Date: 15 Jul 2021 13:52 Title: Chapter 2
This is actually one of the better chapters I've read among some really excellent fanfic writers. It's the exploration of the various vulnerabilities of the characters - from Sandhurst's weight to Pava's mental state to Ramirez's career worries.
All with an undertone of menace from the new assignment. I also liked the description of the transport ships. Star Fleet would have to have something like this, but it's just never addressed.
Date: 14 Oct 2014 01:53 Title: Chapter 2
This may seem like an odd association, but reading Pava so far, I'm reminded of the song lyric "we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks." I'm sure Bonnie Tyler meant it euphemistically, but he seems the sort to be both the fuel and the catalyst for a wide variety of reactions.
I'm interested by this whole runabout mission. My gut is telling me it's all a trap, but to what end?
Date: 12 Jun 2012 01:56 Title: Chapter 2
I always like Pava, and with each story a new mystery abounds; like all those scars and stuff. Of course I guess with him being a soldier for a very long time, he would have taken all sorts of crap. No wonder the poor bloke is uncomfortable with checkups. I enjoyed that scene with Sandhurst slaving away on the treadmill. You burn that pudge up Sandhurst, burn it you fatty! Poor Sandhurst, I'm surprised he's fit to command after that gruelling session of exercise (I'm thinking mental tiredness caused by excessive physical exertion).
Ha! "Burn it you fatty!" That's likely what Ashok was thinking. :-p After what happened to the crew in 'Embers', Sandhurst is thinking (rightfully so) that being in better physical condition might be of significant benefit.
Date: 17 Oct 2010 18:09 Title: Chapter 2
I'm sorry to see Ramirez having to toil with her inner demons, but it certainly adds dimension to the character. In fact, I would have even liked see more of what is going through her head, and how she is psychologically dealing with the loss of the Pheonix. I imagine anyone in her position would be going through a lot.
I also like how Sandhurst is dealing with issues of older age; it kind of reminds of the old movies when we see Kirk dealing with having to wear glasses. Even in Star Trek time, we are all mortal!
Ramirez is strong and proud, and she cares about those under her command... which is why the loss of Pheonix haunts her still.
Sandhurst is fighting the age-old battle of the expanding waistline, here's hoping he can pull it off.
Thanks for the comments!
Date: 14 May 2010 15:02 Title: Chapter 2
Its nice to see the run-of-the-mill opertions of a starship so nicely narrated.
However, concern about Lar'ragos seems to be extending outward in ever expanding ripples. I'm not sure but I get the feeling there's going to be a breaking point in the not too distant future.
Ramirez, despite her inner demons, appears to be taking the XO position seriously. Wonder how long it will be before she realises she's an asset that Sandhurst needs rather than just wants?
More inspired build up Sam. Liking it.
Run of the mill is Gibraltar's bread and butter! Ramirez is too professional to allow her personal issues to blind her to her duty, but she'd clearly rather be elsewhere.
Thanks for the comments!
Date: 19 Dec 2009 05:02 Title: Chapter 2
Well, certainly an interesting adventure in store for the crew I think; I see they're starting to come together as the days move on. Let's hope this adventure doesn't end quite as badly as the last.
Yes, let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we? ;-) Thanks for the review.
Date: 06 Dec 2009 00:06 Title: Chapter 2
Ooh! A missing ship, a guilty XO, a Security officer with what seems like a possible mental breakdown of some kind... This is shaping up to be one hell of a mission!
Take a messed up crew, add a mystery, some angst, perhaps a dash of PTSD, and shake well! ;-) Sounds like a recipe for trouble.
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:03 Title: Chapter 2
There were a lot of really brilliantly written moments in this bit -- Ramirez, naturally, continued to be a great character. I loved Donald's physical fitness bit, too; it was funny and human and entirely understandable. Finally, the little bits of mystery about Pava are really, really begging for exploration -- I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this!