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Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:51 Title: Chapter 7

So, so sad.  If only they had realized the depth of her despair, and found a different way to help her claw her way out of it.

This story was profoindly sad, and touching, but I'm so glad you didn't go with a happy ending, for I doubt many of these end happily, whether the imagined stories of Orion slave girls in the Trekiverse, or the true-to-life stories of the victims of human trafficking in our world today.  Thank you for bringing this to light.



Author's Response: I wish she could have found what she needed to survive, but she didn't. Maybe by the time she was on the ship, the damage was done, and it was already too late. I don't know. I do know that it's a long road back for survivors, and they often have to fight very hard to really come back. Thanks for reading, and for the kind words.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:44 Title: Chapter 6

I must admit to inside information as to the identitu of the two attacking ships, and of the Tellarite ship that was destroyed.  And yet, this extra insight into Barin's plight at the hands of her captors makes her story all the more riveting.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:40 Title: Chapter 5

Yay!  Glad to see that she's gotten away but I can't help wondering, did she just trade one level of hell for another?  Only one way to find out...

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:36 Title: Chapter 4

I was stoked to see things go Barin's way for once.  Not that killing is good, but it was the only avenue open to her to escape the hell that had become her life.  And I see why she went for her 'master' first - didn't want to chance that he'd come around while she was dispatching the others, and do the same to her...or worse...

This is a gut-wrenching read, but so compelling that I just can't stop.



Author's Response: Exactly. I don't know what I would do in the same situation, but I think she reached a point where she just had to be sure it didn't happen again, however she had to make that happen.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:27 Title: Chapter 3

Man oh, I was really rooting for her to make it...hopefully the punishment won't be too brutal.

And I did want to clarify that my review of chapter two was in no way intended to be negative.  It's a testament to a good author who can bring these issues to light, and instill emotions of compassion and empathy in the reader.  You did that - in spades, my dear.



Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words, LBD. I didn't see it as a negative response, just an honest one. Sometimes, the things we encounter in life leave us unable to formulate any type of response. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: RogueJawa Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 19:18 Title: Chapter 7

This has been a beautifully written, painfull read. I was all set for "happily ever after", but the end went a very different direction from what I was expecting. Thank you, Gatekeeper, I enjoyed this series.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading, RJ. I went back and forth on giving her a happily ever after, but at the end of the day, it didn't seem true to the story.

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 14:42 Title: Chapter 7

Wow.

For as difficult a read as this turned into...and for how much I (and I think most everyone else) hoped for a happy ending...

This was probably the only way this could end for her. An insanely tragic story you created, one rooted in horrifying truth. It sounds so strange to say...but well done.

Author's Response: I wanted to give her a happy ending, too, and in fact, went back and forth for a few days on it, but I just got to the point that it didn't feel true to her story. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 14:31 Title: Chapter 5

Please tell me she got away safely...

The last chapter was brutal and left me in shock, so this was...a nice break. This whole story, though, is just...heart breaking and desperate.

Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 13:13 Title: Chapter 7

Blindingly decent work throughout and touching, hard and raw at once. No happy ending, what there had been snatched by cold hard reality.

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words, Mac. I wrestled with giving her a happy ending, but so often in life there isn't one, and it seemed truer to the story for it to end the way it did.

Reviewer: zeusfluff Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 12:19 Title: Chapter 7

So Barin was saved by Kirk and the Enterprise. Good. I'm glad she was saved. I was beginning to worry that she wasn't going to get away. Or that she'd be killed off before long.

Awesome ending to your series of ficlets Gatekeeper.

Thanks for sharing. :)

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 10:25 Title: Chapter 7

Oh, how terribly awful that last line is, how very tragic.  And yet, so believable.  

I'm sure it will stay with McCoy for life that he thought he had helped her and she couldn't be saved in the end.

RIP, Barin.  



Author's Response: Thanks for reading, kes. Poor McCoy, I am sure he will brood over this one for awhile, but doctors don't always win, unfortunately. Maybe now, Barin's at peace.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 09:18 Title: Chapter 7

Oh, man! But yeah, I see why you went there. It is not that easy, and a happy ending would have seemed all too pat. I'm glad you didn't shy away from showing something not so happy. Well done!



Author's Response: Thank you, Jespah. I went back and forth on the ending, but in the end decided that not every one survives, and we tend to hear less about the ones who don't.

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 08:56 Title: Chapter 7

Poor Barin that is a sad ending, It's a shame that McCoy couldn't help heal her soul.
Still you story telling of this sad dark tale remain believable and compelling throughout.

Congratulations on completing your TToT 2014 entry.

Author's Response: Thank you, FB. I'm sure McCoy is saddened that he couldn't help her, too.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 08:45 Title: Chapter 7

Ok, time for a more considered response. However, even with that intention it is hard to think what to say or where to start. The truth is it's been a hard read and you didn't promise a happy ending. And well, I kinda thought you were pulling the rug out from under our feet by providing a happy ending - no less than being rescued by the Enterprise! And the ficlets then being a part of Barin's log journal to help her process everything and then ...


... and then, my God that was brutal. It was sudden. It was out of left-field. It was ... well true to life sadly. It was horrid and hard hitting. ANd as much as I would have loved a happy ending, the truth of the truth is that such stories don't often have a happy ending. It's perhaps more true, more fitting, and of course in the end much more effective story wise to have this tale stay with the reader to offer the ending you did. Bravo on a brave choice and indeed the brave choices throughout to tell this tale. Supremely well done. And thank you for writing it.



Author's Response: Thank you, MF. I went back and forth on the ending for several days because in my mind, the bravest choice for her would have been to choose life, to do the hard work to heal, but she had just regained control of her own life, and yet she hadn't, and I can see where she might not be able to see that one day she would have it again, so she chose the only control she had at this moment. She couldn't control her life, but she could control her death.

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 08:41 Title: Chapter 7

Oh man! What a tragic end, but a truthful one. As Barin says, healing isn't that simple. You were very brave to take this through to its logical conclusion, as heartbreaking as it was. Well done for a dark story, well told. Hats off to you sir! :)

Author's Response: Thank you, CS. As much as I love the fact that Trek presented an optimistic view of the future, at least in its earlier iterations, I also can't help but think it couldn't all be that happy and bright.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2014 08:40 Title: Chapter 7

...

 

:speechless:

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 19:31 Title: Chapter 6

Well, that went about as badly as I'd feared it would.  I'm afraid to read tomorrow's entry to find out whether she ever gets a chance at owning her own life.



Author's Response: Thanks for reading, kes. Barin's story is not yet finished, so she hasn't had her final say, yet. Hopefully, she'll catch a break soon.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 19:27 Title: Chapter 6

And the escape is over. She picked the wrong ship and now all hope seems to be lost.



Author's Response: Her story is not yet finished. Let's see how it all unfolds tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 19:25 Title: Chapter 5

So, she finally makes her escape and does so without any more bloodshed. Well done.



Author's Response: Thank you, trekfan.

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 18:07 Title: Chapter 6

Poor Barin, she just can't catch a break.
Again you've maintain the world and make Barin sad world believable.
Well Done.

Author's Response: Thanks, FB.

Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 14:19 Title: Chapter 6

How faint freedom was. Utterly despairing and grim right at the death. A fantastic piece.

Author's Response: Thanks, Mac. Yes, sometimes freedom can be quite fleeting indeed.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 12:13 Title: Chapter 6

I can't believe it. No seriously. Like there's only one more instalment. Where's the please oh please happy ending going to come from? Damn. Again, another great read that is harrowing to read but compelling and unforgiving. 



Author's Response: Thanks for reading, MF. Don't give up on our girl yet. She might yet find a way...

Reviewer: zeusfluff Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 11:39 Title: Chapter 6

O.O WOW GK. I almost have no words for this. Poewrful, painful and you leave me wanting to know how it all ends.

Day 7 can't come fast enough.

Author's Response: Thank you, Zeuss.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 10:13 Title: Chapter 2

She was returned to them as a warning, and it worked. This is awful, but good job of writing.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2014 10:09 Title: Chapter 1

Wow, that really put me right there in the action. Poor little kid! Great job of writing.



Author's Response: Thanks, MC.

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