Date: 16 Oct 2010 03:52 Title: Chapter Eleven
Oh, I hate this chapter. I hate it because of Ngaer ;(
Spirodopoulos just passed his exam for the full commander. With Speros's "help", but he passed it. And passed it "more" than any other commander, because he "exam" was no simulation and he knew it.
It's good to see that some Cardassians joined them; they are probably happy to finally serve Cardassia, not the Dominion. It's not good that there still are cracks in the Thirteenth Order.
I liked the narration of the Macet's group fight. It was so torn and abrupt, perfectly showing the abruptness of the fight.
Yeah, Gruner got what he deserved!
It was a very tough chapter to write, because I really didn't want to kill her, but when I saw where that polaron cannon was placed, I knew that nobody else would be able to get that kind of shot off.
When I originally wrote it, I actually didn't remember the command test because it has been so long since I've watched TNG. But I definitely knew it was an important moment for Spirodopoulos. As for Speros, I'd be curious to know what you think that look was about, at the end of their section. And what about Daro and the role he is playing?
It's hard to imagine how there wouldn't be some cracks in the Thirteenth Order, with its being so new. Of course, to Gul Macet, this was a VERY inappropriate time for that kind of behavior, which is why he nipped it in the bud immediately.
And I'm glad you liked the fight--and Gruner's demise! :-)
Date: 15 Dec 2009 18:28 Title: Chapter Eleven
YES!!! That toad Gruner got roasted! Wasn't even man enough to face his fate out in the open.
I feel there will be more heroic sacrifices like Ngaer's before it's all over. :(
And Macet! Yikes! I don't want to be at the wrong end of that!
BWAAAHAHAHA! I knew you'd love that! I was SO happy when I got to write him getting fried.
Ngaer, on the other hand--that was tough, definitely.
As for Macet, HE doesn't like it any more than you or I do. He's putting on an act to try and get Uradnen to crack, hoping she'll think he's a lot more like his cousin (the canon version!) than he really is.
(What's hilarious is that the alternate version is actually quieter and gentler in basic personality than Macet!)
Date: 15 Oct 2009 13:01 Title: Chapter Eleven
Awesome to see how Spirodopoulos' soldier instincts kick in at crunch time. I swear my pulse raced right along with his!
I also kinda expect Spero to shine here.
NOOO! Bird chick getting shot down! *wail*
Woah, Macet really knows how to threaten a true Cardassian. It's actually kinda scary.
And a cliffhanger ending! GAH! More!
Macet IS really scary here, especially since this is way out of character for him.
And glad to know Spirodopoulos feels cnvincing as a soldier! :-)
Date: 30 Jun 2009 15:27 Title: Chapter Eleven
As much as what I said over on TrekBBS upon reading the first part of this segement. This was excellent! I think what I particularly liked was the pacing, the ebb and flow of the battle scenes in addition to the different circumstances each party finds themselves in. Each grouip has their own tone and mood as the plan unfold and the fighting commences.
A clever and unique tactic to take out the canon and what a shameful waste too. Speros was much more ready to allow nager to sacrifice herself but even Spirodopoulos assented to the suicidal course of action. I understand that she willing accepted the course of action having dreamt it up and putting it forward knowing full well the end result. But still, not too often we get to see such unhumanoid like aliens and to see one charred so after such a brief moment of introduction was sad. BUt fair play to her guts and her call to duty.
Lots of action but with a lot of thought and reflection too. A careful balance that makes for great reading. Left wondering at the end, like Spirodopoulos, what the quizzical look from Speros was about.
Macet's battle with the Jem'Hadar soldier was gritty and tough. It was quite violent but not overly so - just rather dramatic enough to add a little uncertainty into the equation. It was handled very well.
Again, not simply action in this second part. We have Macet trying to control his temper in dealing with the Andorian and the differences among this troubled alliance. Great atmosphere of tension and fraught alliances. This is then followed up with meeting those who work for the Dominion and would hold them prisoner for their beliefs in a Cardassai free of the Dominion yolk.
Great stuff Nerys.
I'm very glad you're enjoying it, and that you don't feel like I'm burdening the battle too much by having thought in it as well! That was definitely something I was concerned about.
As I think I may have said back on the TrekBBS...I think Ngaer's death is sad, something to be mourned--but I would not call it a waste. She knew very well what she was doing, and she did it to save other lives. So to me...it's tragic but not a waste.
I'm curious to know (and feel free to drop a PM)...what do YOU think that look from Speros was about?
Thank you so much for reading! :-)
Date: 25 Jun 2009 23:16 Title: Chapter Eleven
I still wince quite a bit at Ngaer's ending. Regardless, you do a good job conveying the confusion and pace of battle here; heck of a cliff-hanger to end it on, too! Macet continues to endear himself to me in your stories, and it's a pleasure seeing Berat in action here, too.
I'm glad you like Macet--even though he was having to say some very harsh things here...that tells me I'm doing a job of getting across the idea that he didn't like what he was saying at all.
And I'm also glad you're enjoying Berat! Believe me, you haven't even seen HALF the stuff this guy is going to cook up... ;-)