Date: 28 Sep 2020 14:47 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 13
I like the soloquay on nostalgia - an emotion that I consider obsequiosly poisonous. Always good to see a character mistrusting it.
Also an interesting echo that romulans are sensitive to color.
A long chapter that covers a lot of territory, but a compelling read. You're definintely building a page-turner here.
And once again, nothing good comes from trusing Jarik...
Date: 21 Sep 2020 13:48 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 12
Evidently overconfidence is not exclusively a human weakness. Planetary based weapons don't have the size and energy limitations that ships have. Interesting tactical situation.
The local politics are equally interesting - romulans as puppets to the nybarite. Now that's interesting.
And another cliffhanger..
Author's Response: Sentinel Culsten clearly has some major shortcomings. The Nyberrites clearly are a formidable enemy if they have the proud Romulans in their pocket. Same goes for the Klingons and many other races. Think of them like the Borg minus the cybernetics.
Date: 14 Sep 2020 12:49 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 11
Always controverial and fun when a captain leads a dangerous away mission.
Nice summation of the different Michael Owenses and almost a foregone conclusion they will come into contact. It looks like our Eagle came from a universe with a highly stressed UFP into a universe with a UFP pretty much in tatters.
Always very interesting to see different takes on the UFP - almost a end-of-empire vision. Which tracks with the UFP's birthpllace - the USA during the height of the Pax Americana.
Author's Response: Yeah, the foreshadowing is fairly obvious here, isn't it? If nothing else, there are a lot of different UFP flavors in QD.
Date: 07 Sep 2020 12:33 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 10
Having aliens mangle our human aphorisms never fails as a comic device. A good quick transitional chapter reintroducing and recapping the subspace ring/particle collider, ender of universes and reinforcing some of the ideas about the structure's purpose.
With a classic mysterious cliff hanger.
Author's Response: I just cannot help myself with these cliffhangers, as you no doubt have been able to tell.
Date: 31 Aug 2020 13:44 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 9
Like Sliders, it seems the Eagle keeps jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Each universe seems worse that the last - at least for the Federation.
But that's why dysopic fiction sells so well... People under pressure...
It's an interesting storytelling technique - having to deal with multiple versions of yourself and your friends, pretending to be someone who looks just like you without knowing what they know...
Author's Response: There is no denying that alternate universe stories are really quite popular at present. Much more so than I realized when I was envisioning this one. But it's also true that there is a lot of fun in getting to see all these different versions of the essential the same characters. Yes, that is certainly a key theme in this story. The idea of confronting people you know, maybe even yourself, but different because circumstances were different or they made different decisions in their lives.
Date: 24 Aug 2020 01:28 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 8
Now this is an interesting wrinkle.. It looks kind of like something that was the Federation isn't and something that wasn't the Federation is - if only a little.
It's interesting that Lif has such admiration for her and perhaps underestimates himself. It looks like he has a lot to learn about his own potential from this new version of Lif (and in retrospect from the previous one.)
And Garla is making another rash decision. Even as she has realized how easily she had been deceived by the subspace aliens, it doesn't seem she has learned much from that yet. The young learn quickly and the old are often slower to learn...
Very interesting chapter and even moreso because there isn't a single human in it. Something Star Trek rarely did but that made Babylon 5 pop pretty much every time they did it.
Author's Response: The fact about no humans is an interesting one I hadn't consciously considered, probably because the Krellonians are clearly an analogy for humans. But it does bother me a bit that Trek is always so human-centric considering that the Federation has supposed to be over 150 members in 24th century. I understand why it is made that way, and I often fall into that trap as well when writing, but in an age were diversity has become such an important part of our society, I feel Trek has missed a trick in that regard.
Date: 17 Aug 2020 13:29 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 7
Not sure whether this part of the story could be called the mismanagement of multiple Mayas or the Stars are not in alignment...
And the captain has a glass jaw. Actually, the trope of the hero who can take one punch after another is so worn out that it is rather refreshing to have a captain go down with a single punch.
And the United Federation of Planets apparently divided... Does that make one faction the Confederation of Planets?
I'm hoping we find out what that conflict is about before we exit this universe...
Author's Response: I want to give Owens credit here. He can probably hold his own in a fight. But I guess he didn't see that sucker punch coming. More info will be forthcoming, I promise. Thanks for the ongoing reviews. As always, much appreciated.
Date: 09 Aug 2020 01:18 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 6
And why do I have a feeling that the Lifs being together isn't going to end well...
Definitely keeping the mystery going and a good setup for some very interesting scenes to come.
I like Lif's concern about a jinx. I also like the other Lif's quick and accurate assessment of the situation. He is a nicely ambiguous character and nicely intelligent. Much better than an antagonist.
Author's Response: Thanks for that. Yeah, bad omens abound here, for sure.
Date: 04 Aug 2020 14:16 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 5
Actually, to a person with an admittedly armchair understanding of particle physics, the explanation of the Omega molecule and its potential effects - or at least the manufacturing process for it - sounded fairly plausible.
What advantage the destruction of universes would convey for subspace dwellers remains quite mysterious.
Double Tazla, double Culsten...
And a nice reflection on the origin of the conflict between Star and Nora.
Author's Response: Glad this made sense to you. To be honest, I had a far better and more intricate explanation for the potential death of a universe. I can't recall why it didn't make the cut. I think in the end, I wanted more action and less exposition. Although, there will certainly be more answers forthcoming.
Date: 27 Jul 2020 18:04 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 4
Oooh the plot thickens and a great cliff-hanger. Classic ending line.
Whoever the imposter(s) are, it seems they know an astounding amount about the situation on the Eagle. At the moment, I'm blaming Jarik. This is just the kind of dirty tricks SAI makes their stock in trade.
Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean it's our Jarik... Going to be interesting to see where you take this.
Author's Response: This is certainly going to complicate matters for Owens & company. Glad you are still enjoying this strange trip through the multi-verse.
Date: 19 Jul 2020 19:33 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 3
Yeah - Michael would have been better advised to trust his instincts. There was so much more they might have learned from Lif 2.0 - even a potential for parting on positive, if not friendly terms. At this point, confining Jarik to quarters would seem a reasonable precaution.
And Lif 2.0 is a very interesting character - svelt and suave. Lif prime could learn a lot of interewting things about himself just from watching video of this doppelganger.
I'm sure Jarik isn't finished making trouble...
Author's Response: I think Michael is giving this guy all this slack based on their previous friendship. After all, they were Academy roommates for 4 years or so. I think all that good will has finally run out (probably should have when he threatened to take over Eagle by force).
Date: 13 Jul 2020 15:07 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 2
This seems like a far more subtle and nuanced Lif Culsten than the two we've gotten to know. That is a really interesting feature. I'm interested to see how Lif prime is affected by exposure to alternative Lifs...
You have definitely outdone me in the destructiveness area - I have a character order the destruction of a world, but you've got an entire universe going up in smoke... Wish I had thought of that...
It looks like this timeline Federation hasn't fared so well.
Author's Response: Yeah, this will definitely have an noticeable impact on the young helmsman throughout the story. I think I went as big as one can with the idea of wiping out a universe. But then again, it's like that old saying goes. Kill m/billions and its a statistic, kill one and its a tragedy... Glad your still following this and enjoying the story. Also appreciate you going back and reading some of my older stuff. That's really cool.
Date: 04 Jul 2020 19:16 Title: Part 2 - Shattered: 1
Bensu is just not having a lot of fun recently. The destination makes sense. The Multiverse theory predicts that the vast majority of universes will be dead - either inimical to life or not providing a starting point for life.
Yet another Lif? Things are starting to get involved... Good cliffhanger - really looking forward to meeting this Lif.
Having read back through all of this, I'm going back to the beginning of the series.
Date: 04 Jul 2020 17:43 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 30
And nothing like a sacrifice ploy to conclude a hopeless battle... I remember liking this scene on the first read through. I liked the commentary about space battles rarely being fast and frenetic right before a fast, frenetic space battle. Space battles are particularly difficult to write. There difficult enough to bring to the screen. For the writer, just keeping the relative orientation clear is a challenge. Here it's easy to picture where each of the centers of action are and plot it out in 3 dimensions.
Date: 04 Jul 2020 01:28 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 27
Nothing like a prison riot for great visuals and a good escape scene. It looks like the niners are definitely earning their keep. I particularly liked the sequence with violet operating the prison controls through the wall. The quick kill of the prison administrator is another good moment - Han shot first!
Date: 04 Jul 2020 00:11 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 26
Spellchecker chews: Pp beginning "Then for the love of God.." I think you meant "uncomplicate" instead of "uncomplicated"
Pp beginning "After I had to fake..." I think you meant "intents" instead of "intense"
Date: 03 Jul 2020 23:48 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 25
And I recall the sort of rapproach between Lif and Garla - though I wasn't as faimiliar with their relationship. Both very well written characters - neither has the feel of a stock character.
Date: 03 Jul 2020 23:40 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 24
I remembrer this one strongly from my first read through. Michael's reaction to his father's condition is realistic without being overstated. It's always a temptation to make a meal out of such scenes.
Date: 03 Jul 2020 18:07 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 23
And Garla in the role of a frenemy... nice balance between the rescue and the betrayal. ANother classic "garden of forking paths" ploy and none the worse for wear.
I particularly enjoy writing speeches for my characters. It's a difficult thing to do - especially when it is deliberately formulaic political speech. It is a powerful storytelling technique - a speech can move the plot along in ways that neither action nor exhibition nor dialogue can. Alt.Garla's speech does that by conveying both current status and intent. And demonstrating that her plan has popular support.
Date: 03 Jul 2020 18:03 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 23
Spellchecker chews: Pp beginning "Garla was followed by a man..." I think you meant "none other" instead of "nonother"
Pp beginning "Tazla pulled free her phaser..." I think you meant "bead" instead of "beat"
Date: 03 Jul 2020 17:43 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 22
Sic semper psychoanalysts.. In scifi stories they rarely fare well. A reflection of a broadly held suspicion that most of them are just making wild guesses. Hard not to empathize with Laas' triumph. Nobody liks being psychoanalized and its worse when a telepath is involved.
Date: 03 Jul 2020 17:31 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 21
I definitely recall this one from my first read through - spooky visions and premonitions of things to come. Scenes that take place inside the characters' mind scape are difficult to pull off. This one worked because of the visual details and the Bensu dialogue.
Date: 02 Jul 2020 17:07 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 20
And alt-Lif is properly teased. Nice device with the holo-masks - wish I had thought of those... I'm a big nerd when it comes to alternate uses of the technology introduced in Star Trek. Also, very nice detail with the work lanes and the attitudes of the bears. And also Tazla having to do a quick think about the bears and overcome her initial inclination.
Date: 02 Jul 2020 16:38 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 19
Nice character exploration! This is the kind of thing that "garden of forking paths" stories excell at. Glad you took the opportunity to slow down and tell this story. It's good little stories that make for a good big story.