Date: 09 Jun 2015 09:27 Title: Chapter 1
This is so cute, and so true to the three of them. You really captured their voices well; the first section especially read like something I could have written myself: Maren's perfectionism and frustration, her quiet love for Icheb, and her easy banter with John. Icheb's confident command of the logistics of the situation, while being in slightly over his head when it comes to reading all the social cues. John's good natured pluckiness combined with his oft-bemoaned tendency to blush at the slightest hint of embarrassment ... that little bit had it all. It was like visiting with old friends, made even more fun because the interaction wasn't born from my own head.
The rest was good, too. The whole thing brought a smile to my face. But that first section? GOLD. Thank you so much!