Date: 16 Jul 2013 15:56 Title: Chapter Two - Part Two
Ah, and it appears as if the issues with Enya might be beginning to hit a resolution. Again, a gentle admonishment, and again a promise to do better. Hopefully, it will take this time as Beth really does not need this on top of everything else that's going on.
Date: 16 Jul 2013 15:48 Title: Chapter Two - Part One
Good job by Beth setting Enya straight. She's right; it's inappropriate. And pretty damned creepy. This is not the way that any counselor should behave and, truth be told, it is the sort of behavior that should make Command think twice about assigning any more Betazoids as counselors, ever - and possibly in any other capacity. It is just far too much of a violation and it is the sort of thing that can absolutely murder crew morale.
Date: 26 Jun 2013 16:03 Title: Inspiration
Not sure what I can say that is truly new.
I enjoy this book. The Era of the Enterprise-G is rich and alive. You've caught existing character voices well and I can believe in Beth as Will/Deanna Daughter.
I like the original aliens and the black sheep sister threat.
The mixing of history interlude and 'G' Era, make it an easy read with the reveal about past actions helping. Hope to see more of the old Enterprise and titan crews in your other stories.
Yes forward, forever forward!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review FalseBill! I appreciate the feedback very much and yes, I'm currently working on Book Two.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 14:38 Title: Interlude II
I like how Worf at least initially took it on as something of a practical joke versus Riker, that it was something that amused him. But of course he had to have seen just how serious Beth was.
The parallel here is clear, that this bit of the interlude is rather close to the prior year's interlude with Picard before his retirement. Another sweet nod to canon with the naming of the skiff after Shran.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 14:32 Title: Interlude I
And the tradition continues, as Jean-Luc Picard is given the opportunity to behave in a way that was denied him otherwise in life - as a patriarch, and not as a captain. Nice nod to canon with Kirk's words from Generations and the mentionings of Archer and Spock as well. No mentioning of April and Pike, but it is not necessary to play every single one of the greatest hits.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 14:28 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
The interweaving of Black Sabbath is very affecting here, and Beth's distress is believable, as is Deanna's offense. For Deanna, it is as if her own, personal existence is in question. What mother wouldn't be hurt by such a thing?
And then there's Cassidy, the obvious black sheep of the family.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 14:13 Title: Chapter One - Part Three
Ah, the family reunion! I really liked how Beth blocks her mother's voice out of her own head. It is a bit reminiscent of Deanna and Lwaxana, and it makes the reader wonder - is Deanna, in some ways, turning into her mother?
Date: 19 Jun 2013 13:48 Title: Chapter One - Part One
For Beth, who has the weight of tradition and family and expectations on her shoulders, her education could not have been at all easy. So many damned expectations! It makes sense that a Klingon would notice that, and would notice the way she had handled herself.
The original aliens are interesting. You had to convey a lot of information in this section, and I think it was gotten across just fine.
Date: 18 Jun 2013 15:44 Title: Prologue II
Beth's got a bombshell bit of news, it sounds - but it just scared the tar out of poor Bill. I loved the Choblik - I take it that is an original species. Very alien, very different, but also sympathetic and easy to be comfortable with.
Bill's fear is very real, as is Laura's. I get the feeling he'll be a bit peeved at Beth for scaring him like this.
Date: 27 Oct 2011 06:21 Title: Chapter Four- Part One
I can't help but ask is USS Walesa is from Wałęsa, former president of Poland, but without Polish letters, or it's just a coincidence.
Author's Response: It is him, without the Polish letters (alas, my American keyboard and editor did not have them.) I created the ship and the class in my head. All my classes of ships not only have the class named after the first ship (in this case Walesa) named after them, but all the ships in the class adhere to the theme. I have posted my reference list here at Ad Astra - I would have posted the timeline, but I integrated the next two books timeline into it and don't want to give too many spoilers. ;) Thanks for continuing to read!
Date: 17 Oct 2011 22:52 Title: Chapter Two - Part Two
I'm glad to see that Enya understood her mistake without long speeches and preaching. That shows she can improve and her regret is a sign she wants to do everything not to repeat it.
And the joke about the lasagna? I laughed, too :D
Author's Response: You will see more of the Riker father/daughter relationship being exposed as Beth and her crew get more comfortable with him being on the Enterprise. While Beth was always inspired by Picard to succeed - her command style is identical to that of her father's.
Date: 17 Oct 2011 21:40 Title: Chapter Two - Part One
I think Beth was right--Enya crossed the line. "Eavesdropping" other people's conversation behind a closed door leads to nothing good and I'm quite surprised that Enya doesn't understand that. Maybe her former COs asked her to do that, but when they did, didn't she have any objections and just accepted it as a natural thing?
Beth's going to have a lot of problems with a counselor who doesn't understand other people's basic needs--like the need of privacy.
Author's Response: Enya learns the lesson well. She got lazy. The scene is meant to solidify a few things for the reader, Beth's aversion to her own Betazoid skills; Priest's "over-reliance" on her own Betazoid skills; Richardson's blooming (albeit subtle here) fondness for Beth; and the fractured professional relationship between Richardson & Priest. This comes into play a bit in the future of the tale.
Date: 15 Oct 2011 07:19 Title: Interlude II
That's a great idea with those interludes! Without interrupting the flow of the story and without confusing, loooong retrospections, we get to see some events from that past. Those things were already mentioned, so we understand with importance they carry, but we have a chance to see them told is a natural narration, and not as thoughts of a character in the middle of some conversation. That also makes the event more "believable," because memory can fail and slightly (or not-so-slightly) deform the facts and how we remember them, but in this case we see everything from the neutral point of view of the narrator.
Author's Response: Thanks GR: All of the Heritage books will be told in this style: current time interspersed with flashback interludes. I feel it's extremely important for the reader to understand where and how these children were influenced and molded by those around them as they grew. To be honest - it's the real meat of the story.
Date: 11 Oct 2011 06:31 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
A good doze of reality here. Here we have a loving family, which seems almost perfect, but it turns out that--like many others--they had their ups and downs, little secrets and problems. Not too much to destroy them, but enough to give them a bit bumpy past and some interesting memories.
A very good peek into the Rikers past.
Author's Response: This is the first time readers are relieved of worrying about whether Beth is a Mary Sue. She is not. Far from it as a matter of fact. She's an obsessive-compulsive, stubborn, judgmental person. She is especially hard on herself most of all. She is self-confident to a fault - as you will see as the book progresses. :) Thanks so much for reading this. It's been fun to go through it again with you!
Date: 10 Oct 2011 03:33 Title: Chapter One - Part Two
Now, that a surprise! I guess Riker and Deanna couldn't get a better gift than they daughter commanding the Enterprise and at such a young age at that!
But it seems her surprise plan was quite a gamble. Riker was seriously angered by slack in following the protocol and I'm sure anyone else--if their even dared to do something like this--would be in serious trouble. I'm not certain if Beth isn't, after the first shock of surprise passes.
Author's Response: Now you know they went to Ba'ku! Riker would have flattened anyone else, but Beth knows she can get away with a lot when it comes to her father. And you're right, I don't think anyone else would have dared...
Date: 10 Oct 2011 01:49 Title: Chapter One - Part One
I can see that the Enterprise has very Titan-like crew. Good, because I always found the diversity of that crew fascinating. Such a mix creates a lot of opportunities for character development, cultural discoveries and...conflicts.
I like the part about K'Reeg; I think you conveyed Klingon way of thinking well. He pays attention to things a Klingon would, but a human--or other species--wouldn't. He has different priorities and different goals. Very Klingon.
And finally the background is explained and the recent history presented: both the history of Beth and the Federation. I still don't know why the Enterprise goes to Ba'ku, but I know why the Federation is at war and with whom.
Date: 09 Oct 2011 04:33 Title: Prologue II
When I read that he started to sense Laura's feelings, I started to suspect that he's Riker and Troi's son. When he talked to his sister, Beth (who I already knew from your other story), I only got a confirmation.
But I still don't know what is it that she wants to tell him. Is each chapter going to be a mini cliffhanger? ;)
Author's Response: Not really - but I really wanted my prologues to leave the reader with a need to know a little bit more - as well as treating them like "television" prologues. The next two chapters are quite long and contain a LOT of exposition (I did create a HUGE new universe that starts 30 years after Nemesis - there was a lot I need the reader to know.) However, I promise you that this will pay off in the end. :)
Date: 09 Oct 2011 03:25 Title: Prologue I
That's some beginning. Almost Hitchcock-like: start from an earthquake and then gradually raise the suspense. We have the earthquake, so what's next?
Author's Response: Thanks! I had fun writing that one! As for what's next? - Well you will get to meet Beth...
Date: 29 Jan 2010 01:56 Title: Interlude III
A really great, action packed interveal here, showing us a snapshot of Riker and the mysterious Shentari. You painted a really good picture of battle, and of all the emotions that Riker must have been going through.