Date: 21 May 2014 20:19 Title: What Had Happened Was ...
Curiouser and curiouser... You've really created a down the rabbit hole situation for your characters here as they try and decide who and what to trust. We're kind of in the same boat, as we're not even sure how much of what your MC is telling us is trustworthy. It's a fine line to walk and so far you're doing so masterfully. Great job!
Date: 21 May 2014 02:52 Title: He Who Shall Not Be Named (But is Anyway)
Somehow I don't think the prisoner's idea of "help" is the same as Danny's. I'm left wondering who is beaming him somewhere--if it really is S31, or the funny farm trying to get him back, or someone else entirely. Nice work!
Date: 20 May 2014 21:55 Title: He Who Shall Not Be Named (But is Anyway)
Gees. With these mind games one starts to get paranoid. You doubt Danny. Maybe the guy knows your name nnot becuase he's S31 but because he's Betazoid?! You get paranoid about the situation that he doesn't get paranoid about - don't take the tricorder! you shout - but he does and then shimmer.
Boys oh boys. This plays with the mind. I don't know what it says about your mad skills trekfan that you get the reader to connect to a character who can hardly connect to himself or the world around him. All I know is, is that it adds up to a compelling tale.
Date: 20 May 2014 21:05 Title: He Who Shall Not Be Named (But is Anyway)
Well, this has taken a turn, and not a good one, I'm sure. I'm beginning to suspect that Danny's been implanted with some form of technology or other, and it's messing with his head something fierce. Hmm.
Date: 20 May 2014 18:21 Title: He Who Shall Not Be Named (But is Anyway)
Oh, S31. You and your evil ways.
Danny is somehow more relatable now that he's lost his marbles. Not sure what that says about me.
Interesting how he's looking to Vick (or Vick's memory) as a role model now.
Date: 20 May 2014 18:19 Title: He Who Shall Not Be Named (But is Anyway)
Uh oh. Is this going to be a lucky escape or a case of frying pan to fire?
Continued nice job balancing the need of the story with the slow descent of Danny. You really have me intrigued with this whole thing, I can't wait to find out what is going on! As usual, the writing is excellent, you are doing a great job with the first person (which is not easy to do!) Look forward to tomorrow's
Date: 20 May 2014 05:55 Title: Exit, Stage Left
Again, very well-written look into the mind of someone who isn't operating on all thrusters. But the fact that the attendant said the apartment was rented, when clearly it wasn't, makes me wonder what is really going on, and who the attendant really is, or at least who he's working for. The plot thickens.
Date: 20 May 2014 04:04 Title: Home is Where the Crazies Aren't
Love the title. I also like how even Section 31 operatives need time away. It always seems like the Section 31 folks we see on the shows are fanatical. I like seeing someone take it a different route.
Date: 19 May 2014 21:56 Title: Home is Where the Crazies Aren't
Ok, he really seems to be in a bad way. Intrigued to discover what is going on here.
You did a good job of describing the oncoming headache and its aftermath, as well as continuing to provide us with enough background detail to keep us interested.
Another great one!
Date: 19 May 2014 21:09 Title: Home is Where the Crazies Aren't
Oh gees. It should in theory be the last place to find him. Seems that kind of move is covered in class 101. Though I've a feeling Danny skipped some classes. Still, he's making moves that show his skillset. That means he's still very dangerous and unhinged as he is that makes him very, very dangerous. Of course, it doesn't help that the fact the universe doesn't make sense and he's seeing visions of a Betazoid. That kind of thing is whack. Save for the fact he's a guy who travelled to the multiverse. Maybe in the end, he's not nearly as crazy as everyone thinks.
Date: 19 May 2014 20:31 Title: Home is Where the Crazies Aren't
This reminds me quite a bit of the Barenaked Ladies' song, The Old Apartment. It has a line that resonates right here, "Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk."
Or, in Danny's case, sleep.