Date: 19 May 2014 22:55 Title: Exit, Stage Left
Again, very well-written look into the mind of someone who isn't operating on all thrusters. But the fact that the attendant said the apartment was rented, when clearly it wasn't, makes me wonder what is really going on, and who the attendant really is, or at least who he's working for. The plot thickens.
Date: 18 May 2014 22:16 Title: Exit, Stage Left
I like that this was done from the point of view of the patient. This was very well written. It captures psychosis really well from the patient's point of view and how the reactions of those around him are perceived. It also found the doctor's reactions were very realistic. I hope there's more coming!
Date: 18 May 2014 15:34 Title: Exit, Stage Left
Wow! That was an intense start. I love the schizophrenic jumps his internal dialogue makes, from fear of sleeping to interior decorating. It shows in a few short words that he's definitely a few bricks shy of a full load. But will escaping really remedy that, or only make the situation worse? Just have to wait and see I guess...;-)
You know, I didn't really think it was so intense when I wrote it. He was a bit detached about it, which probably only shows how detached he is overall. Glad you found it enjoyable. :)
Date: 18 May 2014 14:34 Title: Exit, Stage Left
Nicely done trekfan.
Good to see Danny Scott make a break and steal a kiss.
That's what he stole there, a kiss, and one can make the case that he stole his freedom. This is not the last we'll see of that maiden he stole a kiss from ... ;)
Date: 18 May 2014 14:26 Title: Exit, Stage Left
And the award for most intense WTF opening goes to... :)
This was great. Really action packed but with just enough internal monologue for us to twig that some major stuff is going on in Danny's head. You did a great job of giving all of the characters real... well, character, in a very short space.
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Thanks, CS! The next few entries should be very interesting for Danny. And those he comes across.
Date: 18 May 2014 13:19 Title: Exit, Stage Left
LOL and wow. Some real zingers here from Danny and a move that's more Kirk than Scott at the end. I love the setting beginning and what the escape entails for Danny. Interesting times are ahead clearly. The humour is great and yet adds a certain pathos to the proceedings coming so dryly and sometimes sourly from Danny. As much as the humour lightens things it actually lends the piece an underlying ominous aspect and hints at the darker side of Danny that his mind goes to those places in such a situation. And then again, his humour is what makes me have hope for Danny that he can survive what he has done and endured. The humour is a shield and an effective defensive mechanism that may serve to protect him. It also serves to show a lighter, more positive, more hopeful Danny. Looking forward to where this goes.
Danny is a one of a kind character as far as his humor goes and the situations he implores it in. As we progress, we'll see more of this come to play. I'm glad you enjoyed this, it was a blast to write: he's one of the few characters I can have fun writing even when he's in a bad way.
Date: 18 May 2014 13:17 Title: Exit, Stage Left
Oh, Danny. You and the ladies.
THis cracked me up though: The gray door opens to a slightly less grayer hallway and I can't help but think I ended up in the wrong career field: I would have made a killing as an interior designer for Starfleet.
It's so true. Their decor is terrible. But indulging in stereotypes for a moment, are we SURE his love for the ladies isn't a cover for his secret gay identity? Because we all know the best interior designers are gay men ...
So our pal (Maren rolls her eyes) is in trouble again. What else is new? I tend to agree that Danny is a bit unhinged. Maybe not a lunatic but at least a few cards short of a full deck. Looking forward to getting more of the context on this situation. Nicely done!
Danny is a fun character and, no, he's not gay. He may have some tendencies (see his years staying with his abusive partner in crime Vick) but he's definitely a few cards short of a full deck, yes. He has his traumas and certainly has his issues, but he's after big fish this time around: he has to prove the universe is wrong. That's pretty heady stuff, even for him.
Glad you got a laugh, thanks for the review. :)