Reviews For The Longest Day
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Reviewer: HJK Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Sep 2013 04:49 Title: Part 2

I love this story, it is short and well structured. I always loved the lower decks episode from TNG, and similar episodes on VOY... it's usually always about the high ranking seniors, but its the crew on the lower decks that keep a ship together! Nice!

Author's Response: Thank you, glad you liked it.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Sep 2013 13:40 Title: Part 2

*applause*

Nicely done. The KM scenario was well-delivered, and the reader gets a very good sense of being there. The characters come across well and as individuals and not as types.



Author's Response: *bows graciously* Glad you enjoyed it. One of the most important things in writing a story tends to be that the characters come across as believable. Good to know I achieved that.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Sep 2013 13:17 Title: Part 1

Oh my!

Again, you are very good with below decks characters and unlikely or at least unfamiliar heroes. Srena's day is not going well at all, but it makes a great deal of sense in the context of warfare. The grunt soldiers (and she isn't, truly, a soldier, at least not a ground force one) take all sorts of punishments. The shower and the replicator were particularly good and personalizing touches.



Author's Response: Yeah, I was aiming for a certain degree of realism for this story. I don't always do this, but here it felt appropriate. Life in Starfleet isn't all glamor and even battles are not necessarily an everyday occurrence. Endless days filled with training and superior officers breathing down you neck, however, that never goes away.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Jul 2013 08:44 Title: Part 2

A nice, satisfying conclusion, and a realistic look into the gritty, sometimes difficult and constantly busy life of a junior officer.

I was glad to see her step up here and take ownership of her rank and position, especially with regard to Dinkins and her confidence at the helm of Eagle.

Her talk with Star did make me squirm a little, though.  Star telling her that the evasive maneuver Srena performed in the asteroid belt got Tazla in trouble with the captain just seemed a little off, as if the first officer was throwing the junior officer under the bus.  On the other hand we weren't privy to the conversation between the CO and XO in the ready room after the incident.  I would hope Star explained to Owens that the maneuver had been necessary in  order to avoid damaging Eagle and the cargo it had in tow.  If you ask me, Srena performed in an exemplary fashion under extremely difficult circumstances and deserved to have her actions defended, not condemned by the XO.

I did like the aspect of the conversation in which Star pointed out her reasons for riding Srena so hard, though, and for telling the ensign that she had a promising future if she was willing to work for it.  Military personnel can never afford to get complacent, in peacetime or wartime.  That aspect came through loud and clear.

All in all, a well-written, enjoyable read. :D



Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm very glad you liked the story. As for the scene that made you squirm, my interpretation there is that Star was merely observing how Srena would react to her telling her about her blaming her for getting into trouble with the captain. I don't believe she is truly holding this against her as, quite rightly, that couldn't and shouldn't have been Srena's concern. After all, following that, the commander quickly explains the real reason for her trepidation in a seemingly uncharacteristically vulnerable and honest moment.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Jul 2013 22:05 Title: Part 1

Great start, CeJay. Srena's tension is immediately palpable, as is her frustration with the endless string of fruitless red alerts.  She is instantly likeable, and we identify with her as green and untried, but wanting to do her best, especially in the eyes of her superiors (Commander Star, most notably).  Be interested to see where you take that character, BTW.

But getting back to the cliff-hanger ending of this chapter - it only makes me want to read more, to see what happens to our intrepid ensign, who had war, and command, thrust upon her all too soon.

Off to read more...



Author's Response: Thanks for reading it and almost more importantly, liking it as well. War is hell, of course, but not always for the same reason as this story may illustrate.

Reviewer: SLWalker Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2013 19:27 Title: Part 2

Very nice fakeout with the holodeck sumulation. You totally had me convinced. I love how she stood up for herself in the Mess, too. I love that she pulled off an excellent piece of flying and came to an understanding with Star. Over all, this was just a terrific Day in the Life tale with an engaging cast and a neat look at shipboard operations. And then the loop back at the end.

Seriously, CeJay, you did a great job with this one.

Author's Response: Holodeck trickery. It's a Trek stable but an irresistible one. Glad it had you going. Again many thanks for reading and reviewing.

Reviewer: SLWalker Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Jul 2013 18:30 Title: Part 1

Srena is so immediately likable (and I love your cover); I liked the very normal routine of trying to deal with mundane biological functions even under a red alert. The Lower Decks perspective is one you write so well, and you make immediately likable characters. Her day-in-the-life here well reflects the exhaustion and constant stress of shipboard operations during wartime, and the ways people adapt to it.

Mikki was also likable, if naive, but man. What an ending. Suddenly, everything goes horribly wrong, and you could feel Srena's shock and confusion, but it's impressive how she managed to keep her head and make the right calls despite it. The last few lines of this chapter are horrible. Excellent writing, drawing us in, and making us care, and now this.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. Full disclosure, the image on the cover was created by artist Patrick Reichel. I think the story only really works if you can somehow identify with Srean and I'm glad you could make that connection.

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