Date: 12 May 2012 16:40 Title: Chapter 1
I loved how the the theme of sacrifice was woven throughout the different plot threads of this. The dreams were incredible, as others have said, and the ending was just lovely.
Thank you very much! Lili is very much defined by her subconscious. I love to get into her head and write her dreams.
Date: 05 May 2012 14:43 Title: Chapter 1
Everything I would say has been said above. The dreams were incredible, the reflection on his personal sacrifices, finally coming around and sacrificing what he thought he needed to finally have what he truly needed - applause, applause! Loved it. Perfect for the prompt, and definitely a great take on the theme.
Thank you, I am humbled.
For the dreams - the idea that your sins blind you was sitting right in the front of my mind when I was writing. I also wanted Lili (who is a character very much definied by her subconscience - her first meetings with Doug are in shared dreams, after all) to be comforted by someone like Jay, who she knew, and Ian, who she could never know in life. For Lili to know, on some level, that it's not completely over (and who's to say the fellows won't visit Melissa at some point and tell her that as well?), is to give her the courage to go on. She just needed to know that it wasn't completely over, and that she had the okay. For Malcolm, he also had to know that he had the all-clear, and Doug had to almost rap him on his uncomprehending head to bring the point home - stop screwing around. Don't touch metal; it's no substitute. Go home and touch her. Quit kidding yourself that this is somehow good enough.
Date: 05 May 2012 10:54 Title: Chapter 4
Very nice finish. Nice to see Malcolm come full circle, and understand the sacrifice he should have made; see him finally do the right thing with respect to what's really the most important thing in the end.
Thank you so much!
He suddenly had to know - I've been going about this all wrong. And the great big gaping maw in the middle of the family can only be filled by him.
Date: 05 May 2012 10:47 Title: Chapter 3
Wow! Totally floored, jespah. I love how you're handling the dreams and the afterlife and the mingling of souls between the two universes. And the idea of sacrifice - sometimes when we think we're making sacrifices with regard to what's most important in our lives, we cling to the belief that we're doing the right thing - even if we're not.
I gotta tell ya, I was most nervous about this part, and seriously considered leaving the dreams out of it. But Lili is very captivated by her own subconscience, so who better to let her know that she can go on than the people of her dreams?
I also wanted to give an explanation as to why, of all of the myriad multiverses out there, we see the MU the most. It matters the most to us, because, in a lot of ways, those people are us. But they're individuals, too, which is why the names don't match. Ian in particular has to separate himself from what he was because he was a truly horrible individual.
I wanted Doug to really press hard on Malcolm, and tell him to look past the cuff and the dreams and the ship and remember the things that are most important. Malcolm's been using all sorts of crutches and denials and pretending that they're good enough, but they really aren't.
Date: 05 May 2012 10:27 Title: Chapter 2
Great chapter. The eulogy was bittersweet, and it's nice to see the family stepping up and taking charge now that Malcolm has been called back to duty. Small sacrifices, but they are often the ones that are the most important...
Yes, thanks! I really wanted Malcolm to acknowledge that the man in Declan's life wasn't him - it was Doug. And Neil (who I haven't written too much of), I wanted him to step up and realize - I'm needed here.
Date: 05 May 2012 10:10 Title: Chapter 1
Ouch! Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. Travis between what his wife wants and what's best for Malcolm, and Hoshi having to defend the decision to go against orders to the admiral. A very Kirkian dilemma. Can't wait to see how you manage it. ;-)
Thank you - I looked up the Klingon Neutral Zone and there apparently isn't a beginning date for it in canon. Hence, it's got to be established some time between ENT and TOS. And ... well, let's face it, a lot of the presence there is just to show strength and nothing more.
For Ellen - I used to work where I was gone about 200 days every year (so I was Travis in that scenario). It takes its toll on everyone. Also, the implication by chapter #3 should be that Travis is even later than he expected. Does Ellen stick around? I'm doubtful.
And Hoshi (like you do with Christine), I wanted her to grow a spine and say no, this is more important. Give him this (and the earlier statement that he couldn't be there for the baby's funeral - how could he again not be there?).