Date: 31 Aug 2011 17:55 Title: Prologue
Very nice start to your story. I liked how equally divided it is between the Cardassian and Starfleet POVs. I also liked the strong dislike Macet has for his Vorta counterpart.
Also caught the USS Petraeus. I had once considered naming a base after the general, but I wasn't sure if he'd still be remembered in the future as significant as someone like Rommel.
Overall, I look forward to reading more.
Hey, welcome to The Thirteenth Order and thank you very much for reading! Glad you like it! :-)
Putting aside the fact that I don't think a dictator's general would or should get a ship named after them in the Federation (though granted, we've seen some rather undeserving individuals, like Hernando Cortez, get ships named after them in canon), I did not see any reason a ship should not be named after Petraeus. As for the Petraeus, it's a Sabre-class starship...not a massive one, but certainly a ship capable of handling itself in combat. :-)
Date: 29 Sep 2010 03:13 Title: Prologue
Gul Macet clearly has no love for the Dominion and that Vorta on his ship, and while he can't express it openly, he found that way of disrespectful distorting her name to irritate her. It's also very clear he is not a fan of pre-Dominion Central Command government.
Arawil is as adorable as a slug: slimy, and disgusting. Macet is a man of patience - to stand Picard's patronising behaviour years before and now Arawil and her Vorta-talk?
Folani seemed to enjoy torturing the young Cardassian, although I am not sure that this particular man was guilty of any Bajoran crime. Her hatred is targetted at every Cardassian, not only those, who hurt her planet and her people. I pittied the poor guy. Fight is a fight, one must kill or be killed, but is cruelty really necessary? Doesn't she become too much like those she hates?
Spirodopoulos appeared almost glad that he can finally fight someone, who feels emotions and isn't just programed to fight, like a robot. You can use someone's emotions against them, their fear, their fury (angry people don't think, they just react).
Yes, he is not a fan of either government! He hates the Dominion even more, but he thinks Central Command could be pretty foolish, too.
I agree that patience is one of Macet's defining traits. He can certainly outlast an enemy!
As for Folani...this might be the first Cardassian she's seen since the Occupation. Her behavior was definitely disturbing, for sure.
And yes, I think Spirodopoulos was glad for the fact that the Cardassians aren't engineered killing machines. But more than being able to take advantage of that...I think there may also be an element of finally having a chance to fight man-to-man, if that makes sense.
Date: 21 Mar 2010 18:42 Title: Prologue
The Vorta's little "We're all friends" attitude was spot on.
Thanks for reading! I hope you'll enjoy what I have so far on The Thirteenth Order!
That attitude was something I remembered from Weyoun, and I figured the Vorta would all act like that.
Date: 24 Aug 2009 18:34 Title: Prologue
I loved the visual of the ship in the upper atmosphere and the intense lightning strikes. I honestly don't give a fig for technical purity in a story as long as whatever is happening at least makes sense. Excellent update!
Thanks...so glad you're enjoying it! :-)
Date: 01 Aug 2009 22:20 Title: Prologue
I'm glad I finally had a chunk of time to sit down and read this. I didn't want interruptions! I am extremely impressed with your ability to juggle multiple characters and perspectives without bogging down the narrative or losing track of the main plot.
I also think pacing in this is a huge strength. There are just enough pauses in the action to allow the reader to catch a breath and get a glimpse into the minds of the major players so that it's not one overwhelming battle scene. There is still enough action to keep it all flowing, and you convey the peril to the rebels extremely well.
I'm looking forward to seeing how this one ends!
Thank you very much! The pacing and scope of the story has been a serious concern of mine, so I'm very glad to know it's coming off well! :-)
Date: 28 May 2009 00:04 Title: Prologue
I just love your enterpretation of Gul Macet! He's just made of awesome! And I know I've said it before, but much love for the explanation of the beard. :oD
His deliberate hacking of the vorta's name is such a cleverly disguised insult. SO Cardassian! I love it! (Oh and again, I love you have your own words for certain Cardassian things. Like the language. Cardasda. Genius!)
The Trager. *sigh* The epic love story about a man and his ship. Beautifully written!
I also love your take on what happened on the Enterprise. Makes me want to watch that episode again and again!
WOAH! What a way to be hurled into the story! You had me from the very first line! And I JUST watched the episode your location is borrowed from, so it's wonderfully fresh in my memory! Awesome timing. :oD
"...the universal translator took one listen and gave up." This made me laugh in the middle of all the deadly seriousness.
On to next chapter!
Glad you enjoy it! :-)
And yes..."The Wounded" and "The Siege of AR-558" were both SUCH powerful episodes!
Date: 02 Apr 2009 13:46 Title: Prologue
I really enjoyed this story. One thing I really like about fanfic -- possibly because I do it myself -- is when authors take a niche, be it a less-explored character, a less-explored alien race, an unexamined time period, etc -- and make it their own, delving very deeply into it and truly understanding it, without at the same time demonizing everyone *else* in the canon. You've done that with the Cardassians. Your creation of their language rings right to me as an amateur linguist who's invented languages for fan projects myself; your extrapolation of their culture from the pieces that we saw in DS9 and TNG was very well done; and I enjoyed *all* the characters in this story. I was glad to see that the main human character doesn't instinctively like or trust the Cardassians and has to overcome his fears, and the fact that you remind us that he has good reason for those fears, however honorable the Cardassians he's dealing with now are. I was also glad to see that the Bajorans have an even harder time forgiving and forgetting. And I have loved the Cardassian gender politics of engineering since it was first introduced on DS9, so I'm glad you followed up with it here and made most of the engineers and techs women.
Thanks for reading! I do hope you'll stay tuned for future chapters...this is probably going to end up being one of my longest works ever. But then I have a lot of ground and a lot of characters to cover! ;-)
Glad the language is working out for you, too. If you see anything, though, that ever seems not to be working, please do let me know. I would very much appreciate your feedback!
I figured no matter how amiable a demeanor Macet was projecting, it was going to be very tough to get someone in Spirodopoulos' position to trust. I mean, things sure didn't LOOK good--and even the whole rebellion thing was a VERY tough pill to swallow. I think it may even have been AFTER he joined the rebellion, when he talked with Berat, when some trust started to form.
The Bajorans definitely have their reasons to be uneasy with this arrangement--though the younger Webene, who's had a comparatively larger percentage of his life in freedom is having an easier time with it than Ensign Folani. But keep an eye on some of the others, as well. There are some others who have reasons to be distrustful. Chief Librescu, for starters--he's a Cardassian War veteran. And the borderworlders, as well--being near the DMZ area can sure lead to some hard feelings...
The gender politics are fun. ;-) I'll give you a bit of a spoiler as to HOW they got that way: in Cardassian society, when the men went off to war, the women were expected to keep house. BUT...in the Cardassian definition, that included not just looking after the children, but making all other responsible decisions, be they financial or maintenance. So the women ended up learning how to do all of the repairs for the house, the car, and so on, and girls were raised seeing their mothers doing these things. So girls ended up getting an edge in experience over their brothers--hence the female superiority in engineering/sciences.
Of course, some men are good engineers too. Topak is--and Berat...HE really has an amazing mind for it. Now, advancement for women into the command track is a lot harder than it is for men in the engineering track, though. Gul Rebek came up through the engineering track. That's part of why I depict her as tinkering with the hunter array when she's off duty--believe it or not, in Cardassian society, that's a "girly" habit. (And so is the fact that she STILL--even as a gul--does her own small repairs in her quarters.) From a gul who doesn't mind being thought of as very feminine, this is to be expected. ;-)