Reviews For Barnstorming
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Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 14:04 Title: The Stranger

Glad to see Daniels is finally taking some responsibility for what he has done. I shudder to think what the Mirror Government will do when he refuses to undo Jun's life.

That's a nice twist at the end, Daniels finally facing his own morality.

Author's Response:

Oh, thank you.

It is an uphill battle now, to try to get Jun to live. But at least now Rick's got a purpose.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 13:59 Title: The Stranger

Rick's cutting it kind of close, there, isn't he? He's risking becoming a fossil himself, which would really wreak havoc on the timeline.

Author's Response:

This one is definitely close - and it also gives him a chance to see what really happens afterwards. Octavia's not long for the world, and neither are any of the others.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 13:54 Title: The Stranger

Interesting that Daniels seems to be finding his conscience in a way about what he is doing.

I'm interested in the overall purpose of what Daniels and his party are doing. I know they travel back or forward in time for various purposes, but I have to wonder what the motive is for some of it? I'm guessing the larger story might make this clearer, and I'll be checking it out, now that I have more time to read this summer.

Author's Response:

Oh, thanks!

I write them as being escorts to historians, at least to start (although the HG Wells series's main driver is people mucking around in time and that has to be fixed). In a way, the historians are even more detached than he is - they're just taking measurements and the like, as if Betty and Irene and the others were just lab rats.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 13:40 Title: The Stranger

I like that you decided to bring in theatre here. Seriously, it's one of the only forms of entertainment the people had at this time in history, other than public executions.

The details you bring in are a nice touch. Many people don't realize how bad the sanitary conditions were in Renaissance Europe nor how much that affected the health of the people.

I half expected her to refuse to be with him, as the Renaissance people were very superstitious, and she would probably have thought it was some sort of sorcery that allowed him to seem older and younger at the same time.

Author's Response:

If I had had more words at my disposal, I'd have had him give her some sort of payment. She's not exactly a prostitute, but pretty close. In the original little ficlet, she tells him about the most marvelous invention she's ever seen. It turns out to be a milling wheel pulled by mules. Yet another reminder of his privilege.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 13:24 Title: The Stranger

Wait, so in the original timeline, she's supposed to end up with her second cousin?

I didn't think anybody in the mirror universe was friendly...and how's she supposed to disavow the Terran Empire when she looks distinctly Terran? I find myself wondering what happens to her. When Daniels beams out does he fix the whole timeline, which would put her back in the original history, or does she end up living there and disavowing everything? My guess would be that that depends on whether Daniels is successful in his beam out or if he ends up trying again, for the fifth time. And that, then begs the question of what happened to the first three?

Seems he's messing about more and more. Might be overstepping a bit before long, if he's not careful. 'Twill be interesting to see.

Author's Response:

I'm currently writing what happens - and have him dealing with this a good dozen times before he finally gets it right. Lots of ugly, weird little details to resolve, plus an arcane law on the books forbidding second cousin marriages throws another spanner in the works.

The changes in time - some are more acceptable than others. For this one, the problems are already there and need to be fixed, so there's more leeway.

And as for the MU, the way I write my Lafa System, they look rather human (Dana could cover her arms and hide pretty effectively, so long as she wasn't required to do anything requiring dream telepathy) and are rebels, sort of like Astérix.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 May 2015 13:11 Title: The Stranger

I find it interesting how Daniels tells the people he meets that he's "no one" and a "Stranger". Since he's a time traveler, I think that response is the one that probably makes the most sense, as people, especially those from the past, aren't going to understand the concept of time travel or the idea that worlds and peoples could exist beyond the far stars that we see.

I have to wonder, though, if Admiral Calavicci is not asking for trouble inviting one of her agents to "play" with the timeline. I suppose time will tell.

I know they were dressed to fit in with the rest of the people in the community, but I'm surprised Daniels and his historian friend weren't pegged as outsiders (someone unknown to the community) and therefore decried as a bad influence on the community and asked to leave. Maybe he wasn't there long enough, or maybe it was a large enough community that people didn't know all of their neighbors there. Hmm.

I'll be looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response:

Certainly they are outsiders, but the surveyor cover should help with that - they would be itinerants, and that would help to explain things.

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 06:17 Title: The Stranger

Oh, a very clever little kind of epiphany at the end there. He finally finds some purpose and some resolve. A lovely way to wrap up the series!



Author's Response:

Oh, thank you for reading and for your kind reviews!

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 06:12 Title: The Stranger

And the lesson is learned - he can't interfere. It almost harks back to Kirk and Edith Keeler; she had to die.



Author's Response:

Yep. I run the time travel part of my universe as there being acceptable levels of interference before it all goes belly up. Edith Keeler is another instance where interference will tea things too much.

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 06:06 Title: The Stranger

Ooh, some clever little bits of name-dropping there. And Rick is developing some swagger.



Author's Response:

Thanks! One thing about ENT was the temporal cold war and future guy. Why not make it future gal instead?

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 06:02 Title: The Stranger

Oh, so maybe he's just had a lesson in consequences!



Author's Response:

Big consequences here, but they are not quite big enough.

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 05:57 Title: The Stranger

You do very well in these little ficlets to vividly set the scene for each timeline - right down to the finer details (like the state of one's teeth!).

Rick's heart seems a little heavier with each story.



Author's Response:

Yes, every time, he is affected, although he isn't initially admitting that. People love to ask which time period others would like to visit, but before around 1940 or so, it would be horrible if you needed healthcare. Penicillin is a very good thing.

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 05:51 Title: The Stranger

Foiled again! And I get that Bond vibe too. Very cool.



Author's Response:

thanks!

Reviewer: Zilley Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 05:47 Title: The Stranger

A time-travelling Casanova? Intriguing! I get the sense from these few words that he is weary and somewhat despondent. His boss's suggestion might seem a superficial fix, but perhaps he will gain more from his experiences...?



Author's Response:

Carmen needs him. For this part of the timeline, he is her sole full-time time traveler. But at least it's just for observations. Plus he is a lonely single guy anyway. Thank you for reading!

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 09:03 Title: The Stranger

Well, he finally grew a conscience, which I'm glad to see. But I think it was too late for everyone else ... he left a lot of pain in his wake while trying to figure out who and what he was. I hope he can be a good father, that he can have redemption.



Author's Response:

As much as he can - which isn't much, but circumstances will dictate that. Jun is temporally paradoxical. First Born is about Rick's efforts (and Carmen's, too) to save Jun's life. Because the Mirror government is not going to stand on ceremony.

Many thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 09:00 Title: The Stranger

Man. Rick is looking at 18 year-olds now and thinking, "I'd like some of that." I think he has hit an all time low here. He didn't do anything, but to see him treat someone he didn't even know like a thing to be used was really quite disconcerting. He needs help.



Author's Response:

Welcome to rock bottom.

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 07:56 Title: The Stranger

Holy shit. I mean ho-lee shit. The one time he finally decides to be a human being, it's the time he megaotrically detonates another universe's timeline?  Sounds about right for our intrepid explorer. 

Interesting he invokes the name of Christ here. In a way, he's sort of an anti-God here, from a Christian perspective. While the God of Christianity sacrificed his son to save humanity, Rick is willing to sacrifice an entire universe to save his son.  It just reinforces his selfishness that the universe he's screwing isn't even his own. 

I'm curious to see how you resolve this, so clearly, I'm going to have to check the larger story out. 

Great job with these ficlets, Jes.  They've been thought provoking. 



Author's Response:

Many thanks. Jun is, in a way, like John Connor in the Terminator franchise. He does not belong. What I didn't have room to explain is that Jun displaces Kira (he's a he), the rightful heir to the throne. How you fix this (or at least minimize the temporal damage) yet allow Jun - an eventual tyrant, just like dear old Mom - to survive?

Stay tuned. ;)

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 05:16 Title: The Stranger

OMG! There's a twist and a turn up for the books. That was definitely different and yet it speaks to the man who kept seeking something but didn't know what. Obviously, more space and time would allow this theme to develop further but I think the first six ficlets did build towards that characterisation. This last ficlet perhaps rushes the conclusion but similarly the idea crystalises for Rick Daniels very suddenly too, so matches. Nicely done and a neat arc to these ficlets.



Author's Response:

I thank you. Rick's search for love (while having to adhere to the tyrannical prime timeline) is at the core of the Times of the HG Wells series.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 05:12 Title: The Stranger

He gets colder and more aloof by the instalment. And yet, each time he develops some sort of attachment or want with a woman of the time. It expresses some sort of need or want on his part. But throughout he remains this enigma and sort of stranger to himself and the reader for all of the surface reading of his cadish and at a distance personna.



Author's Response:

Bingo. Forced to be the unknowable, he chameleons his way right into that role, almost no matter what he does.

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 05:09 Title: The Stranger

Aw! Nice story to round this up, showing Rick having to deal with the consequences of his actions by going against the agency. Great stories all around, will need to use some of the review challenges this time around to catch up on the larger stories these are attached to. Well done!

Author's Response:

I thank you so much for reading and reviewing. And, yea, the timeline is a tyrant but he's got to go against it for Jun's sake.

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 05:07 Title: The Stranger

Nice call-back to Doctor Who here, still waiting for them to explain why the new Doctor chose Roman-Capaldi's face! :) Either way, an interesting use of the Pompeii disaster for your Rick journey this time round, with some true to history tidbits added in as usual to give it a realistic tone. These have been lots of fun!

Author's Response:

Oh, thank you. I adore this time period and need to find a way to write of it again.

Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 May 2015 05:04 Title: The Stranger

Nice tie-ins to both Enterprise and the pre-Federation Earth, I've always been intrigued by Colonel Green so it is nice to see a call back to him through his ancestor. And clever explanation of teh Future Guy. Nicely done once again!

Author's Response:

Thanks!

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 May 2015 11:48 Title: The Stranger

Huh, I was just reading about Pompeii earlier.

Cutting it close there, Rick.  You might have watched from a bit further away for the actual eruption!  Would be interesting if he became a fossil himself.

The way he looked at (and away from) Octavia was enough to make my stomach turn.  Eighteen or so?  Convenient assumption, Rick, but likely false, since in that day and age, she'd probably have been married by then, especially if she was so pretty.  But you know, whatever lets you off the hook mentally for being a grown-ass man planning to use a child for self-gratification ... and then leave her there to burn alive.

I thought you were going to have me liking him by the end of the week, but with one entry to go, I actually want to kick his ass.

Great writing, though.

 



Author's Response:

Possibly a bit of both. And yes, she would likely be closer to 16 or even 14. 

He has stem cell growth accelerator. He's hard to kill (it restores his cells from injury or disease at a rapid rate. But it hurts. A lot. All the pain, in a fraction of the time. But at least you survive such things). But yeah, they cut it too close. Seeing her at what are probably her last moments, that affects even our intrepid traveler.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 May 2015 20:46 Title: The Stranger

Man, Rick is really feeling the brunt of all this, isn't he? I sure hope he gets some counseling or treatment or something at the end of this. His travels through time are really taking a toll.



Author's Response:

And it's about to get worse. Thank you for reading.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 May 2015 16:15 Title: The Stranger

Oh dear and yet he gets results. I guess that's what drives him and keeps him at it. For all his confidence and audacity he still seems to want in some part to discover people. Even if he wants to keep himself at a remove.



Author's Response:

That's a rather perceptive observation. I wish I had more space with these. There can be a ton of detail in the past, and all the things they would want to know. It could be a fascinating job. But you also see things you can't unsee.

Thank you for reviewing.

Reviewer: Enterprise1981 Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 May 2015 11:29 Title: The Stranger

Nice breaking of the fourth in revealing Future Guy's, should I say, partial identity.



Author's Response:

Oh, thank you - and of course Horan is the actor who played Future Guy.

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