Date: 01 Dec 2011 15:20 Title: Chapter 1
Wow! It was like watching an epic two-parter of a Star Trek episode! The first half of the story was a little drab, but things hotted up when Hadar wanted to track down Limis. However the only little grudge I have with it, is how the ending so perfectly emulated the first part of Shockwave, that ENT episode. Other than that this was great, and one of the most riveting stories I've read from your series!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it overall despite the copy off the Enterprise Season 1 finale, but at least the solution to this conundrum is more a carbon copy of DS9. And of course, a lot of Trek two-parters have quiet or drab openings, but that's sort of the point as a calm before the storm.
Date: 10 Sep 2011 15:53 Title: Chapter 6
Ah - I love the ENT references, not only to the Temporal Cold War (and the Grabowski issue is rather similar to what happened with Daniels), but also the reference to the Briar Patch, which is a location from the Augments arc.
So - cool!
Now, I'm not so sure I liked the holographic counselor. Frankly, if a real counselor was that unhelpful, the patient should have been going to a different counselor. Maybe I would have either had that happen, or seen more complaining from Morrison. Why go if it seems to damned pointless and ineffective? Or is he just feeling so incredibly guilty that he can't see that he isn't getting very good care?
One thing I have found is that space battles are difficult to write. They seem to cry out for visuals. I appreciate the visual effects you've added. They help to enhance your writing without overpowering it. And, of course, the reference to Death Stars - and then the quick dismissal of Twentieth Century pop culture - was priceles.
Author's Response: Regarding the Temporal Cold War, it's mostly a reference to how everyone's fan-fiction universe is their own quantum reality. And the Briar Patch is more in the context of Insurrection, completely disregarding Soong's alternative name for the Klak D'Kel Brakt Nebula (that just makes things more confusing). As someone who has been in counseling and has immediate family going to counseling, I know it usually starts with a single crisis and then goes into related psychological issues (see the reference to Setlik Three) and that process can take months. That character arc is explored in other stories. As for the Star Wars reference, I often like to included references to other sci-fi shows.