Date: 18 Jul 2021 22:38 Title: Chapter 5
The bodyless entity grows more mysterious - apparently predatory... And definitely frustrated. Possibly quite dangerous.
As is our mysterous, cloaked project leader.
Looks like Sandhurst got lucky this time. Luck is a central part of success. Nice reverie on the value of training in no-win scenarious and good character development again betwen Sandhurst and Rameriz.
Sandhurst has extremes of luck, both good and bad. Unfortunately, as goes his luck so goes the crew's most of the time. Thanks again for the feedback!
Date: 20 Oct 2014 06:48 Title: Chapter 5
Oooh, I hadn't realized this "whatever" was controlling the Orions as well. I thought they were just, well, being Orions.
I'm curious to see how foul of a mood Lar'ragos is when he finally wakes up again. I can see a lot of things that would set off a mentally stable El Aurian... and he doesn't necessarily meet that definition.
Date: 26 Jun 2012 01:08 Title: Chapter 5
"Sandhurst did a full rotation in his chair to assess the condition of the bridge and crew"
For some reason this conjures up to me an image of a man spinning around in his chair and it's so funny! The man goes round, swivels round; I just think it would look so comical!
This plot gets stranger you know, some kind of trapped energy being, that man in the last scene. You definitely have a flair for the surreal, makes a nice change from the almost non-stop action scenes.
The action in the story ebbs and flows, but I like to think that it's surreal throughout! Thanks for the commentary. :)
Date: 14 Nov 2010 03:20 Title: Chapter 5
Hmmm...a space 'consciousness' that can feel pain...can't imagine what it can or will do to the Gibriltar crew! And now we apparantly have a 'dark figure' brewing up something...
Also great to see the Orions in action. Not something that we saw a lot of in TNG or any of the other series.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. There's more of these mysteries to come.
Date: 21 Dec 2009 12:40 Title: Chapter 5
Another great chapter, especially that little hook at the end. Gibraltar is in a difficult situation here, and has suffered once again from the attack of their assailant. I loved how you went back oh so briefly to the Orion ship just in time to see them all die as a consequence of this attack, and of the control of this strange entity. What is his link to the dark man? I can't wait to find out!
Mysteries within mysteries as the crew begins to peel back the first of many layers to this complex situation. I'm glad you're enjoying the slow reveal.
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:05 Title: Chapter 5
ARRGH! More pieces, but no ANSWERS! You're killing me here. You have so much intrigue built up that this story practically has its own momentum; I imagine it must have taken a lot of thought (or propelled you as well!) when you started on this one.
I don't know if I've commented on your style yet, but it's great. Not overdone, not underdone, it's just smooth and natural and intelligent without being pretentious. Your use of words and how you structure sentences makes this story and the one before it quick and easy to read, while still nailing home all the impacts you mean to.
Thank you very much, :blush: