Date: 24 Jul 2013 03:40 Title: 'Welcome Aboard, My Young Kestrels'
McGregor's speech delights the crap out of me. It is grandious and a little goofball, but also decidedly badass. I still love Stanley. I adore the image of McGregor sprawled like that in his chair, too. It seems that is his own vantage to swoop some.
Knowing the man some better now, I wonder too if the object representation of the safest place in the universe for him. Because between the RR and the various freewrites, all that badass of his is real, but so to is the man quite human and capable of all the emotional hang ups the rest of us are. It makes me wonder if the Kestrel's center chair is where he feels the most right and capable of changing the universe as he can.
I also love the end with Molly and Gardner muttering what any engineer would have to working with McGregor.
Date: 24 May 2013 10:59 Title: 'Welcome Aboard, My Young Kestrels'
Argh! Too many character introductions, too many shifting POVs and some of these characters feel like caricatures especially Captain McGregor. That's more than just intimidation or rousing words on his part, he is a nutjob though his little speech so reminded me of Judge Dredd. I can so hear McGregor saying 'I am the lawww'.
But man it was so hard reading this chapter what with all the changing POVs. I get the sense you're rushing with the introductions and you don't really have to, you Cartwright, McGregor, Jex and Cutler as your starting main characters. I presume you are going to focus on them and introduce the other main characters in a more orderly fashion.
And it seems like Gardner could be the insider who is working for T'Hos Likk. I sense some very blood between Gardner and McGregor, cue McGregor being shocked, shocked at Gardner's eventual betrayal?