Date: 24 Apr 2014 19:00 Title: Final act: Joining the Maquis
Given that they've burned their bridges and embraced a vendetta against the Cardassians it is only logical that the only recourse for both women is to join the Maquis. Another stepping stone in the tale of the Lambada Paz crew.
Date: 24 Apr 2014 18:57 Title: Act Three: Justice Served
Oh now that IS twisty. Having Limis go to S31 in order to find out who was behind the attack and find a means of exacting revenge - it ain't justice that driving them even if in principle it is the seeking of justice that is their cause. But it is a dark dark place for Limis to willingly ensnare herself. I can see why she would do it, she's driven and knows that for things to happen then she needs to go to the people who make things happen. Alas, Sullivan allows Limis to do this action. Sullivan is grieving and wanting to lash out but we see here she willingly accepts the action taken by Limis, even admitting as much as that she wouldn't have accepted it years ago. Her parents' death changes that. It's allowed Sullivan to go to a dark place in her morals where viligante revenge acts as justice. That's the horror of these situations and how morals get twisted by passions and grief.
Date: 24 Apr 2014 18:49 Title: Act Two: Tracking the Perpetrators
There's always a sense of greater injustice when hands are tied by politics and justice is failed and not served adequately. You paint a clear picture as to why certain people are headed on a road of rebellion against Starfleet and all they once held dear. There's a lot of context here that helps to ground new unfamiliar readers but some of it can be a little like exposition especially if tracts are repeated. The focus on the characters is good however, and it is an interesting facet that Limis has this connection with Sullivan and has already had a burned scorned past with Starfleet so that no allusion remains of it being a utopia.
Author's Response: I've heard one should avoid "bald exposition". With prose writing, it does necessary to put everything into context. It's not like I would throw in points that are in no way relevant to the story at hand. But glad you enjoyed the focus on the characters and what drives them on the path they're on. Cal Hudson is a peripheral example of that, I would say, having him parrot the usual platitudes before he had decided he had enough.
Date: 24 Apr 2014 18:41 Title: Act One: A Terrible Crime
It's a stark introduction of what made the fire in Rebecca's blood burn so strong against the Cardassians. You've stipped it of any emotional overtones. It's very bare bones, almost factual but it in its way it works to not over sentimentalise the scene and to show how it crystalised a moment in Sullivan's life that would brand the rest of it.
Author's Response: I thought so, too. This scene helps plant the first seeds of going rogue.
Date: 03 Sep 2012 04:42 Title: Act Three: Justice Served
Oh my gods, Section 31 has its own divisions?! Just how far out do they spread!?
Very good in planting the seeds for future conflict in the DMZ.
Author's Response: The thinking being that Section 31 is organized in cells much like the Obsidian Order, and possibly the Tal Shiar.
Date: 01 Sep 2012 18:20 Title: Act Three: Justice Served
How she got there didn't bother me at all - I just figured that came from the info on the data rod. What did bother me is what this act will ultimately cost Rebecca in personal/moral terms. It may feel good, and satisfying at this moment, when her grief is still fresh and raw, but how will she view it in say, ten years? Has this act irrevocably changed the person she was, and inadvertently molded the person she will become?
Not to mention, how will all this impact her friend Limis, for surely the powers that be will be able to piece things together and know it was she who provided Rebecca with this sensitive, classified information.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the exploration of the deeper philosophical issues. It is mostly exploration of who succumbs to revenge and who is willing to consider the long-term implications of ones actions, even throwing in Picard's rather grandiose claim about humanity in the 24th century.
Date: 01 Sep 2012 16:16 Title: Act Two: Tracking the Perpetrators
And despite the treaty, the plan is to do nothing - exactly the kind of thing that leads to frustration with the system and people taking matters into their own hands. Why do I feel like that's gonna happen here?
Date: 30 Aug 2012 02:13 Title: Final act: Joining the Maquis
So that's how Rebecca got into the Maquis, good job explaining that and I'm also impressed you didn't make the killing of that gul a big thing. Some authors would exposited like crazy the moments before Rebecca fired that fatal shot. I prefer your method; it just happens and in some ways that is more powerful...
Author's Response: Along with more back and forth trash talk. Glad that someone appreciated that particular moment wasn't overplayed in favor of more focus on the main characters descent into darkness.
Date: 30 Aug 2012 01:48 Title: Act One: A Terrible Crime
So that's what got Rebecca into the Maquis, and what spawned her hatred of Cardassians. It's interesting that your focusing more on Rebecca because nearly always in your Lambda Paz stories she seemed more a background character.
Gonna be interesting seeing to what depths she'll descend to in this story...
Date: 29 Aug 2012 23:55 Title: Final act: Joining the Maquis
So, just like that, off Rebecca goes, throwing away whatever her life was before.
Author's Response: For one, she was in the 24th century version of a dead end job and family was one of the coping mechanisms in a stagnant life. Take that away, one's life is already ruined. Granted, that would beg the question of why 24th century humans in the Trek universe would turn to lives of crime (i.e. joining the Orion Syndicate), but it does seem to happen. Secondly, the Trek universe tends to favor portraying the hiding out in caves aspect of being in a dissident group. They still lead regular lives while engaging in more subversive activities on the side.
Date: 29 Aug 2012 23:53 Title: Act Three: Justice Served
I feel like things were skippe (e. g. how she got in there). Hmm.
Author's Response: That Section 31 was involved should've made that clear. And since the story is more about the process of how a person goes from trusting in the justice system to seeking revenge, so any drawn out fight scenes would have strayed from that.