be interested to see how she develops.
And to note, I like the detail that Aubrey prefers to command from the secondardy bridge. A wonder it wasn't standard procedure in the war. Continued great stuff and a bumper of a chapter.
Author's Response: As always, I appreciate your reviews. I do strive for the right balance of technical detail and story pacing. I'm pleased that so far, it's working out. Thanks for commenting on the numerous details that I added.
Date: 13 Mar 2010 06:09 Title: Chapter 2
Wowzers...the Genesis device. I have a haunting feeling that things are gonna go from bad to worse once that thing is exploded. Genesis always leads to problems. Nice chapter, great work.
Author's Response: Thanks. We'll see just how more complicated this gets...
Date: 03 Mar 2010 21:11 Title: Chapter 2
Ok so a genesis device weapon being fired into a mysterious nebula shows the type of gambits Starfleet is willing to take in war time. Once upon a time this would have had more than Intrepid's Operations Officer, Lt. Douglas Pal showing a guilty conscience about the act they are baout to commit. Compare his attitude to that of his best friend Adol and to Jellico's willingness to use the wepon in the first place you can see just how much the war is taking a toll on Starfleet - the cost of lives and moral principles too.
You've used good choices of characters to explore the situations and to add an emotional investment to the story. Everything hasa feel of hanging in the air awaiting some sort of disaster. I wonder what it will be. I figure the nebula is connected to the enemy that took out the O’lantia. Hence the ion storms that are attracted to it - maybe a long ago weapon or a sleeping enemy. That's my two pennies worth. Great stuff.
Date: 22 Feb 2010 20:11 Title: Chapter 1
Well the introduction of te Intrepid crew is off to an interesting start. The banter and word play between CMO and Counsellor was entertaining as well as illuminating revealling many pertinent facts about our captain. He has garnered fame in the course of the war but a fame he does not seek or relish. Even Jellico appears to know of Aubrey's winning charm and ways. Of course, when the man talks of double edges and putting a dangerous plan in front of other starships commanders one knows they are dealing with a tactician, a keen mind, but one that likes to play it risky. Nice introduction to characters and begins to give a feel for the story and crew.
Date: 22 Feb 2010 19:51 Title: Prologue
Wow. Quite an interesting nad indeed ominious beginning to the story. The O’lantia are defeated despite their strengths and advantages. Worst still, for some reason they revert back to their stone age level, which may be the result of some further machination on the part of their enemy. Their enemy remains unknown and seem pretty formidable. It should be interesting to see where this is going to take out intrepid explorers.
Date: 21 Feb 2010 11:03 Title: Chapter 1
Wow, you've opened with a real attention-grabbing prologue, and your first chapter has introduced us to a host of fascinating and compelling characters. I'm enjoying the opportunity to re-visit the beginnings of Intrepid.
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to add a review, Gibraltar. Your comments are always appreciated.