You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Dec 2014 22:41 Title: Chapter 8

Ooooh, neat! I want my very own spatial rift. I love the override for the EMH, though the number 31 has me a bit suspicious...

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Dec 2014 22:32 Title: Chapter 7

Oooh, secret passages! I can't wait to see what these researchers have been up to.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Nov 2014 13:05 Title: Chapter 6

I think the thing that fascinates me the most about Pava is that out of all the things he fears, he probably fears what he himself is capable of the most. He has had bad things done to him, but he had done bad things as well. In this instance, there seems to be a valid reason for it (although we’ve only seen this one side), but I have a feeling that there have been unjustified acts of brutality as well. You don’t go through as many years as he’s gone through, and seen the sort of things he has seen without reflecting back brutality of your own. It all goes back to the old Nietzsche quote: “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” I am looking forward to learning more about his life. Some people write their brooding, dark characters in caricaturish form, surrounding them with the trappings of emotion and telling the audience how they are dark, rather than showing. I think your manner of writing a truly dark, conflicted hero is extremely effective. I empathize with him despite never having been through what he has experienced, I feel for him without pitying.

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review! Pava is indeed a complicated creature with a long, sordid history. He's a hard man to comes to grips with, neither hero nor villain, more sinner than saint.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Oct 2014 23:48 Title: Chapter 5

Oooh, I hadn't realized this "whatever" was controlling the Orions as well. I thought they were just, well, being Orions.

I'm curious to see how foul of a mood Lar'ragos is when he finally wakes up again. I can see a lot of things that would set off a mentally stable El Aurian... and he doesn't necessarily meet that definition.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Oct 2014 23:32 Title: Chapter 4

Ah, Orions. Too gripped by their own desires for "valor" and combat "prowess" to let common sense take hold. Then again, it makes sense in a way based on what we know of animal women. Their women are so enticing because most lack the tactfulness and common sense to be long of this world.

I like Sandhurst's continued adjustment periods: dealing with a slower, older ship, trying not to step on toes, pretending to be confidant when he doesn't exactly feel that way.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Oct 2014 19:11 Title: Chapter 3

I would really hate to be Ashok... It's hard to be second smartest engineer on the ship when you're the Chief. Some really interesting things from Juneau... It definitely hints at there being more than meets the eye to the "mousy" officer.

I love the look in at DTI as well. They're certainly not the sort of people you would want showing up at your doorstep, and it makes a lot of sense that they would wield more power than is wise because of "recent" events.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Oct 2014 18:53 Title: Chapter 2

This may seem like an odd association, but reading Pava so far, I'm reminded of the song lyric "we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks." I'm sure Bonnie Tyler meant it euphemistically, but he seems the sort to be both the fuel and the catalyst for a wide variety of reactions.

I'm interested by this whole runabout mission. My gut is telling me it's all a trap, but to what end?

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Oct 2014 14:37 Title: Chapter 1

I really love how you started this story seemingly in media's res, even though it was only a simulation. It also offers red further insight not only into Pava's mind, but also into the political climate. I'm really curious to see what these scientists have up their sleeves. I suspect that they haven't fully realized the potential dangers of their meddling....

I'm quite eager to see what all you have planned.

Author's Response:

Thank you for the feedback. Yes, this is a much different tale than Embers, but hopefully you'll find it equally enjoyable.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Jan 2013 11:37 Title: Chapter 6

For some reason Lar'ragos steals every scene, even when he's dreaming, though I wonder if what he is dreaming bears any relation to this threat (in the real world) or the development of the story, or if it is a chance to throw in some character development?

Author's Response:

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 15 Jul 2012 00:07 Title: Epilogue

Ok, just finished it on my way home on a KC-10, and can I just say...everytime you kill off a character, a little piece of me screams "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Granted, Dunleavy came back, but still, it was one of those "AH! NO!" moments for me, lol. LOVED the image I got of The Rock standing on her end, without her nacelles, floating above the planet surface. And Olivia's alter...and the Q...I'm kinda figuring, but could you clarify, this episode takes place during their "civil war" that we saw a little of in Voyager?

Once again, absolutely incredible, it was difficult to put it down at all. And the timeship (and Pava, at the end) resemblance to another certain show was pretty fun to read. Looking forward to the third one!!

Author's Response:

TemplarSora, thank you for the wonderful feedback!

Yes, the conflict between the Q ‘brothers’ was a result of the civil war we saw in Voyager’s ‘The Q and the Grey’ but as I figure the Continuum existed outside the constraints of normal time, the wounded Q was not only thrown into a parallel reality, but was thrown into that alternate reality's distant past as well.

I hope you enjoy Prophets and Loss as much as you enjoyed Geometries.  :D

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jun 2012 18:08 Title: Chapter 5

"Sandhurst did a full rotation in his chair to assess the condition of the bridge and crew"

For some reason this conjures up to me an image of a man spinning around in his chair and it's so funny! The man goes round, swivels round; I just think it would look so comical!

This plot gets stranger you know, some kind of trapped energy being, that man in the last scene. You definitely have a flair for the surreal, makes a nice change from the almost non-stop action scenes.

Author's Response:

The action in the story ebbs and flows, but I like to think that it's surreal throughout! Thanks for the commentary. :)

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jun 2012 17:59 Title: Chapter 4

Ashok's in deep doo; the ship only managed warp 8.3...

Nice use of those Son'a subspacial weapons. Plus Kutav is shaping up into a nice little villain, Orion as well... There's something you don't see every day.

Author's Response:

Kutav's less a full-fledged villain than an opportunist whose got a strong sense of which way the wind is blowing at any given moment. I'm glad you like the character, as he's always been a favorite of mine.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jun 2012 17:43 Title: Chapter 3

Sandhurst man, I still feeling he is tentatively learning how to be a captain. But a least he did the right thing letting Ramirez sort out Lar'ragos. Though I doubt she will get through to that grizzled, paranoid old wreck...

The parts involving the Temporal Investigations Agency were fun to read, somehow whether in film or book, temporal stuff (related or otherwise) always comes off as interesting to me. Nice little irony with that Past Prologue book; a book of the future about the past...

Author's Response:

Lar'ragos has lots of layers, as you'll soon discover... but grizzled, paranoid old wreck is not too far off the mark. ;)

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Jun 2012 18:56 Title: Chapter 2

I always like Pava, and with each story a new mystery abounds; like all those scars and stuff. Of course I guess with him being a soldier for a very long time, he would have taken all sorts of crap. No wonder the poor bloke is uncomfortable with checkups. I enjoyed that scene with Sandhurst slaving away on the treadmill. You burn that pudge up Sandhurst, burn it you fatty! Poor Sandhurst, I'm surprised he's fit to command after that gruelling session of exercise (I'm thinking mental tiredness caused by excessive physical exertion).

Author's Response:

Ha!  "Burn it you fatty!" That's likely what Ashok was thinking. :-p  After what happened to the crew in 'Embers', Sandhurst is thinking (rightfully so) that being in better physical condition might be of significant benefit.

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jun 2012 11:16 Title: Chapter 1

"Tark laughed appreciatively" isn't that a bit cold-blooded even for a Tellerite? Lar’ragos may seem paranoid but given his background he is sadly right: the Federation is vulnerable to attack by other aggressive species. But I think Lar'ragos underestimates the will of other Federation members to defend 'paradise' no matter what the cost.

It was clever of you to use a holodeck program to start the story; you had me fooled there for a moment! Mildly intriguing last scene; I presume it sets up the plot for this story. Some mad science experiment about to go wrong but some powerful (and shady) people/factions/groups have vested interests in it.

An interesting opener to your second Gibraltar story...

Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm glad you like it. This is a very different story from Embers, but one that reveals a great deal about many of the crew.

Reviewer: David Lowbridge Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Apr 2012 00:28 Title: Epilogue

wow just finished this story. what a great ending. its a shame that they are loosing the CSO. I thought he was a good character. But a show like this needs to have those kind of losses if you ask me. Also there are several unanswered questions. Will Sandhurst return, what effect will this have on him. Will Pava return and what will happen with Ramirez; at least this time the ship didn't explode under her. Great work! Can't wait until read the next one.

Author's Response:

I'm pleased you enjoyed this story so much.  And Plazzi will still be around for awhile yet, seeing as Starfleet hasn't dropped the stop-loss order.  This is one of those stories that will have consequences for everyone involved for a long time to come.

Reviewer: David Lowbridge Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Apr 2012 18:05 Title: Chapter 15

see, i was saying in my last review that Sandhurst needed a holiday, and it just so happens that he does get away from it all. Although I don't think he went to Risa like I suggested.

I love the way you do your combat scenes, they give us so much and yet don't allow the pace to slow down. giving us everything we need, speed, description and an adreneline rush.

The bad guys in this are also very creepy. Takes a lot to make me shiver, but the baron certainly does. and what a great twist on what the planet's pet is. Perfect.

Author's Response:

Thanks!  And no, being taken prisoner by the Baron is certainly no Risan holiday.

Much obliged for the compliments on the combat scenes.

Reviewer: David Lowbridge Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Apr 2012 14:57 Title: Chapter 1

hmm... is there going to be an episode where Sandhurst goes on holiday, because with everything you throw at sandhurst he'll need about 2 months on risa and a new fan every episode.

I'm still trying to figure out who is on which side - completely boggles the mind on that one.

Its turning out like an excellent episode again. The combat scenes were fantastically done. brilliant writing. If I had a star system I would give it 6/5 (not a typo).

wish i could read more tonight, but feeling the call of the bed.

Author's Response:

I'm happy you enjoyed the combat sequences.  The Orions and the Baron are playing for keeps, and Gibraltar's poor crew is just trying to keep up.

Reviewer: David Lowbridge Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Apr 2012 07:07 Title: Chapter 9

I've read from chapter 1-9. Spent about 2 hours up last night reading a couple of chapters, then realised the time and had to get off to sleep. Excellent story. Still have no idea what is exactly going on, which certainly grips the reader more. Yet again you seem to have brought out a fantastic story.

Author's Response:

I'm glad the story pulled you in so effectively, and I apologize for the sleep deprivation! ;-) 

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 24 Jul 2011 09:53 Title: Epilogue

A nice wrap-up to a fantastic, gut-wrenching, yet very satisfying story! Once again you are a vivid writer and you certainly have a way with words. This one burned a deeper mark in my mind then the first story. The Gibraltar really went through some brutal moments this time around that made me twist and turn as a reader. I think what I like most about Geometries of Chance is that it really has a boyish-adventure-quality to it, which I personally tend to like more.

I also liked how you teased us with references to the characters from the shows we all love, like Commander Shelby, Counselor Troi and Ezri Dax, but without actually involving them. This is extremely tempting to do as fan writers, but I think it pays off to hold off on doing that until you've developed your characters sufficiently. That being said, I'm STILL looking forward to seeing Shelby in action in the later adventures!

If I only had one suggestion, it would be to explore those tortuous moments even further. For example, you came up with a very inventive torture device for Captain Sandhurst and we see that he is scarred from it, but I would have liked to see even more as to what he went through emotionally, so I could more deeply understand his pain. Twist the knife even more!

Congrats again, and nicely done! I'm inspired once again to explore greater depths of my own characters.

Author's Response:

Thank you for the fantastic reviews of the story.  I’m pleased you enjoyed the tale.  Sandhurst’s agonies at the hands of the Baron will continue to haunt him for some time, as the continuing stories will convey.  And yes, I intentionally held off showing any canon characters until the third story, to give me more time to find the voice of my own characters first.

Thanks again.

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Jul 2011 09:27 Title: Chapter 22

A very touching conclusion to see Captain Sandhurst being cared for by his crew. I didn't realize how scarred he was from his experiences with the Baron. I'm genuinely glad that he'll be getting the best help that the Federation can give him. If there is one person that can help, it's certainly Counselor Troi! Here's hoping that Ramirez won't have to follow through on her promise...

Author's Response:

Donald's been through a lot, and as a result, the outocme of his treatment and his return to duty are uncertain.  I'm right there with you on Ramirez not having to bring the hammer down on Lar'ragos.

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Jul 2011 09:02 Title: Chapter 20

Lar'ragos may have felt no satisfaction from taking down the Baron, but I certainly did! An exciting and satisfying chapter.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed the scene more than either of those characters apparently did.  ;)

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Jul 2011 13:57 Title: Chapter 19

Wait...what just happened with the Baron?!

Author's Response:

Something old became... something new.  ;-)

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Jul 2011 13:38 Title: Chapter 18

Whoa, didn't see that coming! Shapeshifters are so handy. The Baron got it easy. He deserved a lot worse.

Author's Response:

I agree wholeheartedly...

Reviewer: vincenthugo Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Jul 2011 12:18 Title: Chapter 17

Awww...I want to see Captain Shelby!

Author's Response:

Ha!  Sorry, you'll have to wait for Prophets and Loss to see Shelby in action!

You must login (register) to review.