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Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 19 Jan 2021 14:15 Title: Act Four

Somber fare. But a good description of a New Orleans wake. 64 billion - I assume that's not counting the borg?

Thanks!! rbs



Author's Response:

No, that's just casualties from the Federation, the Klingons, the Romulans and non-aligned worlds. Aside from the drones that were killed in battle, the Borg didn't die per se - they were "transformed" and went elsewhere. That's part of what's feeding people's angst - there was no commensurate body count, and no-one left to get revenge on. It's all in the last half of season 12! -MD

Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 18 Jan 2021 10:30 Title: Act Three

Nice bit of hot yoga and grab ass - something we didn't get in the original show to my recollection. Fun.

Good use of the flashback as a storytelling device. 

I am hearing Avery Brooks delivering these lines - getting the actor's voice to come throgh is critical when writing series characters into fanfics.

The tension wiht Tenmei in denial is fairly standard Trek fare.

Thanks!! rbs

Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 15 Jan 2021 14:12 Title: Act Two

Fairly classic DS9 character treatments for OC characters. And a somber time was had by all...

I appreciate the character descriptions provided in response to my comment. You might consider appending some sort of standard, copied descriptions below the tease as a kind of opening credit roll for readers. TV shows do that with face-shots and name tags.

I did something similar for every episode of Star Trek Hunter - not descriptions of the characters but an org-chart of the STH crew placed after the opening scene(s).

If I were writing in a format that did not allow me to occasionally tell you that Lt. Tauk is ferengi or Napoleon Boles is half-bolian, half human, I would have included that information in my credit roll.

Thanks!! rbs

Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 14 Jan 2021 16:23 Title: Act One

Enjoyable interaction between Tenmei and Candlewood. One of the drawbacks of this format is that it is difficult to picture any of the characters other than the series regulars as the format doesn't present a lot of opportunities to remind the reader what these original or walk-on characters look like. 

Interesting ploy by Jake. Psychological tricks generally don't go down well with family no matter how well intended.

Thanks!! rbs



Author's Response:

Prynn Tenmei - Caucasian / Japanese human female, Defiant's helm officer (picture somebody like Ally Maki)

John Candlewood - Jewish human male, gay, DS9's (current) science officer (picture maybe Jesse Eisenberg)

They and Nog are basically best friends, so they can get away with stuff with each other that others couldn't :-) 

Also it wasn't really meant to be a ploy by Jake exactly, just that things happened and they weren't prepared for it

 

-MD

Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 13 Jan 2021 15:51 Title: Teaser

Nice teaser. Definitely has a classic DS9 open feel to it. 

Now that I am more accustomed to this format there is some appeal to its lack of internal dialogue, often overused in prose.

Thanks!! rbs

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