Date: 07 Mar 2010 07:14 Title: Chapter 1
Wow. Thoroughly impressed by how much this read like a condensed episode of Voyager. The characters are spot on in their mannerism, their patterns of speech and in terms of how they moved and acted. For example Janeway moving around the briefing room. So an excellent portrayal of the characters. You've focused on one of the factors that troubled Janeway more than the likes of Sisko, the Prime Directive. Janeway tends to get short thrift from many quarters; but in universe, the truth was her abilities to as a captain were always compromised by being in the Delta Quadrant but she nevertheless was a stalwart leader and commander. Form the realworld perspective there was a degree of inconsistency in how she was written - the degree to how inconsistent can be argued - but there were some inconsistencies. I feel though that you got to the crux of the character and have a real touch and feel for the character that any line you deliver with her is consistent and brilliantly realised. The fact that you picked up on her friendhsip with Tuvok and how she would want to court his approval as much as she would want Chakotay's as First Officer is telling of that fact. It was soemthing all too often overlooked by the writers and yet as this tale proved is a rich source of story telling and character interaction. Great stuff and structure with the story broken up with great picks of Prime Directive excerpts and related literature. A very Trek like episode too dealing with the hard choices, putting captain against the Prime Directive and making them choose the best of two wrongs.
Author's Response: Thanks! I was going for the "gray areas" re: Prime Directive and how far a captain must go to obey this, even at the expense of his/her own sense of right and wrong. The contrast between the Kirk and Picard eras in terms of their adherence to this principle is tremendous; I've always felt VOY was a lot closer to TOS in terms of captains taking matters into their own hands as they saw fit. And yet, Janeway still *was* very much constrained by the dictates of Starfleet, despite her ship's physical distance and the very real possibility that it would be years, if ever, before she was actually called to task for any decisions. The Janeway-Tuvok friendship is one of my favorite relationships; I'm glad this worked for you.
Date: 10 Jul 2009 23:19 Title: Chapter 1
I thought the dialogue was rather crisp, and I don't really like Voyager. I felt like this could have made a decent episode with some tweaking, but this is a decent premise that has merit. I have to agree with Mistral's comments regarding the depth of Janeway's response did feel somewhat thin, and I thought perhaps that there might be more to her in this story.
I felt like your prose was quite excellent. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: This was one of my older stories that I decided to post here, and I do agree with both your and Mistral's comments about needing something more re: Janeway's motivations and response to the situation. Thanks for the thoughtful feedback!
Date: 22 Jun 2009 12:48 Title: Chapter 1
I'd like to know more about the consequences of her decision. It seemed like there might be more going on below the surface but you wrapped this pretty straight-forward. It almost felt like there should have been something more.
Author's Response: That's a good point you've brought up. My feeling is that there were no actual consequences for Voyager in this instance--they basically waltzed in, saw a problem, decided to get involved, did so in a limited fashion and then went on their merry way. The two warring cultures on the other hand can't just walk away so easily and are most likely going to be dealing with escalating problems and war--and Voyager will be long gone. (Part of the rational for having a Prime Directive, perhaps?) The only consequences Janeway will be dealing with, and is probably thinking of, is what Starfleet's reaction to her intervention will be. But that's a long way off for her, at present. (or perhaps ever). Thanks again for your thoughtful feedback.