Date: 28 Oct 2012 14:58 Title: Chapter 1
Started reading your Inbetween series again, and the Calafans are an interesting race. You've definitely created something unique either plus you really fleshed out their culture, with their four stars, their currency and other things which is cool. Having read your first story, it's nice to see that things are working for Doug and Lili. I wonder if Doug and Lili really will have a 'night' partner but I doubt they are really going to follow the Calafan way of having two lovers; that's pretty weird.
I also like how you make the most of the actual dialogue with adding those 'uh's and 'er's and other hesitant sounds, which is an interesting feature.
Thank you very much!
I like uh, um, etc. because that's how people really talk. Otherwise, to me, it sounds a little too much like a play. Plus Doug is a kind of inarticulate guy.
The Calafans! Yes - they are totally on the make most of the time. They were originally just created as kind of amorphous alien of the week bad guys but then I decided I didn't want them to be so bad. Plus adding nuances - they have to eat something, their currency and counting won't be like ours, etc. - I want them to have dimensions, and I'm so happy that's getting across! :)
Date: 01 Apr 2012 14:03 Title: Chapter 1
Ah lovely jespah. Nice touches with the alien wedding ceremony. Strange, exotic and yet heartfelt in its details with a nice poetic feel to the proceedings.
Thank you very much - hey, our hearts have more than one chamber. ;)
Date: 01 Apr 2012 09:10 Title: Chapter 1
A baby and a wedding -- doesn't get much more feel-good than that! I love the alien ceremony, and the fact that it's different in details to a human one but similar in all the important ways. Very nicely done!
Thank you (plus they're building a restaurant. They are busy, busy folk!). I appreciate it.
Date: 31 Mar 2012 15:21 Title: Chapter 1
Hah! I figured out the first blue long before you revealed it. ;-) This was a perfect fit for the challenge. I love how you took a color associated with sadness and grief and made it into something wonderful, to be celebrated.
The alien wedding ceremony was quite something. I really liked how they didn't sweat the details, or the differences; it was all about two people who love each other pledging themselves to each other.
Thank you very much!
I write Lili as being a big-time fan of the color blue, so it started off that way and then I remembered, duh, sticks!
The alien ceremony/society is a lot of how I tend to write prime universe/mirror, that is to say, as yin and yang. Hence the phraseology is OUR days, YOUR nights, e. g. we are together in the sunshine but when you sleep, you are your own person. I wanted the alien society and ceremony to reflect a feeling that, for them, marriage and family are not about ownership (which is a bit of how they evolved on Earth). Hence, no rings and no surnames.
For Doug and Lili, I figured it would be almost like when Earth immigrants came to a new country and got married, if they didn't quite understand the language and customs. You'd be standing there, kind of wondering what to expect and some parts would be familiar whereas other would really knock you for a loop.
Date: 29 Mar 2012 17:41 Title: Chapter 1
A nice feel-good story, I liked how the characters were able to focus on their common values (e.g. their love for each other), but also celebrate their differences (the one-name thing). To me that is what Star Trek is about- unity through common values/goals, but also the ability to celebrate diversity.
Thanks! I enjoyed putting together what I hope feels like a rather alien ceremony and society but within it, the two humans can feel at home.