Date: 18 Jul 2013 19:29 Title: Chapter 4
A really impressive self-contained story. When we got the characters all in play here in the AOS setting they all fitted their onscreen characterisations and I heard their voices. Very well done on that front. Also, a very good story, pared down to the essential material required to tell it and yet give it flavour.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the welcome and reviews! I had originally done this very differently (and much longer) and then decided it worked much better--if was running the risk of being confusing--by strictly limiting the POV. I hadn't even thought of the Robocop comparison but as that's one of my absolute favorite movies, thank you. I was concerned about the confusion factor, particularly given how long the real payoff is, so I'm glad to see it didn't dissuade from the rest.
Date: 18 Jul 2013 19:20 Title: Chapter 3
I'm thinking Enterprise has to come the rescue here soon - perhaps the other ship on the sensory limits? But that was a neato piece there. Kirk/Pilot sacrificed in order to keep the ship going for as long as possible. Giving others a fighting chance seems something he would do so no wonder he feels some peace in the moment.
And of course, the little flashback snippets of AOS Kirk were short but sifficient to portray something of his measure in this timeline. And yet, despite finding a measure of peace in the moment, Kirk won't resign to his identity as The Pilot. A wee moment of bravo.
Date: 18 Jul 2013 19:13 Title: Chapter 2
Oh wow, so Pilot is actually a kidnapped Kirk? Fantastic. This chapter started answering some big questions from the opener and did so with aplomb and all the confusion and questions were slowly lifted away to reveal a clearer pitcure with lots of questions remaining.
It was interesting seeing the Kirk personna grappling and getting some glimpses of control and seemingly beginning to exercise that famed Kirk brain for strategy and tactics. Very interesting and well done.
I loved though even the beginning with the interloper and when still asking questions about what was happening. That was a very interesting situation, complexing and absorbing and could easily be overlooked upon the reveal so I thought it worth pointing out how good it was. Very well done with this.
Date: 18 Jul 2013 19:02 Title: Chapter 1
Wow. I don't know what exactly to say. It was disconcerting and very hard to figure out what was going on but I link that to the Pilot's only newly awakened being and adjustment to being the new pilot. So your approach cleverly conveys all of that.
However, as things proceed we start to get a sense of something more going on. Pilot has been alive before - in some other guise or manner. I got a vibe akin to Robocop, a former person awakening in a cybernetic type link. Very cooly rendered and offers the reader an intriguing premise here. Not sure at all how this fits with Trek never mind AOS Trek but it is clever and interesting and I'm willing to check out some more to gain a better idea and perspective on this fascinating if confusing ((but deliberately so)) beginning. Welcome to the archives.