Date: 01 Aug 2013 15:07 Title: Epilogue
A second chance for Malcolm and Charlotte?
Really liked the way this story wraps up and the little epilogue which ensures a most unlikely second encounter of sorts thanks to the power of cosmic coincidence.
Great story and quite the ride you took us on. Well done.
Oh, I thank you! I just adored researching and writing this. It was absolutely a labor love. :)
Date: 01 Aug 2013 15:04 Title: Chapter 5
Answers at last.
That's why people shouldn't mess with time travel. 9 times out of 10 things will just go wrong and then look what kind of mess you make.
But all's well that end's well it would appear, even if Malcolm had to learn, once again, that he simply cannot catch a break with the ladies when he falls for the most unattainable woman he's ever met. Poor dude.
All is not lost .... ;)
Date: 01 Aug 2013 15:01 Title: Chapter 4
I'm totally impressed how you managed to capture the language and maybe even more importantly, the tone, of this era. That's not easily done and and no point do we not feel like we're truly in colonial times.
And I really like how eager Malcolm is in helping his savior and hostess, fully understanding that there is very little he can do by himself in this time. Not just as far as trying to return to his own time, but also, surviving in this unfamiliar world he has landed in.
The diaries and letters are an especially nice touch, a natural stand-in on what would have formed an entry into once personal log in the distant future, it gives us a great view deeper into these characters thoughts and feelings.
Now the questions is, who is Lennox and is he the solution to Malcolm's dilemma?
All will be revealed.
And, yes, of course, the letters and diaries are absolutely stand-ins for personal logs. I'm so glad you picked up on that.
Date: 01 Aug 2013 14:56 Title: Chapter 3
Talking about an unfamiliar world, you're doing a great job here of filling it with fascinating characters who sound perfectly at home in this time and place, making it even more obvious how much out of place Reed is.
And then of course there is the mystery of what has happened to Malcolm, which is as much as a mystery to him as to the reader. Who is the dreamer, indeed?
I have a Philosophy background, and so the story gets existential pretty quickly.
Date: 01 Aug 2013 14:54 Title: Chapter 2
Alright, this went into a strange place quickly, though I suppose the title gave as a clue of where we may end up.
The opening here was wonderfully jarring to both the unexpected Malcolm and the equally unexpected readers.
Now a 22nd century Starfleet officer will find himself in a world totally unfamiliar to him. Let the hijinks commence.
Let the hijinks begin ....
Date: 01 Aug 2013 14:41 Title: Chapter 1
And we're off to bad omens. Man, I always knew this massive collider/accelerator thing buried in Switzerland was bad news. Now, is is going to be responsible for the end of life as we know it?
Well, whatever happens, it will have an affect on the Enterprise and/or her crew.
A great teaser for what sounds like an intriguing story.
Aw, thanks! As I was writing this, the Higgs Boson was found, so the connection was hard to resist.
Date: 26 Jul 2013 21:33 Title: Chapter 5
I'm almost sorry to see Malcolm's time in the past end. The setting was very engaging, as were all the players in it. I find myself hoping Charlotte gets the children she wishes for and that Wilbur has a good life and that Lennox does.
I don't much care for Section 31 as a premise, but you pull it off nicely and in an era that is unexpected. It makes me wonder if they're not the fledgling version of the TIC.
I like the idea of the TIC and the Section being related. The way I write the TIC, I think there has to be more or less that same level of secrecy, as otherwise you end up with families trying to get you to tweak the past in some way or another, so that they end up healthier, or taller or better-looking or with more economic advantages or whatever. Even in a post-monetary society, there are people who are smarter or are better-connected. What if you could change that? The Commission would be under all sorts of pressures unless they did their work in top secrecy - and that makes them more or less descendants of the Section.
Date: 26 Jul 2013 21:15 Title: Chapter 4
Ooh, and the plot thickens. Malcolm still seems to be clinging to the scenario ideal. Charlotte definitely seems to be a living, breathing foreshadow. Lennox is, of course, a mystery. If he is a TIC agent, at least he doesn't come across as an arrogant snot.
All of the details and characters are charming. Malcolm doing his best to learn is very endearing, too. Plus, who knows when you might need these seemingly archaic skills? ;-)
Hey, ya never know when you might need to milk a cow. ;)
Date: 26 Jul 2013 20:40 Title: Chapter 3
It's good to see Malcolm putting it all together. But perhaps even more good is how you don't treat the people of this time period like idiots or savages or unintelligent neanderthals. They are obviously capable of ration and reason and are only behind in actual knowledge. It really is refreshing to see, so kudos on that.
I definitely didn't want them to be dumb - even Benjamin, who doesn't necessarily have too much formal education. But there's no reason whatsoever for him to be stupid.
Date: 26 Jul 2013 20:30 Title: Chapter 2
Well, there is madness in the air here. Malcolm seems to be taking it shockingly well, but that may well be dawning shock for his circumstances, too. Lord knows how any sane person can slot that kind of thing in.
As for the writing itself, it's well paced. You capture the color well. I'd love to smell more of it, too. I kind of hope Lennox lives, given both his age and seeming common sense, though I'll allow that I might not feel the same way if he turns out to be a right bastard.
There's a lot going on there. I know the area, and it is a big village green, still.
Date: 26 Jul 2013 20:18 Title: Chapter 1
That is a fairly terrific opener. I like the look back at 2053. If nothing else, it suddenly makes Trek seem within our realm and region. It gives more context to what the reality will hopefully be by the time you get to the twenty-second century, provided we don't screw it up here on Earth.
The pacing in the second half of the chapter was really good, too. It's been years since I watched Enterprise, but you bring it back nicely. And talk about a nail-biter chapter ending.
Thanks! I truly adored writing this one.
Date: 30 Jul 2012 17:42 Title: Chapter 1
Very, very nicely done, jespah. I love stories that weave all aspects, all series and movies of Trek together, with a splash of real life thrown in. This is the third one I've read so far for this challenge that managed that very nicely. I also like how you were able to incorporate threads from your own personal canon as well. This was truly a pleasure to read!
It's a tough vote this time around. I'm glad I got it across the way I was planning. :)
Date: 29 Jul 2012 10:35 Title: Chapter 3
I am picturing everyone in this setting to be played by the cast of Enterprise, much like the DS9 episode "Far Beyond the Stars." Nicely done!
By the way, Malcolm could have said he was a marine infantryman, possibly reassigned to assist with troop shortages...though somehow I doubt they had the same kind of role as marine troops do today.
Ah - I didn't know there was such a thing as a marine infantryman, although I suppose it works that he either wouldn't know or wouldn't recall during so many weird things happening.
And, thank you! I really loved writing this one.
Date: 28 Jul 2012 19:11 Title: Chapter 4
Wow. This is turning into quite the mystery. Very intriguing and ... well weird. I love the fact that Reed is not alone in being displaced and that it is the same for Lennox too. More than that, it seems Lennox is from a future future to Reed. So he gets to be behind the time and of the lesser advanced era. Just to add to his confounded situation. Ha!
Yep - the shoe is on the other foot, and Reed's one of the primitives.
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:53 Title: Chapter 2
Well that's a doozy of a sideways take on things jespah. Firstly, well done on that. Great moment of wait a minute, hang on there, what the bananas?! Secondly, the moment of Reed finding himself in the middle of the war is something else. A real swashbuckling, historical novel feel to it. It evoked for a moment one of the historical naval seawarfare books like Hornblower, Aubrey or Quickwater. But of course, not so for our man Reed as he doesn't fare well on water. So we get a Sharpe kinda moment of warfare. Well done. Not the foggiest as to what has happened. Maybe its Q? Ok it if were TNG I'd have wagered so. So I'm going to assume it might be Daniels or some anomaly of the experiment gone wrong. Intriguing.
Not Q! But a tie-in to other things. Oh, I'm so glad - that moment of - huh, why am I outside? I'm glad that came across.
Date: 28 Jul 2012 18:45 Title: Chapter 1
Ooooo. Quite a start. Firstly, I loved so much about ENT and it is always a treat to read an author's expansion on it. I also love the fact you are tying into the beginning of the Xindi War arc with the beginning here, raising the suspicions that maybe the Klingons proven to be agressive could be the party behind the mysterious and deadly attack on Earth.
Thank you - I wanted to start things off with a quite literal bang. Plus this places us (I'm glad you see that) at the moment before they've been debriefed and Florida's been bisected and they are in the dark.