Date: 24 Jan 2010 19:17 Title: Reindeer Games
Ha! Let's hope Rishley hasn't done anything TOO permanent in there!
And this could be very interesting if word got back to Sen somehow that Alawa was alive. Very, VERY interesting. It seems to me that even though he's been out of her proximity for quite some time, he is STILL in love with her. Which makes me wonder: either Mindel BS'ed her about her true nature, or I was right and there was something beyond the pheromones.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Wait till you see just what he has been up to. I base some of his behavior in the fact that he just is a strange artist. And so it shall. The only thing the crew has to go on is stuff they have seen in reports which can be twisted. This has been inspired by a few incidents in my life where I have known a story first hand and then when I see it in the newspaper, it gets completely twisted and these are simple things. So back to DIC, it will all come to light over the next few chapters.
Date: 24 Jan 2010 13:43 Title: History's Fallacies
Uh-oh...Rishley sure picked the wrong time for THAT!
My favorite scene is the gift of the genetic samples from Vulcan. I hope that's a genuine gift, though, and not something that's been engineered to do harm. Given what Sen's said before, I would think HE would want it to be genuine, but if a third party figures out what he's trying to do (say, his wife), that could be dangerous.
Author's Response: Thank you Nerys. Yes, Rishley is my tribute to a true punk. And yes, Sen definitely cares for his distant cousins and has taken to heart what his father has told him. There are many things that he keeps from dear wifey. He took it to heart about keeping his friends close and enemies closer.
Date: 14 Jan 2010 23:55 Title: Doppelganger
Hey there! I sized down the cover in your summary; if you'd like to link to the full-sized image, you can, just add the a href tag before and after the img tag. Full covers are also fine for summaries on Series pages. Thanks!
Author's Response: No probem. Thank you.
Date: 14 Jan 2010 22:07 Title: Blood Vengeance
Uh-oh, as soon as Nika said "Zelipe is in love with me," I KNEW she was going to be in trouble...
The question is, is she going to KNOW the Uhaii are raping her? Man, that is a cold, cold punishment! I don't think even SHE deserves it...she would be better off dead than going through that.
Author's Response: Thank you. Yes that was cruel punishment and the entire thing with Zelipe was the big clue that something was up. Excellent picking that clue out. No she doesnít know. More of her will be revealed. Sen would not do that but the Praetor would. Thatís how he justifies it. While it may not be right by our human standards by his Romulan way of thinking, heís justified in that revenge.
Date: 10 Jan 2010 19:48 Title: The Talvath Initiative
Now I REALLY find myself hoping that Sen will still love Alawa even with the pheromones not there. After all, there's also a Vulcan telepathic bond to contend with, that Mindel may not have been counting on...
And I hope that cold SOB dies for what he's done and is about to do.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review and thank you for caring about my characters. That is one of the things that is scary when creating OCís and Sen/Alawa are probably my two most original and in depth that I created so far. You will see some unexpected and twisted revenge coming.
Date: 08 Jan 2010 17:16 Title: Money Take, Freedom Forsaken
Well, I'm glad to see that Alawa herself turned out to be alive and of a good nature, and that she's got a good education...but I'm definitely worried for her and Sen now!
I'm a little leery of Sen's idea to actually JOIN the Federation, though. While it sounds good on the surface, I think there should be a way to benefit from an alliance without actually being absorbed...
Author's Response: Thank you. You will see quite a bit of growth from her and Sen. Both tend to bring out the best of each other. What I have in mind for the Federation is much like what the movies and TNG did with having just like you said an alliance where their military vessels guard their turf but allow Federation vessels access.
Date: 05 Jan 2010 22:00 Title: Etiquette Challenged
Whoever said Rishley is El-Aurian, I'm definitely throwing my vote with them.
Author's Response: Thanks NG. EA is an interested choice but the clues are in the slave scene and note where they say Mutt is from.
Date: 04 Jan 2010 19:18 Title: Sarek Versus Kirk
Hm...I think we need to be making progress in the plot pretty quick now, because it's starting to get bogged down in the side stories and romances to where I find myself forgetting the main plot.
I think what I'm asking is this. Which IS the main plot--the romances, or the worldbuilding and interstellar politics? I'm finding that you almost have two different books going on here.
Author's Response: Thanks NG. Actually it is EVERYTHING. This will all come together. Some Sen/Alawa mystery will soon be solved with revelations as to what she really is and what Spock/Uhura saw on the video. In the past Iíve actually been told I have too fast of a pace so Iíve slowed it down. The main plot will be the peace talks and how they will deal with everything that is to come. Trust when I tell you that even the most insignificant detail can have a major effect. By the time Iím done, I think this story will be about 200K words at least.
Date: 29 Dec 2009 14:56 Title: Peace Through Superior Weaponry
Oh and I should also have stated that the use of uhura here is excellent. Far more than in the new movie she has been shown to have abilities and skills. Not just to be inferred as in the movie [I suppose time and script constraints] but you ellaborate on her efforts to translate and help Kirk and Spock out. Thumbs up on that front.
Author's Response: Thank you. I loved classic and new Uhura. I like how they added to her stuff in the movie. Yay Ė Womenís lib and I thought it would be a nice addition to have her interested in culture as well.
Date: 29 Dec 2009 14:53 Title: The Dawn of Autumn
Well I think it is a fair point to not redo Amanda, especially so early on in the NuTrek timeline. It would not fit to do that sort of jiggery. Autumn strikes as a very novel character and I like how you somehow created a logical chef to a certain degree. Ha! A very interesting courstship that adds another layer to the plot when all the pieces come to be on the one ship together.
Author's Response: Thank you. I love Sarek and I wanted him to have a chance at courtship but with a lot of complications: age and a different personality. The personality I wanted to be different than Amandaís serenity from TOS with I loved but I just had to do something different. More to come on Chef Beaumont.
Date: 29 Dec 2009 14:44 Title: Peace Through Superior Weaponry
Oh troubling events appear to have happened offcreen. where exactly is Alawa? Is this merely a marriage of convienence for plotical purposes? has Alawa been despatched by an outside body? Does this support the reasoning for the inclusion of Dr. M'Benga among the party? Is their some sort of unrest at work within the Empire?
The tactics employed to destroy the Gorn vessels appears very underhanded and sneaky - quite Romulan then - but one wonders about the motivation of it all. And Zeilpe now has his own ship. Hmm ... maybe Sen is placing someone he trusts in a key position or perhaps there is more afoot than what we know.
Author's Response: Thank you. As you can see, I love political intrigue so get set for a very tangled web that will make sense as it goes. I thought about doing a new OC for a doctor but then I remember MíBenga and I liked him but he just didnít get enough screen time but not to worry. He wonít upstage McCoy but kudos to you for picking up on his Ďspecialty.í The backstory to Sen/Alawa will slowly unfold over the next few chapters. In later chapters, youíll see the events surrounding the occurrence but from their perspective. The Gorn seemed like a logical choice for an enemy.
Date: 27 Dec 2009 18:03 Title: Peace Through Superior Weaponry
Oh, NO...Alawa really did die? That really, REALLY sucks. :-(
And that's also very tragic to think of the Vulcans that will die because of their refusal to take other mates. Not to be crude, though, but something tells me that the Vulcans would be unwilling to lose that genetic inheritance and would require sperm samples of the unmated men. That may also explain why some of them are willing to allow themselves to die of Pon Farr rather than find some way to alter themselves to not experience it anymore.
I shall be very interested to see the negotiations and the role that Rishley might play.
Oh, and I like seeing Uhura in the more capable, intelligent role she was portrayed in AOS (as opposed to TOS...though of course I must give credit to many novel-writers and fanficcers for setting a precedent of Uhura as a highly-educated linguist and cultural specialist more like what Hoshi Sato was written to be instead of a glorified secretary/switchboard operator).
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. More to come because I take my cue from soap operas and no one does suspense better than they do. I think I might take your suggestion on that. To alter themselves would lose that intangible something and be very un-Vulcan. However considered their depleted population, sperm samples wouldnít be so far-fetched and very LOGICAL. While I donít know the idealogy behind, in TOS despite their technology, they never really said why they donít get rid of itÖ.so I hesitate. Yes Ė so agreed. Even though back in the 60ís Uhura was way far ahead of how African Americans were portrayed in the media, in this generation it is the ST2009 that defines Uhura in a way that I love. So to TOS credit is due for having Uhura that way. In Next Gen and such, they could have broke new ground by having a strong gay character but anything I saw despite the media hype fell short. Thatís why I added Zelipe who will show some character later on.
Date: 26 Dec 2009 05:08 Title: Greatness
Well I am only too delighted to see you focus again on Sen and Alawa and the Uhaii. Terrific world building going on, with the life of the Uhaii explained through the life of Sen's upbringing. It made for some very interesting life stories - the Reman chapter in particular striking. The whole effect was very rounded and within tone and keeping with the characters and society you are creating. All very effectively realised. To return the Remans, it is a giant stride forward the improvements Sen makes to their lives and it makes me wonder where he is headed with their inclusion into the wider society of Romulus. And where their loyalty can be expected to Sen after his actions on their behalf it is harder to anticipate the large ramifications within the Senate and Romulan society. But he s taking baby steps - albeit massive improvements to their lives. It sets up an enthralling political and sociological situation on Romulus and I'm eager to discover where this is headed.
Author's Response: Thank you so much youíve inspired some more in me to do some more politics and revisit that area. As I wrote this, the Remans were what I wanted the pinnacle of Senís training to be: standing up intellectually to his teachers, wanting to learn his lessons instead of taking the easy road, inspiring his Uhaii guard to want to suffer with him since he never ordered them to, show his fortitude both mentally and physically in continuing with the work, breaking down a hatred barrier with the Reman leader, understanding the suffering and in the end having a good attitude about it.
Date: 24 Dec 2009 21:06 Title: Greatness
Very well done...I LOVE the look into the upbringing Sen and the Uhaii, and how the loyalty was created in them.
The nobility of the ideals with which the Praetor was raised came as quite the surprise--but I find myself wondering why the very same ideals do not bring Sen to REALLY want to undo the injustices he sees, though he's made some nice gestures so far.
I wonder, maybe the events with Vulcan will provide the impetus?
Author's Response: Thank you. Iím glad you like my world and agree that this would bring about the loyalty of the Uhaii and the good leadership capabilities of Sen. For the injustices, Senís plan will be revealed but he really does see the injustices and wants to rectify them but thereís a reason heís taking things slowly. Based on you and Mirandaís reviews Iím going to add another political chapter to show the ramifications. I love politics and spy stuff and low and behold Trek fandom seems to be where itís at.
Date: 23 Dec 2009 08:57 Title: Mutt and the Addle Brained Vulcan
Not sure yet what to make of Rishley. I'm thinking that he might be El Aurian with his neutrality and no home world but I am sure I am missing something else. Still he strikes as an intriguing character.
Mind I found the character of T'Pyre to utterly and entirely fascinating. Again, I'm impressed by your OCs and I love the deadly but small blade that is T'Pyre. Her history is a brutal one and I'd love to hear more of her time with the Klingons. No chance of some flashbacks eh?
Terrific expansion on this tale. Some new characters and a new plot thread to follow. It should make for some interesting reading. An ominous warning about the last praetor and war - a mystery as to what it all means and how war will come about. Just what is this device? Very effective hooks to keep us reading. Kudos.
As for the Cardassians, if you mena to say the canon meeting of them, remember it is AOS so things are different and Uhura did order a Cardassian Sunrise in the film. Might I also direct you to Nerys story by the same title Cardassian Sunrise - an AOS story that is terrific.
Author's Response: Thank you. Rishley is something you may not expect Ė more of his story will be revealed but it is kind of dark and his has some notable flaws which will counteract his exceptional merit. Both are hinted at in the scene where he is an Orion slave Ė by physical description, where he was found and the gibberish he spouts. Once his tale is told it will completely come together. TíPyre Ė Iím so glad you love her. I wanted to show that not all Vulcans are tall, super geniuses and completely telepathic and docile. She went the exact opposite and the Klingons ended the docile but she did state her conditions and you can see she still has loyalty to Vulcan since it really did upset. FlashbacksÖ.some ideas forming on that. Can you see some fun when she meets the Uhaii? The Cardassians Ė just a warning for Nerys. They were great topographical bad buys.
Date: 23 Dec 2009 08:24 Title: For Whom the Bells Toll
I warmed more to the relationship between Spock and Uhura in this chapter - partly because of the sensitive and touching manner of the blended wedding. Kudos for that.
As for Spock's sister clan's eccentricities, I'm thinking that this is indeed the clan from which Sen's mother came from. It seems to fit his personality and traits. I know that Nerys in her review mentioned Asberger's as a possible Vulcan like syndrome. Personally, I think the various 'eccentricities' the clan displayed are more than just limited to that - rather encompass many of the different traits and behaviours across the Autistic spectrum. Regardless of attempts to find an Earth/human parallel, with such an intellectual and cerebal race as the Vulcans it is hardly surprising to see certain traits and behaviours manifest and be evident. So I wonder else this will mean for Sen?
Author's Response: Thank you. I very much wanted to show Nyota not being overshadowed so much by Spock because thatís how I feel it is in the movie. Yeah Ė a convert. Thatís right. It is Senís clan as well and heís inherited the good with the bad. With it, I wanted to show some variances in the Vulcanís because wellÖlikening it to humans, many times geniuses either creative or intellectual have their quirks at least from my observances. However, Vulcans have focused so much on intellect that the average Vulcan would be a genius by human standards. That made me think well what would a Vulcan genius be like. We have Spock and his only flaw is that he doesnít have that intuition like Kirk has but still he is a stunning and admirable character that I adore.
Date: 23 Dec 2009 08:09 Title: The Twelve Days of Courtship
Well if I am honest, the return to the NuCrew in the story jarred me a little. I guess first off I'm unused to reading AOS trek fanfic and particularly Uhura/Spock shippings. With that said, the courting of Uhura by Spock was nice and humourous and a different take/approach to things. Again, I found the relationship and the humour jarring - particularly as in TOS the humour with Spock tended to come via his interactions with Kirk and/or McCoy. Never the less you attempt to create a real relationship between the pair. Although the nerd thing made me think more of 'The Big Bang Theory'.
But if it sounds like I am beating up your writing - I am not - merely I'm still trying to get my head around the AOS characters and relatiosnhips. But additionally, and more importantly, I just love your riginal Characters. To me your OCs are more fascinating than the treatment of the AOS characters and I can wait to see more of them. Not to mention, the relationship between Alawa and Sen strikes me as more touching and real the way you have written them.
Author's Response: Well thank you. I donít mind you saying that at all and no offense is given where none is taken. Iím glad you like my humor in the Spura relationship. That is one of the differences I liked with ST2009 as opposed to the original series. I am trying to avoid the old TOS humor in such away that Iím not replicating it but paying more of a homage to it. I love the Big Bang Theory and Sheldon is my fave. I adore him to death. He inspired Sen and the entire sister clan. The fact that you love my OCís has inspired me so much. That has inspired several more chapters and more storylines within this one. If youíre into HP you may like my OCís in the Dramione children and a very unique teenager that Lucius adopts into the family once heís had a journey of reform.
Date: 21 Dec 2009 22:51 Title: For Whom the Bells Toll
Hm...it almost sounds like in the males of the clan, you're describing something like Asperger's Syndrome, though certainly not identical to that.
The marriage and bonding scenes were quite nice...most stories that I see with interspecies marriages don't seem to have a blend of traditions (see Jadzia's wedding, or Lwaxana Troi's weddings), but seem to be forced to go one way or the other. Vulcans in particular are usually shown to be totally uncompromising. To see both sides honor each other's customs--quite refreshing.
It does also help with some of the problems inherent in a superior-subordinate relationship, seeing the families act this way. I still don't approve because I think it is inappropriate for her to be a direct report of his in any form or fashion...but that did help a bit for the purposes of YOUR story.
Author's Response: Thank you. When I saw your review, I googled Aspergers, yes similar but this was more inspired by something more of a flaw/merit where that merit of being super smart is paired with eccentricities. Plus sometimes it seems that genius prodigies have peculiarities. But truly, I like a little weirdness in my OCís sometimes. Iím so glad you liked my marriage. I wanted it to reflect them as a couple that yes Ė Vulcan customs will be followed but she will not be overshadowed by them. Thank you for pointing out those weddings. Iíd forgotten how it had been done. Plus yes I wanted to lighten the subordinate role. On the bridge, she reports to him but off the bridge she stands eye to eye. Again, I truly appreciate your support in my Trek FF endeavors.
Date: 20 Dec 2009 21:00 Title: The Twelve Days of Courtship
The Spock/Uhura relationship as portrayed in Trek XI is STILL one I have a lot of trouble finding appropriate, given the power differential between a teacher and a student.
Plus I'll admit, I'm one who tends to skip past the sex scenes.
That said, the whole scenario with Kirk delivering the courtship gifts, and the kitten, was great. (And the kitten is also quite appropriate considering Uhura's reaction to tribbles in TOS!)
Author's Response: Thank you. Actually, I think it the teacher student thing was an unfortunate circumstance but that there was such a deep devotion that they couldnít keep away from each other. Uhura not intimidated by him at all. Plus Iíve always wanted someone for Spock because he wants and needs that unlike Kirk whoís only after skirt. The courtship was my comedy. There are so many fantastic Spura origin stories that I couldnít write any better so I chose their courtship. Yup Ė Iím a Spura shipper. Tribbles another of my faves.
Date: 20 Dec 2009 20:59 Title: The Last Praetor
As a fellow world-builder, I really love what you're doing here with the Romulans...you seem to have the same kind of love for them that I do for the Cardassians. :-) You seem to have taken the best of the Roman influence in TOS, the Rihannsu influence from Diane Duane's works, the Chinese influence from Nemesis, and Trek XI to come up with an amazing world for the Romulans!
Sen himself is quite likeable as well--but he really seems like he could be in a LOT of trouble if his Vulcan heritage becomes known...or if he finds himself straying into any sort of unorthodoxy. As for Alawa--it does seem, as Miranda says, that she COULD be a danger...on the other hand the question is whether she leads him into unorthodoxy, or whether she's intended as part of a political snare. This whole setup where now her life seems threatened COULD be like the act Dukat would arrange with his mistresses, or it could be genuine. I'd like to hope it's genuine because I think Alawa comes off as a very interesting character and in such wonderful defiance of the "Orion animal woman" stereotype...but there's definitely a threat here, that's for sure!
Author's Response: Thank you Ė my second review YAY! Yes Ė I am very fond of Romulans because I am fond of Vulcans as well. Actually, they are number one in my heart. Also with Romulans, so little is seen that I feel like I can really expand like you do with the Cardassians. My inspiration for world building comes mostly from Frank Herbertís Dune because like Trek he goes into so much detail. My only problem with Trek is the lack of continuity. In my HP Dramione series, I did an outline to ensure continuity even if I stopped at any point in the stories. Thank you for noticing the anti-stereotype in Alawa. That is where I like to create characters because a stereotype IMHO is laziness on part of the writer where they essentially take an already written character and give them a name. Personally, I love quirky. For Non Trek characters, one of my faves is Monk. For writing, I actually like to create a character using RPG standards and how they were raised. I hope you will be surprised when her story comes out.
Date: 19 Dec 2009 09:33 Title: The Last Praetor
Very impressive story. I actually hope that there is more to come of Sen's story and Alawa. His mixed heritage makes him a character that is defined by his home planet's culture - Romulan - but his Vulcan heritage tempers it and adds a certain inner confliect and outward motivation. Like the Spock character is makes for a compelling character who can react in so many different and unexpectant ways. Sen has managed to bridge the different aspects to his birthright using his Vulcan mind disciplines to hone and forge his keen Romulan mind, tenacity and ability to politic and scheme. He appears to be a benevolent future leader with a lot of promise and many different skill sets. He could be a formidable leader of the Romulan Empire. Mind you, his father posits a dark and stark possibility that everything may come crashing down before that ever comes to pass.
I really like the feel and tone of the story so far. The world building, the descriptions, the social etiquette all feels very Roman and reads almost like the Colleen McCollough's Masters of Rome series. You give the sense of an ellaborate and detailed world but without laborious detail that bog down the story.
The training, purpose and motivation of the Uhaii are a prime example of this sense. It is also a striking body of people and I liked how you framed them and ellaborated part on their origin in terms of Sen and their motivation. If anything, though understandably the story is coming from the perspective of Sen, I'd love to see more from one of the Uhaii and learn more about the individuals and their training and life.
I'd alos like more ellaboration on Alawa. So far she remains a creature of mystery and awe using her 'beguiling' ways to win affection and support. Something almost 'smells' fishy about her - but i imagine the smell id far from unpleasant and rather somewaht more exotic and alluring. Pheromones per chance? She is using to win people over? The real question is whether she is good intentioned as it seems and possibly one of Sen's greatest strengths or is she there to ensnare Sen in some scheme or trap? I can imagine things going either way. In one way, I can imagine the two of them rising in power and influence with Alawa maybe even using her guile to give support and guidance in a secretive fashion to Sen, not so much a power behind the throne but an almost partner in terms of weilding power and influence.
The sense of politic and world you've created is quite effective and simple as it has easily absorbed me and intrigued me. It has filled my head with the possibilities of where this tale could go and I'm hoping for more.
Author's Response: Thank you x a billion. You are my first reviewer and I am so knew to this site. Yes, I wanted to give them their own culture but somewhat based in Vulcan to show their ancestry but unique to show the divergence that has taken place since. You guessed it. I love Rome. While I havenít read any fiction about Rome, I have studied the non fiction quite a bit and loved it. Some folks forget that many of the dictators (though Iím all for democracy) actually ran things quite well. Also, to have a thriving culture such as they do, they couldnít be completely barbaric. The dichotomy is exactly where I want to be. Spock has always been my favorite character and in a way I wanted Sen to be cut from the same cloth but a quirky individual. As a writer of fanfic I tend to shy away from OCís because its hard to create one that anyone likes when there are so many great ST characters. Sen and Alawa are my foremost OCís and there are some more to come. Based on your review, I will incorporate an Uhaii chapter into the story to give more of their training and background and a sort of day in the life of. It will be half comedy and half dark action. Thank you for the kudos on them. Honestly, being new to Trek FF, I worried about how my ideas on this would translate to Trek even thought Iím a huge fan. Yes, Dai poses a threat but based out of an old school way of thinking which I will also add. However, the one thing that Sen has going for him is that his father lost all hope of having a son since he didnít have Sen until the age of 153. Needless to say, Sen gets a little spoilt. Alawa Ė I actually have a chapter devoted to her in process. Her background has been mentioned but I will elaborate more. The skin tone and such are indicators of sorts. Yes Ė she has the pheromones that are a wee bit different. Politics Ė Actually, I plan to expand on that because I really like political and spy intrigue. The basis of that coming from Jack Higgins who is the master in my opinion. Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. You gave me some ideas.