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Reviewer: zeusfluff Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 May 2014 18:53 Title: Second half.

There’s a lot of action in this fic Mac. Although I could get into the characters head (Hooker), I felt that the action jumped around a bit. It felt a little disjointed at times reading both chapters. Despite that though, I could see through the eyes of (Hooker) and see all the action of the battle from him as if I was there. You’ve done a great job pulling this all together. Maybe you can flesh this out a little more. The ending feels like it could go on. But that’s just me. Thanks for sharing this.

Author's Response: It's alright. I was sixteen when I wrote these and now I'm twenty-eight so my writing style has changed. The series lasted all that time so hopefully if you stick with it, it'll get better :) My thanks for reading.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2014 17:35 Title: Second half.

(Hooker? Meant to ask was that a call out to TJ Hooker) Forgive my being remiss Mac, I thought I had started on the Raven series first episode but I see I haven't reviewed it. These stories are raw by comparison to your later writing where you allow yourself greater introspection and your skill at world building and atmosphere is allowed to be displayed. There's a ton of action here and it is all greatly rushed and manic. However, it does lend to the chaos of the battle and the frustrations felt by the various characters. The reslotuion to the Andromedians method of thought projection was funny and a bit clever too. Seeing Kirk pop up was a neat moment. But the last moment, is a little bit perturbing here - Did it scream? What? The station? Is there more to this than meets the eye?


The resolution is again very quick. There's a ton of stuff here that nowadays you'd definitely expand upon. However, the brisk style is commendable as you get through a lot of story in short order. In many ways, these are terrific outlines that could be enriched, expanded and ellaborated to give a fuller realisation of the stories. That's not to be dismissive of these, rather to see the merit of the story and also a sign of just where you are as a writer now too.



Author's Response: Thanks MF. I almost wish I could re-write the entire series but I don't have energy or time unfortunately. I take forever (it seems) as it is to write a story nowadays (Beverly Crusher Investigates#3 has been ongoing for almost a year I think). I know you're not being dismissive but this stuff was a kiddy thing, I was fifteen/sixteen when I started and they now are no more. God-willing, with LBD's help and others, I'll get Raven's 4-63 up in no time :) My thanks for reading.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 May 2014 17:29 Title: First half

(Hooker? Meant to ask was that a call out to TJ Hooker) Forgive my being remiss Mac, I thought I had started on the Raven series first episode but I see I haven't reviewed it. These stories are raw by comparison to your later writing where you allow yourself greater introspection and your skill at world building and atmosphere is allowed to be displayed. There's a ton of action here and it is all greatly rushed and manic. However, it does lend to the chaos of the battle and the frustrations felt by the various characters. The reslotuion to the Andromedians method of thought projection was funny and a bit clever too. Seeing Kirk pop up was a neat moment. But the last moment, is a little bit perturbing here - Did it scream? What? The station? Is there more to this than meets the eye?



Author's Response: No worries, part of me half wishes people wouldn't review because some of this stuff reads cringeworthy to me (being first written in 2002-04). Trouble is I've long lost the thread of these stories, what I was doing with them. As you say it's a bit thin on the ground. Later stories I did for Raven went a bit deeper. And yes, Hooker was TJ Hooker.

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