You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Strider Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 May 2013 10:58 Title: Part Two

The library would be the first place I would go...but then, I wasn't raised on Orion. I hope she doesn't give up.

Reviewer: Strider Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 May 2013 10:56 Title: Part One

That's so sad. I've often wondered why the Federation doesn't do more about Orion slavery.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 10:10 Title: Part Seven

A satisfying conclusion.  She is free of him at last.  But what becomes of her?  Does she take over the household, leave the planet and start over somewhere else, become someone else's property according to her master's will?  Surely you're gonna continue with this at some point...

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 10:05 Title: Part Six

Please, please, please let them be able to help her.  Let them not fall back on the Prime Directive or non-interference with another culture or some such nonsense.  She has worked so hard, schemed and waited for so long, let it finally pay off.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:54 Title: Part Seven

Wow a happy ending, of sorts... And good riddance to that wicked master, may he burn in hell for a long, long time. But I'm not so sure about the fate of Denara's soul. She did kill Tabor in cold blood, and you could excuse that for her desperate situation but for a while she seemed to be falling into the same kind of darkness as that of her masters.

A short story but a very intriguing one about the stripping of an individual's humanity and how they can become a monster for the sake of survival and escape.

This Denera character has some milage and I wonder if there will be any future stories featuring her or about her recovery from this five-year long ordeal?

Rating: five stars!

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:47 Title: Part Six

Looks like Denera has caught her lucky break, unless some legal or bureaucratic issues get in the free of her freedom and her escape from Bajor.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:45 Title: Part Five

And now Denera is becoming as bad as her master, so to recap... No real escape, she is totally desensitized and now she has no moral qualms about bumping off whoever gets in her way of her freedom. There truly is nothing left of Denera now.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:42 Title: Part Four

As the Bajorans would say, poor Denara's pagh is utterly dead and desensitized by her three years of captivity and slavery. Mind you if she really wanted to have ended it all, if she was really serious about it why didn't she slit her throat or stab herself in the chest?

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:39 Title: Part Three

Just how influential is this Orion man? He must have a serious amount of money to bribe the Bajoran constabulary. But at least this story is removing hope after hope from Denara so it's still on track for a really depressing ending.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:36 Title: Part Two

A gilded cage indeed, both for Denera and Tobar it seems...

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 08:33 Title: Part One

A few things which puzzle me in this story. I thought the Orion men were slaves to their women because the women had those pheromones which intoxicated the men? So unless this teenage girl can't release her pheromones, shouldn't she be in control of this man?

Either way this is bleak, depressing and a nice dosage of misery! So keep it coming, and hopefully there is no happy ending so I feel totally depressed at the end...

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2013 02:56 Title: Part Seven

Ok, good, I'm glad she got away. Still, I think that was much too easy a death for her master. Grrr. :) A great ending to a terrificly written series, you captured some really tough stuff in excruciatingly realistic detail. Well done all round!

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 18:03 Title: Part Seven

Oh sweet completion to the series of ficlets. We have safety. Rescue. And I sense in Aris a new character to your stable too and a mentor or friend for Denera. Very fascinating with the possibilities for exploring this character of Denera. Look forward to seeing her future developments. (and of course I being my suspicious self am inclined to believe that the master is not really dead but will return in the future)

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 18:00 Title: Part Six

All the planning she makes and then she seizes an opportunity. Denera she now has a name, now has a chance, now has maybe the opportunity to be free and to begin her life. If giving her name here now is anything to go by this is her moment to become a person. And it's thrilling that she is possibly to be rescued by Starfleet. Here's hoping.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 17:57 Title: Part Five

God oh, chilling really. How cold and calculating her actions have been. She has gone so far as to kill the one person who has helped her in different ways, who saved her life. And yet because he would not help her to gain her freedom she uses him to work towards her freedom. We also see that she will 'sell' herself in order to build towards her freedom by using the doctor to get the hypo. Very calculating and cold but then she's has had to endure horrors, captivity, depravations. She is losing herself by her actions but she risks losing what she is by remaining too.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 07:11 Title: Part Seven

And now the real work begins.

Terrific work, easy to care about Denera and feel her pain.

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 00:11 Title: Part Seven

Powerful.  

You did a good job with the mind meld and their temporary reversal/transference.  I'm glad the Vulcan decided to help.

Her impulsive destruction of the place where she lost so much of herself rang very true.  I hope it brings her just a tiny bit of healing.  I'll probably think about this story a lot in the future.  It's the kind that sticks with you.

Reviewer: SLWalker Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2013 00:06 Title: Part Seven

There's a girl. Now, it's all up. I'm glad you killed the SOB, too, he really had it coming. I like Aris already. I hope Denera goes on and makes an amazing life, even if it takes her a long time. Excellent work, the whole thing.

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2013 14:10 Title: Part Six

Yay! Starfleet (and Vulcans to boot) to the rescue. They are going to rescue her, right? RIGHT? :)
A great little addition to your tale, I especially loved the "who-me?" moment after throwing the fruit. I look forward to tomorrow to see how this resolves.
Well done.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2013 08:32 Title: Part Six

Oh, asylum!

Maybe.

Reviewer: SLWalker Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2013 05:42 Title: Part Six

Oh, clever girl. Good on her. That was an excellent bit of maneuvering, and really good writing to go with it. Here's hoping this really is her big break.

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 May 2013 00:25 Title: Part Six

YES!  A chance!  Please, Vulcans, don't suck.  Please be awesome and help her!  Quick thinking on Denera's part all the way around ... the robe, the fruit throwing, the blaming it on her security ... although I'm a bit surprised her security didn't do anything to her when she threw it in the first place.  I also hope she doesn't get any Vulcans killed or start an interplanetary incident.  But mostly, I hope she escapes and heals.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2013 20:59 Title: Part Five

Interesting twist.  Again, I think she should have saved some of what was in that hypo for her master.  But I guess, like the rationale many battered and abused people use, at least her current master is a known entity.  If he were to die, what would become of her then?  She surely wouldn't be freed, and she might be trading a very bad situation for an even worse one.  That's the mindset that often makes people stay with their abuser until finally the unthinkable happens, not that it's their fault, but these are the seeds abusers try to plant in the minds of their victims.  In many ways, this is the saddest chapter of all...

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2013 20:48 Title: Part Four

To hell with that!  Take the blade, hide it, and cut her master's throat.  If they kill her for that at least she took him with her...

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2013 20:44 Title: Part One

I think this was harsher than the last two chapters, and so very difficult for us, as the reader, to bear.  A year of planning, scheming, learning, watching, listening, culminating in a epic failure, all because she put her trust in the wrong people--people who should have been there to help her.  It's sad that money talks more than suffering...

You must login (register) to review.