You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 Jul 2012 00:30 Title: Afterword Epilogue

I have to agree with what's been said earlier, that was a heartwrenching scene to get through losing that person. I think the lack of characterization certainly did NOT make the loss any less tragic. Certainly a very real danger of the trade.

Loved Zef's first words on the planet, that was priceless. You did a really great job with this piece for the challenge and it definitely felt right at home in between "First Contact" and ENT. Well done!

Author's Response: thanks very much Temp. Glad that it worked for all.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 19:30 Title: Chapter 4: January 2065

I won't go into a lot of detail here, Mac, because you already know my thoughts on this, but it bears repeating that this was a nail-biting, heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat chapter.  I applaud you no end for having the courage to have it play out as you did.  As I said before, it adds a sense of realism and believability that would have been lacking had you done otherwise IMHO.  It really captures the thrill and dangers of early space flight.



Author's Response: You're most kind still. Initially as I wrote I was going to have her saved but then thought that 'space is darkness...' etc and couldn't go that route. My bug bear is that I likely didn't flesh out Libby enough for people to care but it was emotional to write all the same.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:42 Title: Prologue, November 21st 1963

A really fitting entry to the Pages from History challenge Mac. It really had a wide spanning feel to it, even though it dealt with the Bonaventure mission alone, the sense of tying different aspects of Trek lore in small ways (even loving ways from a fan) gave it a larger scope in feel. It really lent weight to the whole proceedings, a sense of history, of looking back on our own personal journeys with Trek, the characters, settings and made up history of it all. A very well done job.



Author's Response: Your comments flatter and are thanked in all ways. Space has always intrigued me ever since I was young and read about Apollo then it merged with Kennedy and part of the original challenge was going to constrain it to this period -to see what people could do out of their zone but also with this barely told period. This was one giant step at a time when humanity more so than any other war is on its knees. I always get the feeling that after WWIII mankind is weary, is tired and finally enough is enough. Of course things like Terra Prime and all the rest will happen but...United Earth is reality, Alpha Centauri and the planets... "...to do the other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard."

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:25 Title: Chapter 7: June 2066

Cool beans. Loving the fan-continuity here Mac. And of course, Zef is indeed one mad bastard. Ha!

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:18 Title: Chapter 6: 16 May 2066

Can I say, maybe others have read something like it before, but I never had. Land on an asteroid, fuel up and blast off at faster speeds. Novel. Mad. Fitting.



Author's Response: It's madness for sure. My knowledge of science can be woeful.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:15 Title: Chapter 5: May 2066

A mad scheme by Cochrane. He has the theory but will it work. A mad gamble to take so late in the proceedings but it seems to be a hallmark of the reckless, drinker who wanted to make a gamble of warp flight in order to make his fortune before seeing the light of what his achievement could bring. But it seems Zef wants to outrun his destiny in ways and risk it all. But then, that's all the mad inventor genius in him too. 

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:08 Title: Chapter 4: January 2065

Aw man; agony of agonies. It seems that in Trek they usually get saved at the very last minute but it seems more true that they were limited in their ability to rescue Libby. A good moment for high drama as this and to hit home the stark reality of the situation and the dangers they face at this early days stage.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:02 Title: Chapter 3: November 2064

More history happening, the formation of a united Earth offscreen as well as the first big emergency to contend with in the mission. I have to say though the Boston Legal thing was quite a distraction from the story though. A fun nod for sure but a distraction.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 17:58 Title: Chapter 2: March 2064

More sense of history being distilled here - between setting up the Archer family business and the accords with Vulcan about how Man should go about creating warp drive. The tensions that appear at the start of ENT are clearly seen here, being formented by some, keenly felt by others and others yet seeking to look simply to the future. The future of a united Earth, a future of Man out among the stars and maybe even working happily with the Vulcans.

I also love the fact that in stark contrasts, Cochrane punctures the seriousness of the situations with how he handles the situation - seemingly getting space sick, tying himself into a cot rather than face being weightless, etc; and then he comes out with speeches, albeit it short, that are about Man reaching for the stars no matter what, yet urging restraint in terms of getting it right not proving a point to Vulcans.



Author's Response: I wonder if the encounter with Riker and co shaped Cochrane or maybe he was going to be that way. He must've had some vision, some ideal to build the Phoenix judging by his character in First Contact. It's possible cliche for him to be spacesick but these virgin days of space travel perhaps it makes sense.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 17:51 Title: Chapter 1: February 2064

Into the great beyond, a great big push forward here. I like the manner in which it is handled and the ties to First Contact and ENT with Cochrane, Lily and Archer as well as the fan nods such as Bonaventure. Good stuff.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jul 2012 17:46 Title: Prologue, November 21st 1963

I wondered at the title and where I might have heard and why it seemed familiar. Lo and behold I am shocked at my lapse in memory. Quite an intriguing manner in which to open proceedings but it certainly harks back to the early days of space exploration and what is no doubt to follow in the story.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 19:04 Title: Afterword Epilogue

A fitting end, a heroic, beautiful end.



Author's Response: my thanks. I don't think I've written such a lengthy piece for a challenge. It didn't seem right to curtail man's first foray out of the Solar System.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 19:03 Title: Chapter 7: June 2066

Good tie-in to Jonathan Archer, and also to the Zef Cochrane we know from TOS.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:56 Title: Chapter 6: 16 May 2066

I love the last line!

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:52 Title: Chapter 5: May 2066

A plan - and the seeds of the mistrust of the Vulcans, too.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:48 Title: Chapter 4: January 2065

How sad, and very, very realistic. There are bound to be all sorts of errors and screwups.



Author's Response: That moment came as I was listening to the First Contact soundtrack, the very moment Libby is sent spinning away happened quite literally as the music sounds that accompanied the Borg drone flying off into space...very emotional chapter to write really.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:41 Title: Chapter 3: November 2064

Ah - so our intrepid travelers will take less than 4 years to return home. Good, practical good faith move by the Vulcans.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:38 Title: Chapter 2: March 2064

True, Zef. I'm reading this on the day we learned Sally Ride passed away - so it's holding more meaning for me.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:36 Title: Chapter 1: February 2064

Very exciting; easy to feel you're on your way with them.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2012 18:33 Title: Prologue, November 21st 1963

Beautiful start; let's see how this goes. Very "Right Stuff" feel so far.

You must login (register) to review.