Date: 18 Jul 2014 18:35 Title: Chapter 6
And now another passenger. Passengers can be more trouble than they're worth but the Klingon wannabe monk of course comes with lots of credit so it worth a bit. Course that means, he might just be lots more trouble to contend with. I do recall him being so but I forget his motivation so looking forward to that. Even without past knowledge, Kresh immediately struck as an intriguing character. A Klingon monk initially seems crazy but holds up as an idea actually and one that might 'honour' some aspects of the Klingon culture depicted in the show.
Telling that Lucas makes gut impressions and of course is cagey about his past being a known factor to anyone. Here, in this instance, it's to preserve a tactical advantage. Living the life he did, it would indeed be hard for Lucas to give that up.
How happy to see that Jodhaa is happy. She's about to embark on a new chapter of her life. Things are going good and she's got a crew around her. Of course, then Purmina seems to let herself down by being so open and trusting to the Klingon monk. Given her memory loss the woman ought to try to be circumspect and more careful about what she does. I've a feeling that may be a recurring issue with the green Orion.
Tabatha certainly knows about troublesome passengers, doesn't she? LoL
Lucas definiately has some good instincts. Comes from spending about half his life (give or take a few years) as a soldier. He's got to be good at reading the people and situations around him. Jodhaa has those instincts too, but they're perhaps not fully realized. Lucas can help her with that.
As for Purnima... yeah, the smart thing to do woulda been to call the boss before bringing some stranger onto the ship (she's certainly learned her lesson there!), But the way I pictured her in my head, she's both brilliant and incredibly naive. It has a lot to do with who she really is and what happened to make her lose her memory.
Date: 18 Jul 2014 18:24 Title: Chapter 5
Interesting times are around the corner. Things seem to be complicated for Lucas in his past and having Shaki around will probably only complicate matters going ahead, a very uncomfortable reminder of what ever went down. Meantime, as Lucas tries to forget his past he seems to be trying to ignore some of the present as there's an undeniable 'frisson' between Jodhaa and Lucas. If it can ever be anything more is another question. Sure is one way to make things complicated and messy. However, it certainly adds a lively spark to the crew dynamics. Great little world building aspects in here too and I particularly liked Jodhaa's trials trying to get a commercial license and get the business up and going. Her complete naiveity on the matter shows how much she was sheltered by being a part of the Étoile. Those matters probably rested on Beks or one of the others. Again, it shows the challenges and the growth for Jodhaa now that she's Starting Over.
Thank you so much, Fave! So happy you like my "world building" skills -- sometimes I worry I'm either putting in too much detail, or not enough.
Yeah, seeing Shaki wasn't entirely pleasant for Lucas. But being the professional he is -- not to mention good friend of the Andorian -- he put his discomfort aside and dealt with it. I'm fairly certain that over the four weeks Shaki was on the Lyriq, they got along just fine.
Yes, there is something between Jodhaa and Lucas -- perhaps subconsciously, they both sensed the deep pain of loss, the kind of heartache that never fully heals. Whether or not they can actually have something is still a question, you're absolutely right. I guess we'll see what else my Muse comes up with.
Date: 16 Jul 2014 22:06 Title: Chapter 4
An exciting episode at the end, showing just how Chvatal definitely has the propensity to get them into trouble. I've a feeling it won't be the last time. However, I like the fact that Jodhaa allowed her guard down enough to get the drop on. It didn't work out so good for her of course but it did serve to add these events to the proceedings but it also served to show some flaws in her and it also showed that she's got a big heart and isn't playing it all hard and moody. Instead, she's embracing her new life and her new friend too.
And then the Lucas stuff. Yes, he's a big gorram hero there at the end - but that's what he's trained to be. What impresses more in a way is the earlier exchange with Jodhaa about the state of the ship. He's shows his know how and how he is going to be of use to Jodhaa before he ends proving himself in other ways at the end. Telling too that she fessed up about how dire her monetary situation is and how much she sank into the boat. Shows too how important it is to her.
But in the end, it is time to go. The adventure is only starting.
Thanks again, Fave. Glad you're enjoying the story again.
I think it was actually a good thing that Jodhaa let her guard down a little. Such a thing has happened so rarely to her that it's a telling sign, I think, that she's starting to get over the pain of her loss a little -- though it's not likely to happen again anytime soon, at least not in public, so to speak. When they're on the ship, sure, she can relax. But out in the crowds on a space station or planet? Jodhaa will likely be extra vigilant, especially as I think Purnima reminds her of Rini.
Lucas definitely has the training to be a hero, something he's been in the past and will be again in the future -- saving people is his stock and trade. But as you noted, he also proved himself a knowledgable mechanic, which is something Jodhaa clearly needed.
And yeah, her boat is worth every slip of latinum to her. She has more fond memories of the class than bad ones. That boat is also not just her livlihood, it's her home.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 16:37 Title: Chapter 8
Oh, this was delightful to read! Truth is, I was waiting for a shoe to drop, and for Shaki to turn problematic.
I'm so glad that you've got a series in mind. It'll be great to see what else happens with these folks.
Nope, no problem with Shaki except that he was a bit of a thorn in Lucas' side - a reminder of the incident which led to his suspension form the Marines. Hoping to cover that in the next story.
Quite pleased that you not only enjoyed this story, but want to see more. Thanks so much for all your comments, I doappreciate them. Hopefully it won't he too long before I get the next adventure written.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 16:19 Title: Chapter 7
Okay, good, smart, plan, and it will answer a few questions rather neatly.
Heh, never trust a polite, clean Klingon, eh?
PS I also pull occasional stuff from Firefly - I agree, it can be hard to find civilian-style stuff in Trek (I have a series I've kind of dropped in favor of other things. Similar gang of 'big-time heroes' but they aren't cargo haulers. They're a barnstorming team).
Yep, it's looking like polite Klingons just can't be trusted, lol.
It would be awesome if there was more information on civilian vessels in Trek, but there just isn't. Thus, those of us with a penchant for featuring civvies in out Trek universe have to look elsewhere. I've also got another civvie crew I'll be writing about in the future on a ship borrowed from Star Wars.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 01:11 Title: Chapter 6
I like how the people keep assembling, although I have to say I'm getting kind of a reversed-gender Firefly vibe.
A big reason you're getting the Firefly vibe is because the Va'leh-class Mid-bulk Transport is a Trekkified version of that ship. When Miranda Fave and I were both developing the characters of our respective civvie crews and looking for ships, well... As any Trek fan knows, the choices for civvies is extremely limited. There aren't too many out there that have good pictures from Trek, and deck plans are almost non-existent. Anyone writing for a civilians on a ship in the Trek universe has almost no choice but to look outside the franchise for a ship.
Fave and I both are great fans of the show Firefly and the follow-up movie, and we were lucky to locate some great pictures and even some deck plans online (though quality pictures are definitely hard to find of the deck plans). We discussed what to call the class in the Trek universe, which species it would originate with, and settled on Va'leh for the class, as a nod to Serenity Valley, for which Mal Reynolds' ship was named. And as we agreed that the ship would be Andorian in origin, we decided that va'leh was an Andorian word for ... you guessed it: valley. After that, we both had a Va'leh-class ship.
However, unlike Reynolds and company, who had no problem smuggling or transporting for criminals, Jodhaa plans on running a legitimate business. Beks would skin her alive if she ever found out she'd flipped.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 01:03 Title: Chapter 5
... and more assembly of personnel. I definitely had the sparring sessions pegged as flirting; Jodhaa is in some deep denial there. And so is Lucas. But that is an awfully small ship if things do not work out.
It would be a bad thing if things don't work out, eh? I'm certain they will, but it's going to be a rough ride until they get to the point where they're willing to admit how they feel to themselves, let alone each other.
Thanks for the kind words, glad you are enjoying the story.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 17:41 Title: Chapter 8
Ah, no damsel in distress needing to be rescued here. Purnima knows how to handle herself.
And kudos to Jodhaa for standing up to the Klingon looking for his vengeance. A lesser person wouldn't have hesitated handing over the man who hijacked their ship and took them prisoner. Vernon pretty much owes her his life.
This was a great little story, showing that grand adventure can be had even among a civilian crowd of well meaning freighter jocks. And that you don't have to wear a uniform to be a decent and honorable person.
These three heroes make for a great team and I wouldn't be disinclined at all to read more about their adventures.
Nope, definitely not a damsel in distress our Purnima. Her having "moves" is just one of her little mysteries revealed.
I wouldn't doubt that if Jodhaa hadn't spent ten years under the tutelage of one of the best and most principled boubty hunters in the verse, she'd have been all for just getting rid of the highjacker. But having been mentored by Beks and being a licensed bounty hunter herself, she's a law-abiding citizen...even if the laws aren't those of her home government.
Thank you once again for reading the story, for all your compliments. I'm so pleased you liked this tale enough to want to see more of my trio of intrepid heroes. There are definitely more adventures to come.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 17:21 Title: Chapter 7
The inevitable betrayal. Never trust a polite Klingon is the lesson here.
Now it's time to take back the ship. I like the uncertainty about Purnima's allegiance but I'm pretty certain she remains on Jodhaa's side as well. I'm sure her amnesia is going to produce some surprises still, I just don't think this is going to be one of them.
Also never realized how easy people have it on Starfleet ships compared to old cargo haulers. I guess even I have started to take internal sensors for granted. Awesome little detail, as is their attempt to find Purnima's tricorder, which apparently it turns out is not that common outside Starfleet either.
My only nitpick here, and I had to look hard, are some of the long character monologues early in the chapter. I appreciate that they help provide needed character background but they feel a little too long and stilted.
Yeah, there are surprises in store where Purnima is concerned. I'm really hoping that the next story, where I'll be revealing some of her mystery, meets expectations.
I thought that detail about Lyriq not having internal sensors was a great idea, too. I figured older ships, aswell as the fact that it was built for civilian use and not military, would mean there would be distinct differences in technology. After all, not only does she not have internal sensors, but she has no replicator or transporter (all the deck layouts mentioned are taken directly from the Firefly-class deck plans; the tech, of course, Trekkified).
I will have to keep your points in mind; I really hadn't noticed the length of the interior monologues, I just knew that there needed to be some background to set the scene.
Thanks once again for the review, so happy you like the story.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 10:40 Title: Chapter 6
And this motley crew grows bigger even still. I like the fact that the newcomer is a Klingon monk. And it isn't really much of an oxymoron, after all we've heard about Klingon monasteries before. Not every Klingon is the empire is going to be committed to a life as a warrior.
Of course with Lucas' trouble-dar going off I can't help be suspicious of their latest passenger. Maybe he's not quite what he pretends to be. A wolf in the fold, as it were. Thankfully Lyriq's crew are no sheep and will know how to defend themselves if necessary.
Still really enjoying this story as well as your impeccable writing style.
Thank you so much! I thought the twist of the Klingon monk-in-training was a neat idea. Something we so rarely see in Trek, though as tou said, there's ca on proof that they exist.
Lucas' trouble-dar (love that, btw) is a throwback from his days as a soldier. Jodhaa has it too, but her horror is still recent in her mind, I think, and it doesn't help that she is still new to being the one in charge. This will serve as a great lesson for her -- though she did get on Purnima's case about not getting permission to bring Kresh on board in the first place. And yeah, these three are definitely not sheep!
Thanks much for the compliments!
Date: 13 Jul 2014 02:13 Title: Chapter 3
“Until recently, I was a lieutenant colonel in the Marines. And that’s all I plan to say on the subject.” Hmm, so there's more to Peck than meets the troubled past eye. You know, it strikes me here that all three of them are carrying around heavy weights that offer a semblance of who they are of some sentimental value. Chvatal has her incongrous wardrobe (a detail I just love), whilst Peck has his arsenal, meantime Jodhaa's is the ship itself. The Va'leh class represents a link to her past on the Etoile where she had family and a home. But rather than clinging to the past, she's kinda dragging something from her past with her as she strives to make her new life, just like Peck and to a degree Chvatal too.
Again, mysteries abound about our two new crew members and surely trouble will follow in their wake at some juncture. In the meantime, there's a ton of great banter and an easy way into knowing our characters who are forming neatly into a cast to populate stories.
Oh yeah, all three of them have their own form of baggage, that's for sure. Purnima has a past she can't remember, and Jodhaa and Lucas both have one they'll never forget. For each, and for different reasons, it indeed weighs them down.
I am glad you like the banter and how well they're getting along so far. It really is fun to write snark, which one can't always get away with when writing for a Starfleet crew. On a Federation ship, sure there's a time for it now and again, but those times are so few and far between. On a civvie ship, pretty much anything goes.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 02:05 Title: Chapter 2
So we learn Chvatal's name and the mysterious stack up surrounding her strange amnesia. As I say, it indicates bad things about who or where she came from. Meantime, I love the dynamics between naive, polite and sweet Chvatal and the more universe weary, jaded or at least skeptical Jodhaa. The odd partnership looked like fun and both of their characters lent us a neat way into this universe. Oh but wait, they're parting ways. Yeah right. But I like the natural feel of the situation and how Jodhaa after her kind act does leave Chvatal alone, cos in that kind of harsh world of the Borderlands that's what would likely happen.
Then onto the scene arrives Peck. A man with a troubled past me figures. Straight off, there's a fun spark between Jodhaa and Peck. Some might read more into than that, than I, not me, nope not at all... Should be fun seeing himsigned on to the crew because regardless he seems to have a knack for catching Jodhaa off guard. But will he bring trouble of his (gun arsenal packing) own? And once again, the issue of trusting strangers is brought to the fore. In her line of work, Jodhaa is faced with a lot of unknowns.
Yep, the mystery of Purnima remains a mystery, lol. As I said before, there's a story there, and more to come. But yeah, typically, Purnima woulda been left to fend for herself, because in the backwoods of the universe, it's survival of the fittest. I thought it would be very interesting to make Jodhaa and Purnima opposites - one innocent, one world-weary. This way we get two totally different perspectives on what they are going through.
Lucas and Jodhaa... yeah, I love the snarky spark between those two. They were fun to write. He's like Jodhaa in that he's somewhat embittered and jaded about the universe, based on recent experiences. Part of his backstory is revealed later in this story, but it'll be another one before other things come to light. As for his relationship with his new boss, it was quite the start and wont' always going to be smooth sailing, but I believe they are developing a mutual respect for one another.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 01:53 Title: Chapter 1
Awesome to see the Lyriq crew here on the Archive Cam at long last. Re-reading it is a blast because right out of the cage, there's plenty to love and to draw the reader in. The focus on two female characters, the civvie aspect to the Trek universe, a gritty underside to proceedings and lots of wicked cool dialogue. Of course, it helps that I know Jodhaa some so it adds an extra dimension knowing where she is coming from and how she is starting out and starting over.
However, I like the parallel here in that the OAW is similarly adrift and at a loss at this point in her life. For Jodhaa it's the tragedy of the attack and leaving her family and home of the Étoile and trying to start out on her own and forge her own path. But for the OAW it's down to a very strange case of amnesia that hints to all manner of suspicious origins to her background. Somehow I think Miss OAW is going to bring trouble down upon Jodhaa's head in lots of ways but in certain big ways down the line. Looking forward to all along the way.
Thank you for the welcome, Fave! So glad you are enjoying the story once again. I figured this was the best story to post firat because aome of the readers here are already familiar with Lyric's captain. Folks that remember her fierceness from "Dead or Alive" will see another side of her, or at least a start to her evolution from crew member to leader. I hope they hang around for the adventures yet to come.
As for my resident OAW, Purnima's amnesia has a reason behind it. I've had a plan for her from the beginning, and I can only hope that what I have in mind will be entertaining and enjoyable.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 01:39 Title: Chapter 5
Long chapter but jammed full of excellent dialogue and character moments. The will they or won't they dynamic of Lucas and Jodhaa, I assume, is going to play a central role in this story/series. Good, I like some well done sexual tension and this is off to a great start.
And now we get another crew member or passenger for this adventure? What are you trying to do here, get the full color spectrum? Shaki is an interesting addition even if he'll turn out as just a 'guest star'.
And yeah, a trip to Cardassian space in an unarmed freighter is going to be a great idea. Can't see anything going wrong with that.
I wasn't aiming for a full color spectrum, lol, just throwing a kink into Lucas's day with Shaki. He was created just for this story, but may appear as a guest again in the future, who knows? Whatever the Muse demands, I write.
As for the sexual tension between the captain and her mechanic... I honestly didn't start the story intending for there to be any hint of romance. But as I said, I go where the Muse takes me. As the writing went along and the history of the characters came to me, it just seemed natural for there to be some underlying tension and an attraction both are fighting to ignore.
Thanks once again for the review, I'm so happy you are enjoying the story.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 18:07 Title: Chapter 4
I wanted to comment because I took a look at the first four chapters (as for the next few chapters ... life is threatening to intervene) and I think this is a dynamic opening. The characters are well-drawn and interesting, and the premise is a good one.
Welcome to Ad Astra!
Thank you so much, Jespah! I realized just this morning that I'd signed up to Ad Astra a little over two years ago, and had never posted a story. I figured it was high time to do so, but decided instead of one of my many Starfleet crews, I'd go a different direction and start with the civvies. I know there really aren't too many writers writing about civilian live in the Trek universe, which is a shame. The regular, everyday folk shouldn't be forgotten. Not that I haven't written plenty of starship stories and the like, of course!
I also realized I had to fix chapter five, which some how was missing about two-thirds of it's content. Luckily it was an easy fix. Made sure to check every other chapter to make sure nothing was missing. Can't believe I hadn't noticed the who chapter didn't get posted. But it's all good now!
Thank you for the warm welcome! I'm looking forward to getting a few more stories posted here in the near future.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 16:57 Title: Chapter 4
Looks like crew dynamic and loyalty is not going to be an issue on this ship and thanks to Lucas's true aim, they survive their first crisis.
I like this bunch and I'm looking forward to see what kind of trouble they'll manage to get themselves into next.
Thank you so much, CeJay! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 16:38 Title: Chapter 3
Okay I obviously spoke too soon, Jodhaa did hire the clueless and yet no so clueless Purnima after all.
Her ongoing amnesia remains quite interesting and I wonder if we'll find out more about her past in this story and how she came to lose her memory.
And Lucas is a former Marine possibly trying to run from his past? Well I'm sure his skills will come in handy. He seemed pretty high ranking, too. I didn't peg him old enough to be a colonel.
Lucas is in his late 30s, and had just made lieutenant colonel before the "indefinite administrative leave" was forced on him. According to the time-in-rank chart I have, the minimum years of service required to reach that rank is 16, so his rank is appropriate.
As for Purnima, she learns a little about herself but remains, for the most part, a mystery. A more in-depth reveal of who she is is planned for the next story.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 16:24 Title: Chapter 2
Looks like Jodhaa's "feminine solidarity" only went so far. I halfway expected her to offer her a job or a place to stay until she got herself sorted out. Instead she took on Peck who seems to be made for the kind of life Jodhaa's promising. Right down to the arrogance that goes with a life of outlawing.
Something tells me we haven't seen the last of the green. And what's up with her having her own wardrobe she seems to carry around with her. Is it a portal to a land of wonder and magic?
The wardrobe has a purpose. Not in this story, lol, but in a later one, it will be revealed. Thanks for going on!
Date: 12 Jul 2014 16:08 Title: Chapter 1
I'm not usually a huge fan of reading about civilian Trek adventures but color me intrigued for this one. Pun intended. Amnesia always makes for a good mystery and of course it helps that your two protagonists so far are Orion ladies. Even if only one of them is an OAW.
Definitely curious to see where this is going.
Thanks so much for checking out the story. I hope you enjoy the rest of it!