Reviews For Monday
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 May 2014 15:08 Title: Monday

I enjoyed reading this story. The characterizations were good, and I can see it happening this way, with friends (family really) gathered around, just being with one another and processing the event. I like that Spock calls Jim from his ship to let him know he is on his way. I have to think Spock must have sensed something, just as Kirk did, if he was already on his way to see Bones, when he died.

I like that Joanna came to see Kirk at his house, and brought her father's will with her. Making a will and including his friends in it is so very like McCoy. I could almost see it written on paper, though, with the doctor's mistrust of all things mechanical. I would like to see this expanded so that we get to be a party to the reading of the will. I think it would be interesting to see what Bones left his two friends.

Spock's reaction was sweet. It would be very in character for him to react to the news with stony silence, and then show the true reaction when he was alone. Jim would know this about him, and thus gave him the time alone to express his true feelings.

The only thing I had a little trouble with was the timing. I think it would have worked better to make all of this take place later in the day. Most papers have a really late addition and some have a very early one, but if he died at home, just the night before, I don't think the newspaper would have gotten word of it by that first edition of the day. That's not the first establishment most people call when they've lost someone because funeral arrangements have to be made first, so most people have to wait for normal business hours to make those arrangements, and the arrangements themselves usually take several hours because grieving people don't think as clearly as they might otherwise.

Overall, this was a fantastic read, and a believable story. It was nice to see this kind of interaction between two characters that are so well known. Nice work!

Author's Response: Thank you for the comments. I'm glad you liked the story. These three really are very "connected", so it makes sense that they would have a sort of "sixth sense" for when one of them needs his friends/is in trouble,etc. Joanna knows Kirk is one of her father's best friends, so it makes sense that she would go to him. I also think it would be interesting to see what Bones left his friends, but unfortunately my muse didn't give me that information. (It can be a fickle little thing sometimes) I like to write my Vulcan characters "outside of the box" so to speak. Some more, some less. Even canon Vulcans like Spock I like to take out of the box a little bit, without taking them out of character. As for the timing,1. I read somewhere that news media often have pre-written obituaries on file for high profile figures so they can be put in the next edition as soon as they hear that that person has died. 2. I didn't know much of anything about funerals or the arrangement thereof when I wrote this. 3. Thinking retroactively, it WOULD be in character for McCoy to have made arrangements for his funeral while he was still living. 4. From the ST movies and their novelizations, I get the impression that news and so forth is practically instantly on TV & the internet in this time period so even for The Worldly Blab getting the news out is mostly a matter of printing and delivering. (Which last can be accomplished by transporter.) Thank you again for the comments.

You must login (register) to review.