Date: 31 May 2014 15:32 Title: Chapter 1
An intriguing start to this little universe it has to be said. There are some errors in spelling that are a little glaring I should say from the off because I think they detract from the potential of this saga. Kader is a character who is an engineering prodigy it seems, should be a Starfleet starlet, and yet he is leaving it to venture out into his own. Now we've had characters like this before, but what's different here is Kader's anger and motivations for leaving. He's more than merely disillusioned with Starfleet and the only others whom we have seen like this before are those characters who went to join the Maquis. But this is before that time, and the motivations are slightly different and result in a different agenda.
Also different this time round is the fungi virus and the impact. I remember reading a sci-fi book years ago (but not the book) that explored the devastating impact of cultured crops being spread about the universe and the potency of viral contimination on a galactic level. It's only likely and fitting that such could happen in Trek (and I'm remiss in not recalling whether it ever did or not). It is also a very compelling motive for Kader to leave Starfleet behind and to seek out his own path as a rogue civilian. Goodie or baddie? Threat or thorn in the side? All is up in the air here, which is fab.
I wonder at what path lies before Kader and the Monkey Wrench. The name, by the way, is a fantastic choice - oddball, screwy, very civvie in feel and of course, fits perfectly with Kader's background in engineering. However, is there a monkey wrench in the works with Starfleet Intelligence likely to be keeping tabs on Kader? All in all, very fascinating premise and one filled with potential.
Date: 24 Jun 2012 20:39 Title: Chapter 1
I saw this in the Most Recent list and thought I would give it a read.
This chapter draws you in, and I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or the first part of a longer story (I'm hoping the latter, since you called it "Chapter 1"). Malcolm appears to be kind of a dynamic character in his level of give/take versus rigtheousness, his departure from Starfleet laced with a kind of break with a long-held religion, almost. The only concern I have is that in spite of the time spent in explaining that through dialogue, I don't know that much about him outside of his outrage.
I sincerely hope to see/read more on this story.
Author's Response: This is like an origin blip for the guy. I'm working on a story about him 4 years later.
Date: 24 Jun 2012 02:54 Title: Chapter 1
Kader's reasons to hand in his Starfleet badge are about as good as they get. Starfleet's supposed moral superiority isn't quite as flawless as Admiral Jones would like to think. Kader's arguments were strong and well conceived and I couldn't help but agree with most of them.
Interesting how you managed tp weave in a bit of history as well as cybernetics into this tale.
Author's Response: Details and coherency matter a lot to me, maybe it the mechanic in me. I've got a time line put together to keep everything in place. I was going to have the Enterprise at Jupiter station, but then I discovered that Enterprise B went off line in '29 and Enterprise C went online in '32, so I decided to be vague about the other ships present.