Date: 03 May 2013 11:51 Title: Chapter 1
I don't know as I've read your other work, and this story is clearly not the very beginning.
But - the mark of a good writer is to be able to allow the reader to jump in, somewhere in the middle, and still more or less get it.
Fascinating, itchily paranoid reading. Kudos.
Date: 19 Jan 2010 13:32 Title: Chapter 1
Hmm, hints as to what is wrong in this universe. Fascinating. A rebellion building under an "ordinary" facade. You have layers to you, Rob. Are you an ogre? :)
Give me an animated Cameron Diaz and we'll talk! :) At this point, its not yet a rebellion so much as a coping mechanism for dealing with officers compromised by a hate-filled ideology. It could get to the revolt stage, though. Thanks!
Date: 13 Jan 2010 21:03 Title: Chapter 1
A sweet little slice-of-life! There was one grammar error I caught: "Your presuming anything that ate brains would even want yours. C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?" -- You're would be the right usage. But it was still a neat little tale, with some very neat insights. Nicely done!
As Roland The Gunslinger would say, Thankee-Sai! I will move on that error ASAP, and thanks also for pointing it up to me.
I liked this challenge, because one of the real terrors of the ADU is that it is not the MU. The MU is honest and in your face about its nature. The ADU is an isotope, not a different element altogether, and it often wears a facade of normality. Like Stephen King said about the original 'I Am Legend' novel, real fear comes not from an obviously haunted house, but from one that looks just like any other on the surface.
Date: 13 Jan 2010 16:05 Title: Chapter 1
I'm a little lost on the greater plotline here, since I haven't read this series yet, but I loved the interaction between the crew and you nailed their voices. Chekov was especially funny.
Is it any surprise that Chekov, Scotty, MASH's Charles Winchester, and Lost In Space's Doctor Smith are among my favorite characters to write? Also, I had practice writing Chekov as Captain of the E-B for Orion Press. As I mentioned to Miranda Fave, 'Come The High Water' as well as 'Down Through The Circles-Saavik's Tale' are good primers for knowing who's who and what's what in this AU.
Thank you both!
Date: 13 Jan 2010 13:58 Title: Chapter 1
Well I've not read much in your Destroyer universe so at a loss as to some of the things, particularly at the end, however, the whole story is a great slice of life as befits the challenge. And in the setting of your universe with so much at stake to see a staff meeting dealing with tackling some of the issues is in and of itself spectactular for the mundane of it all. Uhura delivers the news to varying degrees of enthusiasm. Hee hee. Loved the different responses everyone had - in particular Chekov's admonishment of Sulu and his plans. Hee hee.
Admiralty Hall is the embodiment of the TNG/DS9 'mad admiral' syndrome. They have in this case been sponsored and run by the xenophobic Order Of The Ancient Destroyer. It has chapters on each world, each one believing only it and its species will be spared when King Ghidorah returns. They gather in centers of power--the Senate on Romulus, T'Pring's House on Vulcan, and the top echelon of Starfleet Command on Earth. The late Admiral Nogura attempted to deal with them and keep Starfleet from erupting into Civil War--but he ended up Chamberlain and Von Hindenburg, instead of Churchill and Roosevelt. After his death, Cartwright (Brock 'Joseph Sisko' Peters, from Movies IV and VI) moved into power, and placed the fleet not loyal to the Order under scrutiny, with the number one target being Kirk and his crew. Kirk's father George opposed the construction of Admiralty Hall. Kirk's legal nephew and son-by-blood in this AU, Peter, is a prophesied figure meant to stop Ghidorah and the Order, along with Saavik, who in this AU is Spock's daughter, though he has supressed the memory of her violent and unwilling conception when he was a Romulan captive. To further their goals, the Hall has officers on board 'disloyal' ships who report directly to them. Sarek is undertaking at this time to rescue Peter Kirk from his captivity in the depths of Admiralty Hall--the 'inquiry' Spock was unknowingly reffing.
Apart from all that, I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you ever do have a yen to get into the ADU, I'll suggest starting with 'Come The High Water', which tells the story of S31 Agent Colonel West (Rene Auberjonois) and the choices this AU forces him to make. It intros and explains the position of all the major players, and many of the major events.