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Reviewer: Robert Bruce Scott Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 12 May 2020 22:25 Title: Child of Winter- Gary Mitchell Lifeguard

Nice choice of character. Gary Mitchell is introduced as Kirk's best friend, but there's evidently a screw loose deep inside there...

Good story. 

It looks like you copied it into the buffer and the system did not recognize your apostrophes and quotation marks. 

You should be able to delete and reinsert these (one by one) by disabling HTML and checking the Use tinyMCE option.

Thanks!! rbs

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Dec 2015 16:14 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard -"Melekalikimaka"

Ah. That was perfect! I do love this series, and a look at who Gary might have been. It seemed a waste that we only saw him in one episode; the character had such great potential, as you've highlighted in this AU series. One of your great gifts is breathing life into one-off characters, making them more real, and giving us the impetus to care about their lives - to laugh, cry and celebrate along with them.

I like, too that the three cadets who conspired for snow in this piece had a history with it and Christmas memories - some pleasant, others not so much.

BTW, love the picture of a snow-capped SF - adds credence and a sense of whimsy to this holiday piece. Excellent job, as always. :D

Author's Response: I'm glad it worked ultimately as it came from nowhere this story. Wish I could do so much more with Mitchell, I abandoned my story of regular Mitch and Kirk in their days pre-Enterprise. The SF picture is about the only one I could find beyond one of the early 20th Century. Funnily, snow is expected this week in the Bay Area they say. Thanks again LBD, for more besides as always.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:59 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

Just a weary, quiet ending to an exciting story. Great job!

Author's Response: thanks muchly. It was a tricky one to right. The idea seemed good then I needed to actually write it but it was worth a punt :)

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:56 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

Ah, so did the transporter work after all?

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:51 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

Time's running out! Very exciting chapter!

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:48 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

As, ze plot thickens - and here's where we really diverge from the original. Good way to turn the story and make it your own.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:42 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

The numbers keep getting smaller, which was a compelling part of the original story, too. Good suspense here!

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:39 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

I get the feeling it's not such a good idea to be going in ....

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:34 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

I know The Poseidon Adventure well and your story is similar. Let's see how more modern times have maybe changed things ....

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:24 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

Great description of the killer wave although I have to say I would hope there would be better precautions and monitoring protocols in place during that time period.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Oct 2015 00:14 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard#4 "Goin' Down"

Uh, oh!

Ava Gardner has to be in this movie.

Reviewer: Gatekeeper Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 May 2015 00:40 Title: Gary Mitchell Lifeguard- "The Man With All the Toys"

Well, as you know already, Mac, I have a soft spot for your Gary Mitchell series anyway. This one had some truly fine moments, which made it one of the finer of the Mitchell series stories, and also a truly fine Christmas piece.

Having Mitchell trip over the bag was very believable, and my first thought was "who left the bag there?" That question isn't answered for us, and I sort of expected it to be since the Mitchell series usually deals with solving mysteries. Maybe the answer is a companion piece to this one, a sequel of sorts, where Gary sets out to find out who left a bag in Golden Gate park, containing gifts addressed to each of the current children in a particular orphanage.

That, for me had a sinster feel to it, and I wondered who would do such a thing, and why--whether they wanted to simply remain anonymous or if it was for some nefarious purpose. That said, I'm so glad nothing bad came of it.

I love that Mitchell took the trouble to return the bag, and that he didn't give up, even though there was a problem with the train and then the transporters, so he had to rent a boat and walk the rest of the way. I like that he got Kirk involved with the project, and that they decided to stay once they arrived at the orphanage.

I especially liked that Mitchell thought he heard Santa during the night. All in all, this story has everything a good Christmas story should have--family themes, warm fuzzies, and just a touch of mystery and imagination. Well done.

Not sure how I've missed this before now, except that I haven't been able to read as much lately as I'd have liked. I've been up to my ears in work, but I'll definitely be looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Firstly, my thanks for reviewing. I was quite surprised to get a review on it or anything to be honest! It's funny, but I guess this does have a sinister feel to it. I intended it to be humourous but it could be seen to have that edge of darkness to it. Writing this kind of story where accident follows accident was taken from those episodes of sitcoms where it happens (I think Cheers' equivalent might be where Sam is locked out of Cheers and tries to get sleep in various homes before ending up at Cliff's) or old TV shows. Need to improve on that aspect I think. Maybe soon I'll get more Mitchell's up. Though I know who left the bag and I'm not sure a sequel would work...just yet :)

Reviewer: Mistral Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 May 2015 08:47 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

I don't get it. Sorry. You had something here-but I'm lost.

Author's Response: As Patrick McGoohan said: "It means what it is." It's my characters, those I write anyway, brought together. They have no particular family and so they have each other. From my imagination they are gathered together. They have no one but each other. So they have family of a sense.

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Jan 2015 17:17 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

Sweet.  Neat to bring all your characters together like that, and the ending was unexpected. Nicely done.

Author's Response: thank you, it sort of was off the wrist this one.

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 04 Jan 2015 16:17 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

Nice to see your family of characters interact.

A sweet little story that shows two can be a family. Top Job.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jan 2015 20:33 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

These three are all familiar to me, so for me, it made perfect sense. And in a way, all three are your family, for you've breathed renewed life into each of these minor characters.  Nice to see them have a chance to hang out together, even for just a little while. ;-)

Author's Response: thank you, I'm glad you liked it. It made sense in my head.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Dec 2014 16:38 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

A strange gathering in the mists of December. It took me a bit to figure this out, but I like it. 

Author's Response: It made sense in my head, but then most of my stuff of late does. It was the best on short notice unfortunately.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Dec 2014 03:27 Title: A Confederacy of Decembers

Aw, Beverly got her holiday wish! 

Reviewer: Strider Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Aug 2014 04:11 Title: Gary Mitchell-Lifeguard --"When I Grow Up (To Be a Man)"

I haven't read your Lifeguard series yet, but I find it really fascinating to get a look into the past like this. I love that we see his esper powers starting to develop in the midst of all the stress and tragedy of his life. Thank you for the look back!

Author's Response: thank you indeed for reading. This is probably the best place to start being his childhood. The Lifeguard series started off as a bit of fun but became something else...a beast really :)

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Jun 2014 23:25 Title: God Only Knows

That is a fine story, it was poignant story for Gary and does explain a lot of his character.

You've done a great job of match Mac story style and you capture the hidden darkness of TOS Federation and Gary past.

Author's Response:

Thanks, Bill.  This Gary had a lot to contend with early in life.  I see this as his darkest day, with things slowly improving from here on out thaniks to good friends - like Jim, Carol and his godson. :)

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Jun 2014 09:25 Title: God Only Knows

That was incredibly tragic and heartbreaking. From the broken home to the death of his mother because they couldn't afford treatment...I'm with kes, I'd have thought by TOS it was truly universal healthcare. Very tragic...especially knowing what happened to Mitchell in TOS, you wonder if that cloud at the end is the foreshadowing for his own unfortunate end in this universe. Very well done.

Author's Response:

Thanks, TS.  This Gary is truly haunted by his past, and I think, given Mac's other pieces in this series, it's what defines him and shapes him into the man he becomes - a man who wants to do his bit to help society, but on his own terms, not pigeon-holed into what everyone else's idea of a 'good citizen' is, or does.

Like I told kes below, to my mind, Gary didn't fully understand the circumstances surrounding his mother's illness and death - children often don't, they just know someone they love was taken from them too soon.

I don't imagine Rebecca would have told him outright that there were extenuating circumstances regarding her treatment - she didn't want to cause him any additional worry, just wanted to focus on getting him to his eighteenth birthday - and I don't imagine doctors would have discussed her condition with a minor without her consent.

Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Jun 2014 02:49 Title: God Only Knows

I can but look on with quiet amazement. Taken the story, opened it up and placed all this inside it that makes it much more. Richer in detail, in the pain Mitchell has. Oh, if only Gary Lockwood had been able to get his teeth into this in his prime.
It fits in with the image of Eldman I have as this grim post-WWIII city that is dirty, grim and somehow lacking. I somehow thought in the 23rd Century that healthcare was problematic for some. Maybe Rebecca either didn't know about her condition or chose to not do anything about it so long as her kids were fine.
Eldman hangs under this dark cloud but San Francisco doesn't (weatherwise in reality....)
It's raw, it's real. This made the man who we saw in Where No Man Has Gone Before as well as the alternate version in this series.
Truly done something to this series and maybe you'll return to it when Mitchell gets out of his damn funk :)

Author's Response:

You hnor me, sir, both by your words and by allowing me to step into this world you created, for just a little while.  And I think you've hit the nail on the head - this rough, unhappy childhood goes a long way to explaining the Gary we see in your AU, or even the great womanizer who was Gary Mitchell in TOS, for what better way is there to keep from being hurt again than by not allowing anyone to get too close.  You really do have wonderful gift for drawing out the hidden secrets and personalities of these behind-the-limelight characters. :)

Reviewer: kes7 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Jun 2014 17:14 Title: God Only Knows

Heartbreaking.  Somewhat shocking, too, that in the Federation, someone would die from not being able to afford health care. I always got the sense that top-rate care was universally available by the TOS era.  

The scene at the cemetery was beautifully drawn -- you captured that alone-but-not-really-alone feeling of visiting a departed loved one perfectly.

Author's Response:

Thanks, kes.  The scene at the cemetery was meant to be a subtle hint at the ESP powers the Mitchell of TOS was known to possess.

And I suspect that not being able to afford health care was not the deciding factor in Rebecca's death.  This is told from an eighteen-year-old's perspective, someone who was only fifteen when his mother was diagnosed, and I doubt he fully understood the diagnosis, or reasons for treatment (or lack thereof).  To my mind, there were other issues involved - other health conditions or frailty that would have made surviving organ replacement surgery untenable, but by eighteen Gary had lost his whole world, and needed someone to blame.  My fault for not making that clearer.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jun 2014 19:43 Title: God Only Knows

Oh man, that last line. That's the bonechilling line, beyond any of the others. Gary, the man under the perpetual dark cloud, the cursed survivor, in a way. Beautifully rendered, as always. Superb.

Author's Response:

Thanks!  I was wondering if anyone would catch that.  Just as the sun came out for him when his father left the family, so now, given recent events, that bright spot of warmth is gone again.  Will it ever be rekindled?  That's for Mac to decide...

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jun 2014 15:42 Title: God Only Knows

You did a great job of setting the moods in both of these scenes. I was particularly touched by Gary's fear that his father was stalking them, just waiting for a chance to carry out his terrible threat. I'm so glad that never happened and Gary's little family had a measure of peace. 

Great cover image, too!

Author's Response:

Thanks!  Like I  said, I had a great original to work with, so all praise goes to Mac. :)

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