Date: 21 Jul 2014 10:48 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
It's an unusual way to end the tale in some ways. Often the epilogue in a trek episode or fanfiction ends with the chapter opening with a log entry. Here, however, you choose to end with a series of logs that update the reader on various progresses over the course of weeks. It's a swift neat tacit to fill in gaps and over the laborious weeks of constant repairs. It also shows how much Natale has to work on matters and present the air of the commanding officer, burying any personal feelings, weariness or grudge against Kirek, which stands to her character that she does so.
One thing you have to remember is that each chapter is originally a stand-alone short. But most of these five are under 2K words - the first alone being under 200 - and so I figured combining them into a collection would be a good way to introduce folks here to the crew.
That being said, in writing this particular piece, my go was to do precisely what you said: fill in some gaps. it was basically to serve as a summary of events leading up to the point where things were going to really start getting busy - looking at the chronology on the website, June of 2376 is a really busy month for the Sanctuary gang.
Thank you once again, Fave for giving my story(ies) a second read. I so value your input.
Date: 21 Jul 2014 10:36 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
A terse first meeting for sure. Both Natale and Kirek scored points in their arguments. I don't know if either of them conducted themselves to the best of their profession but given the circumstances for both of them, I'd say they both conducted themselves as best as they could muster. In fairness, Kirek needs to work a lot more to be personable and cooperative, whereas Natale was having to react to Kirek's behaviour. But the chapter shows just how tough it will be to get the station up and working.
I think Natale and Kirek are both frustrated and angry at the position they've been forced into. Neither of them wants to be working with the other (Starfleet with Cardassians, that is), they both wish they didn't have to, and being the career military officers they are, both are begrudgingly doing the job anyway. Although she lost her cool a time or two, Natale's clearly the more level-headed of the two, but yeah... they both probably did about as well as they could under the circumstances. Well, Kirek coulda been a lot more civil... He definitely needs to work on his people skills.
Date: 21 Jul 2014 10:25 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
Well in its own way, it did go well. I mean, no blood was spilled. Kirek obviously has beef with Starfleet. But, especially on reading it a second time round here, it really is only fair from his own perspective. It is a Cardassian station and Starfleet are crawling all over it. It is likely a slight to him, to Cardassia in his eyes that they should need Federation assistance. He's angry at Starfleet but I feel he may also be angry at Cardassian governments before that led their state to this position of need. The fact that we see him share a loving relationship with his daughter suggests very much that he is just an ordinary man. It is refreshing to get such inisghts from an 'enemy' point of view in a story. There are two other points to raise - the fact that here and in the previous chapter, Kirek's duagther seems to be a reassuring and calming presence - if she weren't there how might be react? and what if anything should ever happen to her? Also, neat to see that any a-hole behaviour is not limited to the Cardassians alone with Zram displaying quite a few hostile reactions.
I see Eton Kirek like this: a loving father, excellent soldier, and an angry man. We're seeing a lot more of the latter of the three because in many ways, he has every right to be angry. He's angry at the central command officers - namely Dukat, I'm sure, but also those who followed him - who got their own people into the mess they're in. He's angry that he lost a lot of friends and brothers in arms. He's angry because he believes (or rather, he wants to) that despite the fallacy by which they reached their present state of affairs, that the Cardassian people are strong and resilient, and that they are able to rebuild their society on their own. It angers him that despite this belief, it's clear that they can't. It angers him that his entire species is toeing the line between survival and extinction. He's angry at Starfleet because despite their own devastating losses, they're actually being the good guys still, holding out the helping hand he wishes Cardassia didn't need. He hates that they're better able to do what he wishes his own people could do, and I imagine he hates Starfleet simply because he's been taught to practically since birth.
As for Karejah being a calming influence, that ias true. It goes back to his being a loving father - she's his only child, and the one person in all the galaxy he loves more than his own life. He would do anything for her. She's also smart as a whip, so when she gives him advice or reminds him it's best he remain calm, he usually listens.
Date: 21 Jul 2014 10:16 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
So they arrive at Sanctuary as a name and a new possible home - certainly a new posting at least. Meantime, Sanctuary has arrived at Ad Astra. ;)
Interesting beginnings with Sanctuary as we get insight into how on the cuff much of this is happening - the surprise of the Cardassian involvement in the project is prime example of that and of course will lend to a few teething problems for sure as the challenges they face restoring the station are coupled with the challenges of one-time enemies working collaboratively towards a common goal. Makes for interesting times, no?
I'm sure glad to finally be posting some Sanctuary here!
The surprise of the Cardassians being involved was mainly due to a lapse in communication between the Federation and Cardassian governments. I'm sure that may happen again sporadically over the first few months until the right channels and people to contact are set firmly. It's sad, though - and certainly makes things tons more difficult for the crew, from both sides - for both of said governments to be invested in the project, but unable (or unwilling) to put more into it, be that through manpower or resources.
And yes indeed, former enemies working side-by-side toward the same common interest? Definitely interesting times ahead.
Thanks for re-reading again, Fave.
Date: 20 Jul 2014 18:29 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
Nice to get a chance to hear the captain's personal thoughts on the challenges she faces even 6 weeks into her assignment.
Personal logs are funny thing. I'm not so sure if I were so comfortable to lay bare my most inner thoughts like that. You never know who could manage to hack into those and listen in. From all we've seen I guess that's not a big concern for people in Starfleet.
I like Natale (even if she has a bit of a potty mouth) but she seems a little bit too defeatist on some subjects where I thought she was to quick to admit that she couldn't do anything about them. Of course there's little doubt she's in a tough spot. Sisko had it easy commanding a crew made up partly of Bajorans, mostly because he was a religious icon to them and Janeway had Chakotay to deal with her non Starfleet crew. No such support for Natale.
Personal logs for Starfleet officers, from what I gathered, are accessible to only a small number of people onboard any given starship or space station (unless, as you pointed out, you had the skills to hack through the security protocols). It's always been my understanding that only the captain, first officer, chief medical officer, and senior counselor could access them, and then only if it could be proved circumstances warranted doing so (like when Picard and Troi accessed Lwaxana's journals).
While I'm glad you like Natale, I have to say I disagree with your assessment that "she has a bit of a potty mouth". She only said one actual curse word and one substitute curse word. And "targ's behind" is hardly crude or filthy. She's not really being a defeatist, either. As the title of the chapter suggests, she's just venting her frustrations over all the difficulty she's been facing, both in dealing with the station and the conflicts between her crew. She knew from the beginning that things were hardly going to go smoothly, but she likely didn't realize the enormity of the challenge she was facing. Poor girl certainly got the short end of the stick.
As always, thank you so much for your input.
Date: 20 Jul 2014 18:14 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
Man, I bet Natale is wishing about now she could be in Sisko's shoes some seven years earlier instead. I mean sure, Kira was a handful at first but this first officer seems to be in a class of his own.
And she's not going to be the only one to have her hands full trying to run an old Cardasian station. This chief is going to need all of his four hands to keep the place from falling apart. Good news is, he can always put in a call to Miles O'Brien or whoever is keeping DS9 running these days for some hints.
Kirek is definitely a handful for Natale, but she does eventually put him in his place. And later on, he's going to develop a deeper respect for her. There's also more going on under his surface, so to speak, than I can reveal just yet.
And yes, Grafydd definitely has his four hands full as well! For the first four or five months, he and his crew are chasing one systems malfunction after the other. As for who's running DS9 right now... I honestly think Nog got Miles' job.
Once more, thank you for reading and commenting!
Date: 20 Jul 2014 18:02 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
I also enjoy here how well the various Starfleet crews are working together, to often do we see different captains and crews being rivals (I've been guilty of this too), instead of dedicated professionals all trying to accomplish the same goal. Now if only Kirek would see things this way.
Oh also appreciate the little details such as the fact that Natale's crew is mostly made up of green behind the ears ensigns, unavoidable after a war which has claimed so many lives.
In the aftermath of an extended conflict, Starfleet officers and crews can hardly afford petty rivalry. Right now they're facing the greatest loss of personnel and assets the organization has ever seen, not to mention that the Federation is likely in a recession.
Though it helped a great deal in getting along if one considers the history behind the characters: Natale and Wallace have known each other since their Academy days, and he in turn served under Regan during her brief tenure as the captain of his ship. Of course, I understand that the reader isn't going to know this right off hand - though it is revealed in a later story how long Synnove and Brian have been friends, the Wallace-Regan connection is only on my website in the Timeline article (which is located in the Information Database). It may, however, come up in a story sometime down the road, if I'm struck with the urge to throw it in somewhere.
Thanks once again for the comments!
Date: 20 Jul 2014 17:53 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
Very interesting. Starfleet taking over Empok Nor after the war makes a lot of sense and so does the Detapa Council following the Bajorans' example and assigning one of their own to be first officer. One wonders however why they would have picked such a charmer for that job, unless somebody there wants to see it fail.
Also like how you've taken DS9's premise of Starfleet taking over an abandoned station but taken it even further. Natale doesn't even have a full senior staff yet. Looks like they're really going to make due with bare bones for a while.
Eton Kirek, for all his disdain and sarcasm and poor attitude, is an excellent soldier. His problem is that he doesn't like having to work with Starfleet. Believe it or not, he's not actually being racist - he just thinks his people can rebuild their society on their own (and doesn't want to have to admit, even to himself, that they simply can't do it by themselves - at least, not yet). He's something of an elitist snob in that way.
The crew are definitely going bare bones on this project. All my research into the Nor class station said that it could be run on a minimal crew of 300, and given the staff shortage on both sides, that's all they were granted - just enough to get the place up and running.
And yes, someone is wanting to see this effort fail.
Date: 20 Jul 2014 13:54 Title: Star Trek: Sanctuary - "A Future of Peace?"
Very interested in this. As you may know United Trek (me excluded) has done quite a bit on the immediate post-war period but I know from the few glimpses I had in your universe previously that you have a different spin on it. I always love to see different interpretations so I think this is going to be fun.
Thank you very much, CeJay!
Yes, given what we heard from Gibraltar (Sam Redfeather) about UT, our version was not nearly as dark as the UTverse, but had no less complications and stresses. I also very much enjoy seeing the different approaches different writers take on the same plot device.
Date: 18 Jul 2014 11:35 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
And now another passenger. Passengers can be more trouble than they're worth but the Klingon wannabe monk of course comes with lots of credit so it worth a bit. Course that means, he might just be lots more trouble to contend with. I do recall him being so but I forget his motivation so looking forward to that. Even without past knowledge, Kresh immediately struck as an intriguing character. A Klingon monk initially seems crazy but holds up as an idea actually and one that might 'honour' some aspects of the Klingon culture depicted in the show.
Telling that Lucas makes gut impressions and of course is cagey about his past being a known factor to anyone. Here, in this instance, it's to preserve a tactical advantage. Living the life he did, it would indeed be hard for Lucas to give that up.
How happy to see that Jodhaa is happy. She's about to embark on a new chapter of her life. Things are going good and she's got a crew around her. Of course, then Purmina seems to let herself down by being so open and trusting to the Klingon monk. Given her memory loss the woman ought to try to be circumspect and more careful about what she does. I've a feeling that may be a recurring issue with the green Orion.
Tabatha certainly knows about troublesome passengers, doesn't she? LoL
Lucas definiately has some good instincts. Comes from spending about half his life (give or take a few years) as a soldier. He's got to be good at reading the people and situations around him. Jodhaa has those instincts too, but they're perhaps not fully realized. Lucas can help her with that.
As for Purnima... yeah, the smart thing to do woulda been to call the boss before bringing some stranger onto the ship (she's certainly learned her lesson there!), But the way I pictured her in my head, she's both brilliant and incredibly naive. It has a lot to do with who she really is and what happened to make her lose her memory.
Date: 18 Jul 2014 11:24 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Interesting times are around the corner. Things seem to be complicated for Lucas in his past and having Shaki around will probably only complicate matters going ahead, a very uncomfortable reminder of what ever went down. Meantime, as Lucas tries to forget his past he seems to be trying to ignore some of the present as there's an undeniable 'frisson' between Jodhaa and Lucas. If it can ever be anything more is another question. Sure is one way to make things complicated and messy. However, it certainly adds a lively spark to the crew dynamics. Great little world building aspects in here too and I particularly liked Jodhaa's trials trying to get a commercial license and get the business up and going. Her complete naiveity on the matter shows how much she was sheltered by being a part of the Étoile. Those matters probably rested on Beks or one of the others. Again, it shows the challenges and the growth for Jodhaa now that she's Starting Over.
Thank you so much, Fave! So happy you like my "world building" skills -- sometimes I worry I'm either putting in too much detail, or not enough.
Yeah, seeing Shaki wasn't entirely pleasant for Lucas. But being the professional he is -- not to mention good friend of the Andorian -- he put his discomfort aside and dealt with it. I'm fairly certain that over the four weeks Shaki was on the Lyriq, they got along just fine.
Yes, there is something between Jodhaa and Lucas -- perhaps subconsciously, they both sensed the deep pain of loss, the kind of heartache that never fully heals. Whether or not they can actually have something is still a question, you're absolutely right. I guess we'll see what else my Muse comes up with.
Date: 16 Jul 2014 15:06 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
An exciting episode at the end, showing just how Chvatal definitely has the propensity to get them into trouble. I've a feeling it won't be the last time. However, I like the fact that Jodhaa allowed her guard down enough to get the drop on. It didn't work out so good for her of course but it did serve to add these events to the proceedings but it also served to show some flaws in her and it also showed that she's got a big heart and isn't playing it all hard and moody. Instead, she's embracing her new life and her new friend too.
And then the Lucas stuff. Yes, he's a big gorram hero there at the end - but that's what he's trained to be. What impresses more in a way is the earlier exchange with Jodhaa about the state of the ship. He's shows his know how and how he is going to be of use to Jodhaa before he ends proving himself in other ways at the end. Telling too that she fessed up about how dire her monetary situation is and how much she sank into the boat. Shows too how important it is to her.
But in the end, it is time to go. The adventure is only starting.
Thanks again, Fave. Glad you're enjoying the story again.
I think it was actually a good thing that Jodhaa let her guard down a little. Such a thing has happened so rarely to her that it's a telling sign, I think, that she's starting to get over the pain of her loss a little -- though it's not likely to happen again anytime soon, at least not in public, so to speak. When they're on the ship, sure, she can relax. But out in the crowds on a space station or planet? Jodhaa will likely be extra vigilant, especially as I think Purnima reminds her of Rini.
Lucas definitely has the training to be a hero, something he's been in the past and will be again in the future -- saving people is his stock and trade. But as you noted, he also proved himself a knowledgable mechanic, which is something Jodhaa clearly needed.
And yeah, her boat is worth every slip of latinum to her. She has more fond memories of the class than bad ones. That boat is also not just her livlihood, it's her home.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 09:37 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Oh, this was delightful to read! Truth is, I was waiting for a shoe to drop, and for Shaki to turn problematic.
I'm so glad that you've got a series in mind. It'll be great to see what else happens with these folks.
Nope, no problem with Shaki except that he was a bit of a thorn in Lucas' side - a reminder of the incident which led to his suspension form the Marines. Hoping to cover that in the next story.
Quite pleased that you not only enjoyed this story, but want to see more. Thanks so much for all your comments, I doappreciate them. Hopefully it won't he too long before I get the next adventure written.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 09:19 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Okay, good, smart, plan, and it will answer a few questions rather neatly.
Heh, never trust a polite, clean Klingon, eh?
PS I also pull occasional stuff from Firefly - I agree, it can be hard to find civilian-style stuff in Trek (I have a series I've kind of dropped in favor of other things. Similar gang of 'big-time heroes' but they aren't cargo haulers. They're a barnstorming team).
Yep, it's looking like polite Klingons just can't be trusted, lol.
It would be awesome if there was more information on civilian vessels in Trek, but there just isn't. Thus, those of us with a penchant for featuring civvies in out Trek universe have to look elsewhere. I've also got another civvie crew I'll be writing about in the future on a ship borrowed from Star Wars.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 18:11 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
I like how the people keep assembling, although I have to say I'm getting kind of a reversed-gender Firefly vibe.
A big reason you're getting the Firefly vibe is because the Va'leh-class Mid-bulk Transport is a Trekkified version of that ship. When Miranda Fave and I were both developing the characters of our respective civvie crews and looking for ships, well... As any Trek fan knows, the choices for civvies is extremely limited. There aren't too many out there that have good pictures from Trek, and deck plans are almost non-existent. Anyone writing for a civilians on a ship in the Trek universe has almost no choice but to look outside the franchise for a ship.
Fave and I both are great fans of the show Firefly and the follow-up movie, and we were lucky to locate some great pictures and even some deck plans online (though quality pictures are definitely hard to find of the deck plans). We discussed what to call the class in the Trek universe, which species it would originate with, and settled on Va'leh for the class, as a nod to Serenity Valley, for which Mal Reynolds' ship was named. And as we agreed that the ship would be Andorian in origin, we decided that va'leh was an Andorian word for ... you guessed it: valley. After that, we both had a Va'leh-class ship.
However, unlike Reynolds and company, who had no problem smuggling or transporting for criminals, Jodhaa plans on running a legitimate business. Beks would skin her alive if she ever found out she'd flipped.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 18:03 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
... and more assembly of personnel. I definitely had the sparring sessions pegged as flirting; Jodhaa is in some deep denial there. And so is Lucas. But that is an awfully small ship if things do not work out.
It would be a bad thing if things don't work out, eh? I'm certain they will, but it's going to be a rough ride until they get to the point where they're willing to admit how they feel to themselves, let alone each other.
Thanks for the kind words, glad you are enjoying the story.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 10:41 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Ah, no damsel in distress needing to be rescued here. Purnima knows how to handle herself.
And kudos to Jodhaa for standing up to the Klingon looking for his vengeance. A lesser person wouldn't have hesitated handing over the man who hijacked their ship and took them prisoner. Vernon pretty much owes her his life.
This was a great little story, showing that grand adventure can be had even among a civilian crowd of well meaning freighter jocks. And that you don't have to wear a uniform to be a decent and honorable person.
These three heroes make for a great team and I wouldn't be disinclined at all to read more about their adventures.
Nope, definitely not a damsel in distress our Purnima. Her having "moves" is just one of her little mysteries revealed.
I wouldn't doubt that if Jodhaa hadn't spent ten years under the tutelage of one of the best and most principled boubty hunters in the verse, she'd have been all for just getting rid of the highjacker. But having been mentored by Beks and being a licensed bounty hunter herself, she's a law-abiding citizen...even if the laws aren't those of her home government.
Thank you once again for reading the story, for all your compliments. I'm so pleased you liked this tale enough to want to see more of my trio of intrepid heroes. There are definitely more adventures to come.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 10:21 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
The inevitable betrayal. Never trust a polite Klingon is the lesson here.
Now it's time to take back the ship. I like the uncertainty about Purnima's allegiance but I'm pretty certain she remains on Jodhaa's side as well. I'm sure her amnesia is going to produce some surprises still, I just don't think this is going to be one of them.
Also never realized how easy people have it on Starfleet ships compared to old cargo haulers. I guess even I have started to take internal sensors for granted. Awesome little detail, as is their attempt to find Purnima's tricorder, which apparently it turns out is not that common outside Starfleet either.
My only nitpick here, and I had to look hard, are some of the long character monologues early in the chapter. I appreciate that they help provide needed character background but they feel a little too long and stilted.
Yeah, there are surprises in store where Purnima is concerned. I'm really hoping that the next story, where I'll be revealing some of her mystery, meets expectations.
I thought that detail about Lyriq not having internal sensors was a great idea, too. I figured older ships, aswell as the fact that it was built for civilian use and not military, would mean there would be distinct differences in technology. After all, not only does she not have internal sensors, but she has no replicator or transporter (all the deck layouts mentioned are taken directly from the Firefly-class deck plans; the tech, of course, Trekkified).
I will have to keep your points in mind; I really hadn't noticed the length of the interior monologues, I just knew that there needed to be some background to set the scene.
Thanks once again for the review, so happy you like the story.
Date: 13 Jul 2014 03:40 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
And this motley crew grows bigger even still. I like the fact that the newcomer is a Klingon monk. And it isn't really much of an oxymoron, after all we've heard about Klingon monasteries before. Not every Klingon is the empire is going to be committed to a life as a warrior.
Of course with Lucas' trouble-dar going off I can't help be suspicious of their latest passenger. Maybe he's not quite what he pretends to be. A wolf in the fold, as it were. Thankfully Lyriq's crew are no sheep and will know how to defend themselves if necessary.
Still really enjoying this story as well as your impeccable writing style.
Thank you so much! I thought the twist of the Klingon monk-in-training was a neat idea. Something we so rarely see in Trek, though as tou said, there's ca on proof that they exist.
Lucas' trouble-dar (love that, btw) is a throwback from his days as a soldier. Jodhaa has it too, but her horror is still recent in her mind, I think, and it doesn't help that she is still new to being the one in charge. This will serve as a great lesson for her -- though she did get on Purnima's case about not getting permission to bring Kresh on board in the first place. And yeah, these three are definitely not sheep!
Thanks much for the compliments!
Date: 12 Jul 2014 19:13 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
“Until recently, I was a lieutenant colonel in the Marines. And that’s all I plan to say on the subject.” Hmm, so there's more to Peck than meets the troubled past eye. You know, it strikes me here that all three of them are carrying around heavy weights that offer a semblance of who they are of some sentimental value. Chvatal has her incongrous wardrobe (a detail I just love), whilst Peck has his arsenal, meantime Jodhaa's is the ship itself. The Va'leh class represents a link to her past on the Etoile where she had family and a home. But rather than clinging to the past, she's kinda dragging something from her past with her as she strives to make her new life, just like Peck and to a degree Chvatal too.
Again, mysteries abound about our two new crew members and surely trouble will follow in their wake at some juncture. In the meantime, there's a ton of great banter and an easy way into knowing our characters who are forming neatly into a cast to populate stories.
Oh yeah, all three of them have their own form of baggage, that's for sure. Purnima has a past she can't remember, and Jodhaa and Lucas both have one they'll never forget. For each, and for different reasons, it indeed weighs them down.
I am glad you like the banter and how well they're getting along so far. It really is fun to write snark, which one can't always get away with when writing for a Starfleet crew. On a Federation ship, sure there's a time for it now and again, but those times are so few and far between. On a civvie ship, pretty much anything goes.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 19:05 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
So we learn Chvatal's name and the mysterious stack up surrounding her strange amnesia. As I say, it indicates bad things about who or where she came from. Meantime, I love the dynamics between naive, polite and sweet Chvatal and the more universe weary, jaded or at least skeptical Jodhaa. The odd partnership looked like fun and both of their characters lent us a neat way into this universe. Oh but wait, they're parting ways. Yeah right. But I like the natural feel of the situation and how Jodhaa after her kind act does leave Chvatal alone, cos in that kind of harsh world of the Borderlands that's what would likely happen.
Then onto the scene arrives Peck. A man with a troubled past me figures. Straight off, there's a fun spark between Jodhaa and Peck. Some might read more into than that, than I, not me, nope not at all... Should be fun seeing himsigned on to the crew because regardless he seems to have a knack for catching Jodhaa off guard. But will he bring trouble of his (gun arsenal packing) own? And once again, the issue of trusting strangers is brought to the fore. In her line of work, Jodhaa is faced with a lot of unknowns.
Yep, the mystery of Purnima remains a mystery, lol. As I said before, there's a story there, and more to come. But yeah, typically, Purnima woulda been left to fend for herself, because in the backwoods of the universe, it's survival of the fittest. I thought it would be very interesting to make Jodhaa and Purnima opposites - one innocent, one world-weary. This way we get two totally different perspectives on what they are going through.
Lucas and Jodhaa... yeah, I love the snarky spark between those two. They were fun to write. He's like Jodhaa in that he's somewhat embittered and jaded about the universe, based on recent experiences. Part of his backstory is revealed later in this story, but it'll be another one before other things come to light. As for his relationship with his new boss, it was quite the start and wont' always going to be smooth sailing, but I believe they are developing a mutual respect for one another.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 18:53 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Awesome to see the Lyriq crew here on the Archive Cam at long last. Re-reading it is a blast because right out of the cage, there's plenty to love and to draw the reader in. The focus on two female characters, the civvie aspect to the Trek universe, a gritty underside to proceedings and lots of wicked cool dialogue. Of course, it helps that I know Jodhaa some so it adds an extra dimension knowing where she is coming from and how she is starting out and starting over.
However, I like the parallel here in that the OAW is similarly adrift and at a loss at this point in her life. For Jodhaa it's the tragedy of the attack and leaving her family and home of the Étoile and trying to start out on her own and forge her own path. But for the OAW it's down to a very strange case of amnesia that hints to all manner of suspicious origins to her background. Somehow I think Miss OAW is going to bring trouble down upon Jodhaa's head in lots of ways but in certain big ways down the line. Looking forward to all along the way.
Thank you for the welcome, Fave! So glad you are enjoying the story once again. I figured this was the best story to post firat because aome of the readers here are already familiar with Lyric's captain. Folks that remember her fierceness from "Dead or Alive" will see another side of her, or at least a start to her evolution from crew member to leader. I hope they hang around for the adventures yet to come.
As for my resident OAW, Purnima's amnesia has a reason behind it. I've had a plan for her from the beginning, and I can only hope that what I have in mind will be entertaining and enjoyable.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 18:39 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Long chapter but jammed full of excellent dialogue and character moments. The will they or won't they dynamic of Lucas and Jodhaa, I assume, is going to play a central role in this story/series. Good, I like some well done sexual tension and this is off to a great start.
And now we get another crew member or passenger for this adventure? What are you trying to do here, get the full color spectrum? Shaki is an interesting addition even if he'll turn out as just a 'guest star'.
And yeah, a trip to Cardassian space in an unarmed freighter is going to be a great idea. Can't see anything going wrong with that.
I wasn't aiming for a full color spectrum, lol, just throwing a kink into Lucas's day with Shaki. He was created just for this story, but may appear as a guest again in the future, who knows? Whatever the Muse demands, I write.
As for the sexual tension between the captain and her mechanic... I honestly didn't start the story intending for there to be any hint of romance. But as I said, I go where the Muse takes me. As the writing went along and the history of the characters came to me, it just seemed natural for there to be some underlying tension and an attraction both are fighting to ignore.
Thanks once again for the review, I'm so happy you are enjoying the story.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 11:07 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
I wanted to comment because I took a look at the first four chapters (as for the next few chapters ... life is threatening to intervene) and I think this is a dynamic opening. The characters are well-drawn and interesting, and the premise is a good one.
Welcome to Ad Astra!
Thank you so much, Jespah! I realized just this morning that I'd signed up to Ad Astra a little over two years ago, and had never posted a story. I figured it was high time to do so, but decided instead of one of my many Starfleet crews, I'd go a different direction and start with the civvies. I know there really aren't too many writers writing about civilian live in the Trek universe, which is a shame. The regular, everyday folk shouldn't be forgotten. Not that I haven't written plenty of starship stories and the like, of course!
I also realized I had to fix chapter five, which some how was missing about two-thirds of it's content. Luckily it was an easy fix. Made sure to check every other chapter to make sure nothing was missing. Can't believe I hadn't noticed the who chapter didn't get posted. But it's all good now!
Thank you for the warm welcome! I'm looking forward to getting a few more stories posted here in the near future.
Date: 12 Jul 2014 09:57 Title: Star Trek: The Merchant Vessel Lyriq - "Starting Over"
Looks like crew dynamic and loyalty is not going to be an issue on this ship and thanks to Lucas's true aim, they survive their first crisis.
I like this bunch and I'm looking forward to see what kind of trouble they'll manage to get themselves into next.
Thank you so much, CeJay! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.