Date: 27 Sep 2013 05:06 Title: Chapter 1
Aww, sweet, wee piece, TF. I must admit to not being all that familiar with Seven (enough to know whether her voice is right, or that strawberries are her favorite), but the bit with Paul being set up on a blind date hit close to home.
So glad things worked out, and that they were able to have an enjoyable evening--which looks like it will lead to others--in spite of some of the unsavory events that transpired. Nice job.
Date: 13 Sep 2013 09:33 Title: Chapter 1
This was a lot of fun to read--I like how we get to see him go from mostly focusing on ending the date so he can get out, to actually enjoying himself (unfortunate brawl not-withstanding). I really liked the bit about how some people won't care that Seven's not Borg anymore (not really)--a reminder of what she may have to deal with on a nonstop basis.
Date: 12 Sep 2013 00:03 Title: Chapter 1
Well Done TF, you’ve manage to deliver on the your original WFW set piece and make a enjoyable view of an very awkward first date between two people who social graces are a little lacking and yet as a combination they work.
The choice of song and the fun you manage to convey is excellent. I like that you did throw the drunk in to disrupt the perfect evening, the little touches like recalling that strawberries are her favourite, show the master craftsmen inside you.
Thanks Bill. The original piece was never meant to be anything more than what it was ... a simple one-off. There were never any plans to really do more with it or in the same vein as it ever again, but this challenge brought it back to the forefront for me. I decided to let it ride and, boy, did it ride. The two of them are similar but different, both in need of growth socially and both a bit unwilling to do it ... but together, I hope, they'll find the courage to overcome their fears and become better, together.
And, yes, the drunk in there is meant to mess things up and mess things up he did. There's no such thing as a perfect evening, as these two will discover, but things will certainly get better in the future for them ... in some ways. If there is a future, which I think there is. Thanks for the review.
Date: 10 Sep 2013 16:35 Title: Chapter 1
Aw, squee!! So lovely.
The voices are true, the exposition just so, and the scenes are very believable. Well done!
Thanks, jes. The voices were the most important part of this, not just because of the singing either, but because of the way both characters had to speak and act in this situation. Neither is even close to an extrovert (both rather introverted) and so being on a date, together, could have been agony for both. Thankfully, it wasn't.
Thanks for the comment :)
Date: 10 Sep 2013 12:11 Title: Chapter 1
That was really sweet. I felt you stayed really true to Seven, and "evolved" her character in a way to account for being back on Earth. It was a really great job.
And the poor doc...yeah, I'd probably kill Vicky too if she had set me up on a blind date with Seven. I was really glad to see that he got more comfortable and intrigued, and then to see that Seven had also enjoyed herself was wonderful, too.
That awkward moment on a first date where you can't remember what you're supposed to do...that was awesome. Think you nailed it on the head. Going to admit, I laughed when you stayed true to your reputation and pulled the rug out. Sure, they could have had a nice romantic evening, but where's the fun and torture in that, right? But, it also wasn't just thrown in randomly; plenty of people are going to still be wary of the Borg. Surprised that the drunk waited for them to finish singing to make his move.
Which...the singing. Awww...that was really awesome when Seven started playing along with him, and it seemed like she really WAS having a very fun time. I really loved that part.
A pretty good throw at the challenge. Not sure how to compete with you here... :)
Thanks, TS. Yes, I took special care to evolve Seven a little but not too much. I didn't want to have her acting OOC but being on Earth for as long as she had at this point in my timeline (about 7 years -- the number 7 is everywhere ... ) she had picked up a few things. Still, social situations are very uncomfortable for her.
Just another thing she shares with Paul, who is no social butterfly. Vicky, being the loving sister that she is, has been trying to set him up for years. Paul is a horrible date most of the time, always fallng over himself. He lacks social grace and Vicky knows this, but thankfully she knows Seven does, too. She and Tom Paris conspired to bring this two together (they have their own little history, but that's another day).
Anyways, based on my very limited experience, pulling from others experience, and just guessing really, I came up with their interactions. I'm glad it all seemed good to you because, honestly, I wasn't quite sure how it would come out.
As to why the drunk waited till the end of the song, he was in the bathroom for most of it. He didn't see who was on the stage till they came off (those stage lights are bright to the drunk, blearly eyed). That's why he went berserk then. But Seven quickly put him down. (like a boss).
The singing was a very fun part for me to write and Seven was having fun. As the relationship between these two progresses, you'll see her play along with him more. Music really is going to be a big part of their relationship, for both of them.
Thanks for the review :)
Date: 10 Sep 2013 08:51 Title: Chapter 1
Adorable. Paul comes across as delightfully sweet, and Seven also was in her own, understated way. Too late to demand a sequel? XD
Sequel has been greenlit, Steff. These two had way more play than I originally anticpated and are probably in my top three 'favorite couples to write' already. The next installment in their dating lives should be interesting, but expect this to be a slow burn. Neither one of them are prone to moving fast (most of the time) and I see their dating lives going on quite awhile. Thanks for the comment. :)
Date: 10 Sep 2013 07:19 Title: Chapter 1
That was absolutely adorable. You did a great job with Seven's voice. You really nailed her ability to give a seemingly simple statement way more meaning through subtle bodly language and voice inflection. At times, I kind of felt like I was peeking into a rarely-explored corner of my own fic universe -- like, I kept imagining what she might tell Icheb if he asked about her blind date. Totally fun stuff!
As a random aside, I love that you remembered strawberries are her favorite.
My one quibble is that I'm trying to figure out how in the world she got him back to her place without being forced to divert to the hospital. Seems to me that any cabbie/transport operator/etc. would have called the cops upon seeing an ex drone with an injured, unconscious human. And while I've no doubt she's capable of carrying him, it wouldn't be inconspicuous, which might also result in intervention by the authorities, especially if anyone reported the fight at the bar.
Aside from that minor quibble, though, this was a seriously fun read and I'm so happy you wrote it. Nice to see this side of Seven. Loved it.
So glad you thought her voice was right, I was worried it wasn't. I advanced her in a few areas (as this is in 2385 thereabouts in my head), so she's better adapted to some things. I really enjoyed writing this and I was surprised to find the two had such chemistry together -- it wasn't apparent in the free write, really, but it got better as it went along and it's what propelled me to finish it in one night.
As to how she got him back to her place, THAT is another story entirely and one I will be writing today/tonight. I had planned to this originally while writing it, simply because that story deserves to shine on its own. I think you'll like it, stay tuned. Thanks for the comment. :)