Date: 12 Sep 2013 08:42 Title: Chapter 1
Well, doesn't this story look familiar. ::grins a bit:: Anyway. Since I got to hear it read, it almost feels like cheating! Things I like: That you didn't just take the opportunity to make Pon farr into porn far. (Wow. I never realized you could do that with words.) Here, it's definitely presented as a serious issue. I also like that the tragedy had wider repercussions, too.
What I didn't like: T'Pol's characterization. It looks to me (thus being purely subjective) overblown and borderline disrespectful. Not in the sense she couldn't commit these deeds, but in how she's actually being written here. Pon farr might make Vulcans act hormonal and hyper emotional and perhaps more than a little extreme, but I've yet to see one in canon cease to seem anything like themselves. However, here, she didn't come even remotely across as herself. She seemed more... a parody. I know this isn't what you meant, but from my subjective POV, it's how it comes across.
Overall, it's a kick of a story. Not, admittedly, one of my favorites of yours. I'd love to see you revisit it and smooth it out someday.
The idea was - this was written for a Trek BBS challenge - was to do a 'what if' scenario.
The Bounty episode does make her aggressive during Pon Farr, but it's related to the microbe mentioned in the story. The violence - I honestly can't recall, but then again Spock is violent in Amok Time so I put the two together. The heat and the harrassing of the doctor and coming onto Malcolm while in his EV suit - all of that is actually canon.
Thank you for reading.
Date: 12 May 2013 04:32 Title: Chapter 1
Well, first: DAMN.
That out of the way, I have to say I read this with wide eyes. Each turn just kept getting worse and worse. I was waiting for this to get better but, alas, not so much for the crew of the NX-01. I was sad to see Travis be the one to bite the dust. I don't remember a whole lot from Bounty but I do remember the decon scene (everyone made a fuss over it as I recall). You took that and spun it off into a compelling story.
Seeing the destruction T'Pol wraught while in pon farr was shocking. I didn't think she'd go as far as she did after Phlox and Travis and STILL need more. Seeing Hoshi kind of check out was sad, but it makes some sense to me as she and Travis were kinda close. Reed feeling guilty was also a good touch as, in that situation, I would too.
Seeing Archer call it quits sucked. A lot. I know he lost Travis but I would have hoped he'd stick it out to continue the mission. It was good of Archer to hand out all those promotions and I especially liked what he did for Hadon. She seemed to like him a lot and I was fearing her injury would bar her from any further Starfleet service. Good to see Archer come to her defense in his log and go to bat for her whenever she wanted him to.
Thank you very much - I had written this for a TrekBBS what-if style challenge and it got pretty much no love.
In another tale, Haddon gets to act on her attraction (and of course she was Chip's captive audience in the gerbil story).
Thank you for reading!