Reviews For Bread
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2013 15:47 Title: Chapter 4

Now that was a story with a difference but you manage to get a happy ending for both Leah’s with the prayer over the bread.

I’m surprise that Izo was allowed to live by Josh, given they could of blame the crashing on him trying it on with the pilot during the landing. Guess Hoshi does have them a bit to scared or he was worried Hoshi might look a bit more closely at events if Izo didn’t return.

I did worry that mirror Diana wouldn’t remember anything and Leah plan would fall because of the failing of the human mind.

I think Archer understanding of Leah personnel problems and his genuine offer to help show the good leader he was.

But you did that final scene over the bread very well.

All in all another good story from your pen/keyboard was a pleasure to read as always and you kept the two-universe simulator going well.

Author's Response:

Aw, thank you!'

Archer's past is sort of waved away quickly and in a few paragraphs, but it had to have been terribly difficult for him to see his father decline like that (and a lot of what his father's ravings are about Trek canon). I felt he would have to have an understanding of what was happening, beyond mere human sympathy. Plus he would know what it would mean to assure that his friend didn't lose herself completely in caring for her wife in what's inevitably and sadly a very lost cause. 

On the MU side, Leah isn't necessarily going to a significantly better situation, but at least she's free. And right now that's what counts and it's all she can hope for. I had Josh let Izo live mainly because Josh doesn't quite have his own endgame in place yet. Plus he feels he's under an obligation to help his own people, and Miller, who is still stuck on the Defiant, is half-Jewish. If Josh is to be an honorable man (and in the MU, that's a very difficult thing to be), then he doesn't abandon Miller completely although, as you so correctly noted, it might have been easier to do so, particularly in the short run.

Thank you so much for reading; you're very kind!

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2013 15:33 Title: Chapter 3

Boestus and Leah Benson talk scene about the Daranaean faith and about same sex marriage was well handle it felt like two intelligent people discussing their belief systems shortcoming and The Ambassador looking for something new to go with his more liberal universe views.

Then the scene with Diana and Tallinaria over the communicator and the sad realization that Leah may have to retire and look after her wife felt a weight decisions need to be made in the name of one you love. Well written.

So we see the plan and we seem to see that Izo wants Leah not just as a conquest but also perhaps as a better mother figure than Hoshi.

Is there a spanner in the works or is alternative path in motions due to new opportunities?

Guess I’ll have to read on.

Author's Response:

The Daranaeans are big time oppressors of women, and Boestus was one of the ringleaders. But he's changed over time, and sees that maybe it was a bad idea and maybe it was hurtful. And for him to come to the realization that a marriage might even be purely for love with no hope of unassisted procreation is a revelation to him.

For Izo, that's an interesting take on him. He was certainly done wrong by his mother in the past. Maybe he can have a dual mate/mother? Stay tuned. ;)

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Sep 2013 15:18 Title: Chapter 2

That was an interesting Prime Trek universe, opening scene. What with Archer, Leah and the other human religions leaders. It does feel in character and so like him try to use our faults and differences as a way to try to get others to join the Federation.

So Mirror Josh motives might be to do with faith, of course so early it could all be an intelligence play by Izo to get what he wants. I’m surprise Leah is so trusting of Pike and Ramirez, it all seems to covenant or are you trying to show that even in the MU a little faith can make things a lot better?

Still it was well written as always and I do want to read on.

Author's Response:

I write the MU as being a place loaded with obigations. You owe people this, they owe you that. Otherwise, very little gets done!

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Sep 2013 17:53 Title: Chapter 1

I always find your Prime/Mirror compare ands contrast story a very impressive idea, which you do carry off so well. I do like how you’ve picked unusual characters to be the focus of your stories. Using the difference between the two Leah Benson helps to sell the verse differences. I do wonder why Josh Rosen coming on to Leah for, do like how Leah use Izo only insecurity to get out of his order.
The Scene of President Archer welcoming the three new members with the representatives of various faiths was a inspired choice.

Author's Response:

Aw, thanks for reading! You'll see why Josh is sticking his neck out - Leah (or at least what she stands for) matters to him. A rare example of MU people doing things for others, without expecting a favor in return.

Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Mar 2013 17:49 Title: Chapter 1

Striking how the parallels between the two universes are made. Good to see the mirror ENT portrayed once more. Very tight, neat writing all round Jespah.

Author's Response:

Thank you very much!

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Mar 2013 01:23 Title: Chapter 4

A neat way to tackle this challenge; we all went for the literal "what if everything had been different," while you went with a sense of balance and similarity between the two realities. The ending with the prayer, showing that despite the different paths the Leahs' lives had taken, they were still connected by their faith was very nice. Great job on this challenge!

Author's Response:

Thank you! I wanted the MU Leah to be a bit like a converso (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Converso) where everything is secretive, but it survives. And yes, the threads were meant to be similar (after all, the MU wouldn't be so close to us if the people weren't similar). 

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2013 11:20 Title: Chapter 1

Interesting so far.  Can't wait to see what mirror Benson and Rosen have up their proverbial sleeves...

Also, just wanted to say I love your attention to detail - all the prayers at the dinner from members of so many different religions - even Wiccan.  You do this type of thing in many of your pieces - just wanted you to know it's noticed and appreciated. :D

*blushes* Sorry - forgot to hit 'submit' on these next three reviews when reading.  That's why they're out of order...



Author's Response:

Ah - now the order makes sense. :)

I love a diverse culture and I like to think that it would be even more so in the future. After all, in TOS, when Uhura comments on the son of God, that means that faith survives. So why wouldn't all of them survive in some fashion?

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2013 11:19 Title: Chapter 2

And the plot thickens.  I must admit, I did wonder if 'the tribe' had something to do with the connection between Benson and Rosen...

Still liking very much the theme of how religion is perceived in both universes.



Author's Response:

Definitely the tribe - I believe the first story I ever posted here is The Light and it is referenced here.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2013 11:18 Title: Chapter 3

Leave it to Izo to throw a wrench into the best-laid plans.  Hopefully Benson and Rosen can work around him...



Author's Response:

He, like the other royal children, is horrible. I see Empress Hoshi as being a lot like Livia (I, Claudius and the source material, Suetonius) and her children are variations on Nero and Caligula.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2013 11:04 Title: Chapter 4

That was really sweet, jespah.  I love how you handle parallels, but that is your forte, after all. :D  I especially like how it was the prayer that jogged Diana's memory in both universes.

Glad to see that the Daranaeans made a brief appearance, and the parallel you drew between their world (i.e treatment of women) and our own world of the past.  Just realized though, we haven't seen them in the mirror 'verse, at least not in this story.  Might be an interesting subject - how can that messed up society get even more messed up in the mirror 'verse?  Or perhaps they are the opposite there, and have a much fairer society than what they have here...hurts my brain just thinking about it. ;-)



Author's Response:

I've thought a little bit about MU Daranaeans. Fairer? Nastier? Rabid dogs? I dunno!

And thank you - I wanted a figure who is, well, it's not going to be a happy ending for Diana, when all is said and done. Leah has to hold onto these times because they are only going to get rarer. But at least an older memory will still work, although it won't for much longer (and Henry Archer's ravings - some of them are TOS episodes, e. g. By Any Other Name and, of course, Shore Leave).

Thank you, as always, for reviewing. It's almost Passover, so I suppose I've had bread on the brain. :)

You must login (register) to review.